VALUED

Growing up in an alcoholic family, my mother basically worked to support us. There were three of us children, I being the youngest and only girl. I remember my brothers baby-sitting me a lot (which consisted of usually locking me in my bedroom so they could play amongst themselves) as my parents would go to parties. My father drank and was lazy when it came to holding down a job. I did not receive the nurturing and attention that I should have. My mother was always working and my father who many times I would find asleep when I arrived home from school with porno magazines and beer cans sprawled about him. His favorite line was, "children should be seen and not heard." I really do not have many memorable early memories with my father.

I kind of remember trying to please my father and trying to win his attention. But, I seemed to annoy him more than anything. I kind of can feel the pain of his rejection now. Something I had not been able to do.

For the longest time, and even up to recently, I believed my value was attained through pleasing people. Being what they wanted me to be. Although I do struggle with this tendency still, I have seen some improvement. At least now I recognize the pattern when I do it. I try and reason it out and remember who I am in Christ before I go any further. NOT ALWAYS SUCCESSFUL!!!! It IS NOT EASY, but it certainly is the way to go for victory!!

The devotional below shares how what really matters is getting our worth from God alone! Hard for us who have been abused and neglected! But, it can be done. And I have seen in others the freedom that awaits with this promise!!!

I look forward to getting one day myself!!!!!

OH YES!!!!

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Many of us learn early in life that we need to earn our sense of value. For some, value was earned by entertaining people with our clowning acts. For others, value came from taking care of everyone else. And for others, value was derived from achieving success of some kind. But often there is no way to entertain enough, take care enough or achieve enough to meet our needs for approval. No matter how compulsively we entertain, or care or work, we still are not able to feel valued. These substitutes do not meet the deepest longings of our heart. In addition we run the risk of becoming compulsively attached to these substitutes because we fear that the sense of value which they offer is our only hope of finding peace.

The longing to experience ourselves as valued is a fundamental human need. The need is really a need to be heard, seen, enjoyed and loved by others for who we are rather than for what we do. No amount of earned approval can meet this need. We long to know that we have value simply because we exist. This kind of value cannot be earned, it must be received as a gift.

Jesus says to us "you are valuable. Simply because you are, you are valuable". The birds of the air are God's creatures. God sees them and cares for them. God made them and God enjoys them. They are valuable. You, too, are God's creation, made and known by God. God sees you and cares for you. You are of great value. As we grow in our awareness that our true value is a gift already given to us by God, we can begin to let go of the tight hold we have on our substitute strategies for achieving worth.

Copyright Dale and Juanita Ryan