When I was in denial about my past, I just lived every day by wearing different masks just to survive the memories of past abuse and hurts. Faking life. Covering up my shame, anger, fears, you name it. I gave the impression I had it all together!
But,
No.....I was living "hell."
I was so very miserable, depressed, sad, hopeless, fearful, etc., the lowest I had ever been. I was afraid for myself. I knew I needed to come to terms with my past and face it and be "Real" about my hurts for the first time in my life!
At the same time I realized I could not do this alone.
I needed help.
I needed help in the worst way.
Not just human help.
But God help!
I began seriously crying out to God for His ultimate presence and His divine intervention in my life close to two years ago to help me along my journey to freedom.
I finally was ready.
I finally was broken.
God was waiting patiently for the day to hear the words from my lips, "HELP."
I was powerless to help myself without Him.
As I began trusting Him, He then could begin to help me. He puts the right people in my life to help me along. The more I have been open and willing, the more He has been able and healing. Which continues to this day. Not always an easy task. Pain is pain and can be excruciating at times.
But, He is doing something MIGHTY in me which is worth the pain. I feel I become stronger daily. Little by little I am opening myself up and trusting Him more.
Still trust does not come easy for me and full trust will take time.
One thing I do know, He is very patient.
And knowing that,
He will walk with me at my pace.
Happy for you my friend. May you finally find peace and move forward with your life.
ReplyDeleteJBR this post is all to exciting to read. You've made great leaps and bounds in your walk to healing. God's presence and grace has been with you all the way. May he continue to strengthen you in your deepest pain and do the cleaning that still needs to be. God Bless.
ReplyDeleteAhhh...yes, walk each of us at our own pace. Praise God that you are growing stronger in Him as each day passes. His peace is perfect...His healing sure...there is no other way around the pain...we must go through it. I'll help you carry your cross and you help carry mine. Love ya!
ReplyDeleteI am so glad He is patient with us!
ReplyDeleteYou just told my story today. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteYou are light years ahead of our prodigal who is still faking it and breaking our hearts. You make a very good point here.
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ReplyDeleteSaleslady thank you for briefly sharing. I pray that your loved one will come to the realization they need help and will cry out to God and seek help as I did. But, one has to truly be broken and willing!
Kathy, thank you for sharing your similarities.
Me too Wanda dear, me too!
Thank you Paula for being there to help carry my cross as I lift you up as well.
Thank you for your prayers onthewayNow for God to continue to strengthen me.
Beatnheart, each day I move closer to my goal. Thank you.
I have been there. I am so glad you've come out of that pit! It seems so simple in hindsight, doesn't it?
ReplyDeleteHI
ReplyDeleteIf you get a moment, please 'google search this: "Please Hear What I am Not Saying" it is really amazing. I hope you like it.
Love Gail
peace.....
Yes, our Father is very patient.
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ReplyDeleteGail, thank you for the google search. That is certainly a powerful poem. I could relate to much of it, especially early on in my journey. Since then, I have become stronger and do not wear as many masks as I once have because of God healing parts of my pain. Amen!
Woman:confused, thank you first for your visit. Appreciate your encouragement.
Denise, thank you for the reminder!
Hey JBR...God will walk with us at our own pace, until he wishes to go faster, then is when he picks us up, and carries us for awhile.
ReplyDeleteDontcha think?
Thanks for taking us back to where you once were to where yoru now.Exciting to read.God's good.
ReplyDeleteHear a message today about just that very thing-dropping the mask and allowing God to bring complete healing. Happy you're continuing to make progress.
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ReplyDeleteWanda thank you. Seems there are a lot of messages out there on this very same topic. A lot of hurting people suffer with covering up their pain.
hethatsows thank you for your encouraging words.
Stevie, nice to see you. Like what you said. He will carry us when we can no longer walk. Amen!
yes he will...it took me a while to get to that broken point where i was ready to give up control and admit i cant do it...
ReplyDeleteIt's encouraging to see how God is working in you. Day by day, step by step. I am glad that He is a patient and gracious God.
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ReplyDeleteBrian, thank you for sharing. Amen, glad you were able to get to that point for your healing.
I too am glad He is patient with us. Thank you lostinamaze.
Powerful testimony - love your truth..
ReplyDeleteKelly
I find it difficult to accept that I need help sometimes (most times) but when I turn to Him, He gives me that help I so desperately need. He is truly praise-worthy.
ReplyDeleteI am so happy to feel your progress. You are being great and simply enough
ReplyDeleteAll it takes is one coming to the end of the rope and realising they can't do it anymore. You have been a perfect example of this to many. A light in a dar place for many. A inspiration. A pick me up when things couldn't get any worse.
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ReplyDeleteKelly, thank you for your kind words.
Lynda, we can be a stubborn bunch. But I am seeing how faithful He is.
Paula, oh Paula, thank you.
Anonymous, yes, when one is ready to give up the reigns, one then can start the healing process.
JBR nice to read your positive progress. He's doing a miracle.
ReplyDeleteJBR,
ReplyDeleteI got shivers reading this post! A powerful witness in the Spirit, too. Yes, He is doing mighty things in you :) Thank You, Jesus! May the Divine Physician continue to heal you!
Yes!! He waits....He asks, "Do you want to be healed?" He waits....till we are ready and we say yes!!! Then the journey really begins, and we learn to trust as we learn more and more about him, and his unfailing, trustworthy, unconditional love for us.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully said JBR!!
Hugs!
"Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." Gal 6:2
ReplyDeleteYour willingness to share not only what you have gone through in the past but what you are going through as well, shows me the amazing progress you are making.
I continue to uplift you in prayer, dear one. God is doing some amazing things in your life. Thank you for letting us all be a part of your healing and restoration. I am truly honored!
Blessings, love, and ((((HUGS))))~
Laura
JBR - I actually saw this post before reading more about you. and oh wow, it just makes it hit closer to home (in a good way) I emailed you :)
ReplyDelete"God was waiting patiently for the day to hear the words from my lips, "HELP." "...so very very thankful His patience and mercy are so longsuffering...
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