"Yet a time is coming
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23

My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.

Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.

Daddy let me be secure in You only!

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

BLAME SHIFTING


T. yesterday proved to be yet another eye opener. Processing the information is a bit more intense for me. The continuation on the topic of shame and what was discussed astounded me. Especially learning and seeing nothing wrong with the following until yesterday when I mentioned to my t. that my mother was still bathing me at the age of 12.

I need to be kept reminded that it was my parents who were responsible for their actions over me. Very very very hard reminder!!

This time, blame shifting is okay!

......SO I will work on believing that .........

I was NOT responsible!

............ and ..........

It was NOT my fault!

14 comments:

  1. Finally you are coming to see that apportioning responsibility where it belongs is the right thing to do in this journey.

    If you have, as we all have, committed some ill in the world that then is our portion but the actions of others that have affected you, that is their responsibility to shoulder whether they will or won't is of no concern to you, as long as you do not shoulder it for them.

    My own bags are heavy enough to carry without carrying someone elses. right?

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  2. Can relate. I am learning too to leave / place the responsibility there where it belongs. GIve it to the owner and NOT taking on all and everything!! Tough going for me too! Hugs across the pond

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  3. You are not responsible. I am praying for you.
    Blessings,
    Deborah

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  4. I always forget to remember those areas of my past from the age of the child I was and not the "all knowing" age I am now. It is very hard to do. Shame is so pervasive, but I'm glad you are aware of why you are feeling the way you are - that means you can change it. ((JBR)) Oh, and I listened to an American Missionary on the radio from Haiti - I hope he was one of yours!!! He said he was not injured.

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  5. It is great to see you writing these words. I pray that they will really hit home! Remember them, because they are so true!! Sorry for being so quiet and out of touch! I'm returning to my old self again and I'm slowly catching up on my reading! Thinking of you! S.C.

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  6. That is right, you were not at fault.

    Secretia

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  7. Love yourself... 'nothing can be counted loss which teaches us to bear our cross'.

    BM

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  8. oh sweetie, it was not your fault!!!
    Do not own something that is not yours to own!!

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  9. JBR,

    I think those are perfect sentiments to focus your thoughts on.

    Love and Hugs ~ Kat

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  10. You are not to blame for any of this, you were the child.....the adults are the ones who were very sick and responsible. Forgive them JBR so that you may live in freedom. Revenge is like a hot coal that you want to throw at someone but by holding onto it you are the only one who gets burned. The people who hurt you need medical and spiritual help.......:-) Hugs

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  11. You are not to blame. You are not responsible. You did not deserve to be abused. You could not prevent it. You could not stop it.
    IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT.
    Hugs.

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  12. You are a courageous woman. With each new awareness, we learn to put the responsibility where it belongs, one the shoulders of those who did the abusing. The sexual abuse was not your fault. It is ok to be angry at those who abused us.

    At an Al-Anon meeting last week, I made a statement that made me realize that I was still trying to carry my load by myself rather than sharing it with others who can show me how to put down the load. Sharing with a therapist, counselor, Sponsor or just a friend can help to lighten our load and sometimes give us awarenesses that we might not get by ourselves.

    (((Hugs))) to you.

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