Man will always disappoint us and cause us grief in many forms. That is why I am fighting fiercely not to people please anymore!!!!! Only leads to major disaster and severe emotional hurt!!! Something I want so desperately to be set free from now!!!
My painful people pleasing relationships of the past were nothing but toxic!! Even though I knew they were, I still pursued the sick relationships in order to feel accepted and complete. Despite knowing in the end I would end up crashing emotionally once the relationship was over. That is the sickness of people pleasing!! This is NOT an easy battle to be won!!!!
Basically all my life I aimed to please. Just yesterday in t. I was able to recall around the young age of 8 or 9 I started trying to please one friend over another. So, all through the years I was able to master my craft. Yeah, master it, but the end result would always be the same!!!! Hurt, failure, defeat, disappointment!
There will be many storms and people that will continue to come my way, but God wants me to take these things to Him and allow Him to replace my fear and anxieties with faith and trust and to let Him look after these issues for me.
Long and hard road ahead of me! But I choose the healthy road now. I am willing to face the pain and go through the surgery (even though I may still resist) and press on!!
Keep telling yourself there is only one you need to please. And know if you are His, he is already pleased with you, and as you learn to trust more and more in that love for you, that will eventually become enough. But yes, it is a long road. But God is patient!
ReplyDeleteIf you can not please yourself, you surely will not please others. I have found that only unhappy people are the ones who want to hurry me through emotions that need to be dealt with. True friends will sit quietly and allow you to come through gracefully and your own speed. You have a lot of friends listening to you. Hugs. Tammy
ReplyDeleteMary thank you for the advice in repeating to myself that there is only ONE that I need to please! Amen!
ReplyDeleteTammy, I quite agree with the true friends sitting with you as you journey on. Thank you for sharing and your hugs.
Yeah I can associate with what your saying. Totally radically udnerstand.
ReplyDeleteYeahhhh JBR. I used to hate it when my therapist said for every two steps forward you fall one back. I hated that but I guess now I know it's the way the process moves. Today - I'm thankful you are strong. Always in your corner. Sarah
ReplyDeletehethatsows thank you for understanding, but sorry at the same time you struggle with this particular area. b
ReplyDeleteSarah, yes, I am finding out that I have many-a-day with 2 steps forward one step back. Part of the process, I agree. Appreciate you always being in my corner! Need the encouragement!
Don't try to please others, they may be pleased to just know you, if not, it doesn't really matter. Take care of you first.
ReplyDeleteAMEN. I use to do the same thing. Now, I give it to GOD and leave it there...well, I try to leave it there..lets just say I am still a work in progress.
ReplyDeleteBlessings, andrea
Secretia, that is my goal NOT to have to please people to gain my self-worth!
ReplyDeleteAndrea, yes, a work in progress seems to be correct.
Re-visiting your past pain and having someone to help you see it for what it really was, then help you let it go- IS SO WORTH IT!! Good for you!
ReplyDeleteLee Ann
LeeAnn, thank you! So very true!
ReplyDeleteGood for you for learning to not "people please" - I struggle with that too! You are such a beautiful soul. Hugs to you!!
ReplyDeleteVery very good! Thanks for sharing this timely message.
ReplyDeleteLelia, glad this message could help you.
ReplyDeleteAIP, Sorry you too struggle as well. It ain't fun! Thank you for the compliment and hugs.
JBR, you are so right. Man always disappoints, but GOD is an ever present help in our times of need. The only person you have to worry about pleasing is God.
ReplyDeleteHugs for you my sister!
Rose
I can relate so much to your post today. I feel I am hurting, your post has helped me. thank you
ReplyDelete.
ReplyDeleteRose, I heading that way, thank you for the hugs.
Just Because Today, I am truly sorry for your pain dear that you are experiencing but glad my words have helped somewhat.
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I usually do not respond this much to one of my posts, but I have been so antcy and aggravated most of the day, only because God never lets up with pruning me and having things happen in order for me to benefit from. You would think He would give me a day off.....NOT!!
Anyway, I am fidgity and this is the perfect time to thank all of you as best I can by trying to respond as much to this post and your comments....
Wanted to leave you a comment on your "Desires" post, but it looks like you deleted it. Or at least, my Google Reader says the page is not there anymore. Anyways, just wanted to comment on the beautiful poster(?) you made. I really love it.
ReplyDeleteColleen appreciate the hugs very much, thank you.
ReplyDeleteGGG,thank you! Blessings...
Oh man, I am struggling with this big time.
ReplyDeleteTrying to reach out to people is my struggle. I've been burned so many times that I don't want to try again. All I can do is think of how much I have been disappointed. It's hard to have faith in those around you when your past is telling you otherwise.
I love you. Please only God sweetie.
ReplyDeleteI was a people pleaser most of my life... so busy pleasing others that I became a stranger to my own needs... definitely know what you are writing about here, JBR. Now it's time to focus on you, and what YOU need, what YOU think, what YOU feel. Great post! Warm hugs too!!!
ReplyDeletewow you put it perfectly...
ReplyDeleteMany of us are people pleasers. Learn to please yourself. Glad you are getting help and working through all this.
ReplyDeleteYou said it right... man will always disappoint! My mom used to say "For every look at a person, the LAST look should ALWAYS be to Jesus". Isn't it such a sweet relief to know that GOD doesn't play games and that we can be totally honest with Him. That kind of 'real' is what I want to be. "JBR" tells me that you do too.
ReplyDeleteI have not gone all out to please anyone in order that they will like me, or appreciate me. Well not anymore. You set expectations when you do that. Now I will go all out to be kind, not please. 'Kindness' can come in the form of telling you the hard truth for your own good. 'Pleasing' is telling you something that you would like hear and it may not be the truth. My conscience is clear, I was kind, whether you like it or not.
ReplyDeletePray that MY LORD likes it. Blessings.
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ReplyDeleteWhen we are insecure that is what happens, I went through that in my earlier years but I am glad I grew out of it sufficiently strong enough to exercise BEING ME. God takes us through steps I realise .. clear one hurdle first then we can take the next hurdle using what we have become.
ReplyDeletePraying for you, JBR your spiritual health and strength.
BM
i'm also a people-pleaser. but i have changed that to not be toxic anymore... not easy. but it can be done.
ReplyDeleteEveryone one said it perfectly. Not much more I can add. Great indepth.
ReplyDeleteAww JBR. Your sweet regardless. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteThank you all very much! Your insights are welcomed.
ReplyDeleteBoy can I relate - and it looks like a lot of others can as well. It's hard to change. It feels like selfishness, but you have to keep telling yourself it is not! We are meant to be responsible for ourselves, and if we ignore our needs for others, we are not doing our primary job.
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