All I ever wanted in life was to be loved, approved and accepted by all. Unfortunately, I would have to become what I thought others would like me to become. I was a regular vending machine. Push whatever buttons that would please this one, and then push another to please that one, and yet another and another and so on and so on.
There came a day after many many many years, my vending machine's inner parts started wearing down. They just could not operate to maximum capacity anymore. When you would press one button, the light would go out and nothing was dispensed. My parts wore out. I realized, this is not going to work any more. My vending machine needed to go into the shop!
One day, after bringing my vending machine into a reputable repair shop, my old inner parts were brought out and looked at. The many buttons that graced the front of my machine were slowly being whittled down. Was told this process takes a while to complete and to be patient. There are some days in the whittling process where it is very painful. Not as flexible as it once was. Still, the repair shop hammers away, molds and re-shapes in order to fine tune my dispensing machine for that one day where it can be displayed again. This time, afresh and independent! Standing alone with only "one button" to push.....
You are worthy dear one, so worthy.
ReplyDelete"ME" is absolutely ENOUGH
ReplyDeleteawesome analogy, sounds very positive
ReplyDeleteThis is a brilliant blog post...how true this was for me and I am sure so many others; we tend to do so much for others approval and we forget ourselves in the process, from reading your blog, I would venture a guess that your ME is wonderful!!!
ReplyDeletexoGabi
I love the analogy! Here's to being you dear! *hugs*
ReplyDeleteSweetie I love how you wrote this piece. Keep up the good work to your freedom!
ReplyDeleteOH JBR, I just read your previous post about church and then this one. You're trying so hard...I totally get what you're saying..I have found certain places trigger my stuff...like church while others give me a real sense of belonging. Hang in there ok. I'm going to email you....there's so much I want to say...but for how now....hugs.
ReplyDeleteJBR,
ReplyDeleteLove this post! Very creative, insightful, and so true.
Blessings,
Tammy
I really like that analogy, JBR. Good thoughts...ang
ReplyDeleteBeautifully put, dear friend.
ReplyDeleteBlessings, andrea
You write so honestly and openly, your post was beautifully written. It took me many, many years to understand I couldn't please everyone. As long as I can please God I know He will take care of the rest.
ReplyDeleteSweetie enjoy this day and may it be fill with blessings from above!
JBR: It's the same refining and purifying process He does to all of us. I may not have the kind of past that you came from, but trust me... there's enough 'stuff' for Him to work on in me anyway,daily!... and He does! It's not fun, but it's part of His plan, He's shaping us and purifying us....and you're doing great!
ReplyDeletethis post has codependency written all over it. glad youre able to recognize the symptoms. god does the healing. hes the only one you should be codependent on.
ReplyDeleteThis writing is a true work of art!
ReplyDeleteSecretia
Praying for your struggles JBR. You've been through a lot. I agree with the rest here, you're a true spirit who not only wants to help yourself but others by telling of your experiences. I admire that in anyone. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteWell put my young friend....I hope you can learn to love and forgive yourself instead of waiting for others to give you what you need.
ReplyDeleteHey you and God is a great foundation, then you can build from there......:-) hugs
I needed to read this today. Thank you. Thank you for sharing your journey. XX
ReplyDeletewow. amazing post...so true.
ReplyDeleteWhat flair in you words. I know that people caught in this vicious cycle end up sacrificing their entire personalities to the whims of others. They become obsessed with finding out just what buttons to press to please and in focusing on this they lose themselves. They fail to meet their needs because they have ceased to be aware of them. Praying that you find your way with God's help. Thanks for the awesome post! Audrey
ReplyDeleteI love this post. The idea of being a vending machine is perfect. And the perfect ending. I also love your new song list. So many of my favorites.
ReplyDeletePerfect way of showing a great problem among people. Many do not recognize they do this. Great post! Thank you for sharing your heart once again.
ReplyDeleteJBR you've been doing great on your walk. Gods been with you every step of the way. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteJBR here is a quote I found for you.
ReplyDeleteLook not to the people around you,
Nor wait for their laurels of praise;
Enough that the Savior has found you
And calls you to serve all your days.
God Bless.
What a nice analogy! As lovely it might seem, it brings out your innermost feelings and despair. I am glad that you are on the right track now. You are special and your intrinsic worth is invaluable always.
ReplyDeleteCelebrating the power of Just Being Real.
God loves you and remember that there is none like you. You are the only one like you. Wow!!! Such knowledge is too wonderful to fathom. Isn't it?
Joy, courage and prayers,
Susan
Oh I love the analogy! Good post!
ReplyDeleteHad to laugh when I saw this post. My wife's sister struggles with trying to please so many. Will have to show this to her. This is good.
ReplyDeletePrecious friend, it took all of your life to get to where you are, so don't pressure yourself to be "fixed" immediately. It will take time to repair that vending machine, but not nearly as long as it did to build it. And I know that surely you are already seeing a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel. It is there, let down your defenses, and move toward it.
ReplyDeleteBlessings and love,
Abbey
Wow, what a powerful post! I can relate way too well to this. I'm so tired of being a vending machine, trying to be everything to everybody. From here on out I'm only giving out peanut butter cups...
ReplyDeleteWonderful. I'm righ there with ya on wanting everyone to like me.
ReplyDeleteawesome analogy.
ReplyDeleteI am whittling, also.
Some people seem to like this better than what I had to offer before.
Most importantly, I like it better.
I'm starting to like me.
I like you too. :-)
Oh I LOVE THIS POST! So real so true.
ReplyDeleteThis is wonderful!
ReplyDeleteMargie:)
Excellent analogy! I hope to be "me" one day...
ReplyDeleteI so agree with what hethatsows stated. That is what I love about your blogs girl. Keep it up even while in the process. janie
ReplyDeleteWow! This is absolutely fabulous, JBR! Thank you so much for letting us use this for THE BLOG CARNIVAL AGAINST CHILD ABUSE. I'm so glad you joined us this month with this wonderful post. What abuse survivor or people pleaser of any kind could not relate to this? It's kind of a spin on the "peeling back the layers of the onion" I've heard of so much over the years. Excellent! Also, I LOVE the photo! Where do you get those?
ReplyDeleteJBR, this is an awesome analogy. The wearing down of the outer and inner parts can result in big health problems and in the end, we truly lose ourselves and have no idea who we are or what we want because we have been so busy trying to win the approval of others. I used to want to put up an "Out For Repairs" sign to give myself a break from all of the people pleasing requests. I am glad that you didn't wait until you were beyond repair. (((HUGS))) and Blessings
ReplyDeleteI've been there. Sometimes I still am. You've shown me a way out today. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteThis is so beautiful. I loved this! ~Cassandra
ReplyDelete