GOING DEEPER

I was going through some old papers and I came across a yellowed creased copy of a devotional that I kept in my Bible from 1993. At the time I had "the crazy co-dependent roommate" who threatened me and accused me of doing things I never did living with me for two years.

I remember making the copy of the devotional from "The Search for Significance" book entitled "Going Deeper." This particular devotional dealt with self-worth. Even knew back then I struggled with this stronghold. But, the stronghold to please my roommate at the time was much stronger, because of the fear she instilled in me.

This era was especially painful and frightening for me as I had never been blatantly accused of things constantly I did not do. I let her have so much power over me. A type of mind control, where fear played into it big time. I knew no other way.

I was at one point fearful for my life because of her. I kept on referring to this devotional through this dark period for some kind of comfort.

She was the reason I ended up in t.the first time for a year just to get my mind straight that I was not this evil person she claimed I was. Only by the Grace of God did He intervene.

Anyway, I have always liked what the devotional said. So, I share it with you now:

I don't believe that any of us will gain complete freedom from our propensity to base our self-worth on the approval of others until we see the Lord. Our God-given instinct to survive compels us to avoid pain. Knowing that rejection and disapproval brings pain, we will continue our attempts to win the esteem of others whenever possible. The good news is that because we are fully pleasing to God, we need not be devastated when others respond to us in a negative way.

As we grow in our relationship with God, the Holy Spirit will continue teaching us how to apply this liberating truth to different aspects of our lives at an increasingly deeper level. In fact, one evidence of His work within us is the ability to see new areas of our lives in which we are allowing the opinions of others to determine our sense of worth. With spiritual maturity, we will more often be able to identify these areas and choose to find our significance in God's unconditional love for us and complete acceptance of us. However, profound changes in our value system take honesty, objectivity, and prolonged, persistent application of God's Word.