"Yet a time is coming
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23

My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.

Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.

Daddy let me be secure in You only!

Friday, January 22, 2010

SUTURED UP


Joyce Meyer quotes from her book, Battlefield of the Mind:

"...In my book Battlefield of the Mind, I also write about Mary’s husband, John, a low-key type person. He was a man who had been verbally abused by his mother and taunted by playmates in childhood. He hated confrontation and couldn’t stand up to Mary’s strong will. In his own way, John was as much a prisoner as his wife. He blamed her; she blamed him—and here we see Satan’s deceptive ways again."

"John also believed another lie of the devil—that he wasn’t truly loved by God. How could he be? He wasn’t worth loving. Because he felt that way, he had believed the devil’s lies. “I felt as if God said to the world, ‘Believe in Jesus and you’ll be saved.’ I got in on some kind of package deal—but I never felt I was worth loving.”

This is how I have been feeling as of late. The Lord has me in an extremely painful spot in my journey. Where I am going to have to need Him MORE THAN EVER!!! How much I have to rely on trusting Him MORE THAN EVER!!! Believing if things are painful, that He is there comforting me and reminding me that I Am Loved. Something that is so very hard for me!!

I pleaded with Him that I am not strong yet to go through this particular pain! For some reason, He's not listening..... Does that ever happen to you??? :)

In fact, He impressed upon me that things will even become a bit worse before they get better. But that, He would be with me and that I needed to go through the pain in order to become stronger and reach my goal on the other side! So pain here I go....

I feel so much like Mary's husband John. I am at a place now where first I am struggling to believe I am so much worthy in God's eyes and secondly hating to set up even more powerful boundaries in order to have a voice and not fear what others think of me in order to reach my destiny to freedom!

Having to train my thinking to take a different route now. A more healthier one. One that repeats and believes that, "It is not about me. I have no control over what others think about me. I did NOT cause the situation." This is so hard for me. I do not want people to think bad about me!

Yes, God is even using Christians in my life, who mean well, to penetrate my open wound to my heart. A wound that is so very raw and infected and in need to be sutured up with His love and once and for all healed!

I want to thank you all for your continued support, love, concern for me! You truly mean a lot to me. Will not lie, at times it is hard for me to digest the loving comments you leave for me, because of my belief system, but I am so thankful that you have not given up on me and encourage me every step of the way!

17 comments:

  1. Praying for you dear to feel God's loving arms.

    BM

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  2. stuck-in-the-middleJanuary 22, 2010

    JBR you're precious. Hang in there.

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  3. Continuing setting boundaries as you go along in your journey is natural. Some are harder than others. Good that you know God is with you every step of the way. That's the important part. Keep beliving in yourself that you are worthy of his love, others opinions of yourself don't matter. God Bless.

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  4. We are encouraged by you to just be real. Honest comments are what comes from heeding that.
    Full recovery is when you become refocused, come out of the treehouse, the nest.

    Secretia

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  5. We never get more than we can handle, even when we/I believe otherwise.
    Loving yourself too is very helpful. Surely we never want that others think bad of us. Mostly they dont as we just assume they would. However sometimes someone doesnt like us / me and that i sok too. I dont like everyone either.
    Hugs to you

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  6. Love, Hugs and Prayers JBR !
    GG

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  7. this week was hard for me too. I had a hard time staying present....but today is better. Some days I guess are just like that. In your corner...believing in you....knowing you are a gift and hoping you come to believe that too. Sarah

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  8. i think you need to trust Him to know that you CAN handle it. and once you stop resisting, you'll get through it? hugs and love.

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  9. Sweetie your a light to many here.  Your an inspiration.  REmember that!

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  10. And we will NOT give up on you. We will love you, even when you are not sure you want to be loved. Been there, done that!
    Think of it this way: You did not get this way over night and it is likely the healing process will not happen over night either.
    My journey has been long and I am "still" very much a work in progress!
    Hang in there!!
    Blessings, andrea

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  11. JBR,
    Wishing you always
    A bright sky above
    The pleasure of doing
    The things that you love
    God's blessings around you
    His light on high
    And deeper contentment
    As each day goes by.

    Margie:)

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  12. I have asked God many times to take this pain from me, so I understand how you feel. I admire your faith and strength.

    xoxo, Catherine

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  13. You are so real. I mean that. God is just crazy about you. He loves you so much. You always have my prayers and hugs.

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  14. Be strong in His mighty power JBR! God bless and protect you always.

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  15. What I love so much about you is your honest sharing and making yourself vulnerable to not only us but to God. It's beautiful and I feel priveledged to have found my way to your blog here. I look forward to the day that you stand upon the mountain and scream, "I am loved. I am worthy! I deserve all of this!" You will get to this point as long as you keep going on this journey of yours. I will keep praying that you will not lose sight of the prize. I wish that I could give you a hug right now but since I can't I am sending you hugs right now...(((((HUGS))))

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  16. God will never give up on you, neither will I.

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