As I become more resilient and healthier on my journey, I find the enemy's attacks even more fierce. He knows his time is short.
My emotional sickness that I am working through proved to me how attached I have become to it all these years. The sickness was a part of me. I visualized it as the being in the movie "Alien" that would attach itself to the body of a human and dig deep within the soul of man and live off it. A very strong attachment. A stronghold. A very existence which I saw no other way out. I knew I was extremely unhappy and depressed but I thought this was my lot in life. Deal with it!
Well, I finally came to terms that my dealing with it, was not working anymore! I needed help. I needed to become real. I needed not to deny and put on a facade anymore. I was in so much misery inside, I needed to come forth and admit I have problems that have been affecting my very being for so many years. I needed to come to terms that I needed to get well.
One who was there had been an invalid for thirty eight years. When Jesus
saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition a long
time he asked him, "Do you want to get well?"
John 5:5-6
Potent Scripture verse. No dilly-dally from Jesus. In essence He said, "if you are tired of the way you are living and are miserable and want to get well, then move. DO IT!" That is what I chose to do! I had enough. I sought help. I wanted to get well.
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