"Yet a time is coming
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23

My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.

Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.

Daddy let me be secure in You only!

Thursday, April 15, 2010


I believe the Lord is doing something mighty in me.

These past few weeks, even though I encountered betrayal of trust,

I see growth in me.

In my thinking.

In whom I can trust.

And in my dependence more of God.

God has also put back into my heart, "song." Meaning, worshiping with my guitar.

There were many years that my song was not there.

Back in the late 80's into the early 90's and even in the year 2000, I was involved in some type of small Women's Bible Study, which I provided the praise and worship time with song/guitar.

Difference being back then was I had not begun my journey to freedom and realness. But, God regardless honored the talent He gave me in providing the worship for these women unto Him.

Sadly back then I was there not for Him first, but for others and my sick people pleasing attitude which was full of "hey look at me." The women may not of known my tendencies, but I sure did, as well as God.

Oh, talk about wearing different masks. I was in "one of my deepest co-dependent relationships" that lasted close to three years.

She and I would attend this Bible Study and at one point the topic of the Study was on seeking approval and co-dependency. How ironic is that? But, do you think I admitted I suffered from this? Ha Ha! NO WAY! That was not me!! Just thinking about this deep co-dependency now sends shivers up my spine.

With that being said.....

I envision myself using the talent that He has given me once again with worship.

Besides worshiping Him alone with "my song," I here and there have been worshiping among other believers once again.

I am praying that God leads me to do His will in this area.

As I journey on to health in my emotions, I am becoming more connected to God. I still have a ways to go with the trust factor, thinking the worst of things and the acceptance of His love.

However, for some reason when I am worshiping and in the Spirit, all that does not matter. At times I feel like a babbling nutcase because I am so much on fire I have no control. Then there are times when I cannot even speak.


I am on a different plain.

I am in an different realm.

I am caught up into His presence.

I am apart from my emotionally hurt self.

Now, the ultimate goal is for my emotionally hurt self to continue to become stronger and heal from within the deep core of my pain and then one day merge with my worshiping self.

Now, you tell me,

How awesome will that be!


  1. Keep believing ... it will happen and it will be AWESOME! :)

  2. amen JBR I'm excited for you. And as you let God heal you, He will be faithful to you and bring your hearts desire together in unity with him. God Bless.

  3. Yes, keep your hope and faith.
    Praying for you my dear friend.

  4. Loved this post..so real..so true and so much hope and purpose. God is good.

  5. I love this post....thank you for your love, sharing and positivity.

    "and we will be rocketed to a fourth dimension" I love that part in the Big Book..that we trust and love our higher power...thank you!


  6. That is awesome! God is awesome! It certainly is a journey and I am glad you are sharing yours.

  7. Man JBR, wish I can worship with you:) Playing our guitars! :) I'm glad you're using that talent again! Keep strumming! For Him! God bless.

  8. Such a beautiful post sweetie, love you.

  9. I am rejoicing with you on this level of healing God is taking you to-through and will continue. I've always used the word "nutcase" and that made me laugh when I saw you used it also. I am still struggling with so much at the moment in light of my trip to Atlanta and some poor choices I made, but am not up to writing again yet. Like you playing your music to the Lord, I want to being to enjoy life again...writing again. My heart soars for you my love. janie

  10. that's a great post... you're a beautiful person....

  11. the song of your heart. Isnt that lovely!

  12. It would be awesome. I'm so happy for the progress you are making.