and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23
My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.
Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.
Daddy let me be secure in You only!
When I finally came to terms that I needed help, all my life I kept on admitting to myself before hand that how I reacted to things was simply, "I just can't help it." The abuse, the divorce, my mother ingraining deep down in my soul that I was not capable of doing things correctly all applied.
Avoidance was my friend at all costs. Although, I truly believe, I had not had the mature development realization to understand the whole picture of how damaging my upbringing was up until a couple of years ago.
Just in recent days, as my posts have revealed, the Lord has been revealing to me certain memories. Memories that were so stuffed down inside of me that they laid dormant and only existed at the time they were happening some 40 years ago. When they resurfaced, it was just like yesterday. Maybe there will be more to come, and maybe not. It is in His hands and timing. He knows what it will take for my emotional healing.
So, I have been seeing how God is setting me free little by little in some areas. First my mind and beliefs how I perceive things. I feel I am becoming more independent and confident in myself. Not having to rely on others. Have a ways to go still, as the struggle in this area is very deep and painful as I want to please, want to be liked, don't want to be talked negatively about. But, I do see progress.
As many of us know that the mind is the battlefield and Satan's playground. As I increase in strength and power over my thought life, Satan's play area will grow smaller. God has given all of us the ability to choose right from wrong thinking. New good habits need to be formed in filling our minds and lives with the Word of God, prayer, praise, fellowship with others alike the easier it will become in tackling stinkin' thinkin'.
Becoming stronger each day with the Lord, as I am desiring so much from Him is evident. Even when I first became a Christian many years ago, I have not felt so much determination to fulfill His purpose on my life as I do now.
Must be reminded though not to rush the process. There is still some major healing that needs to take place. But I am on my way, and it will be okay!