"Yet a time is coming
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23

My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.

Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.

Daddy let me be secure in You only!

Friday, April 09, 2010


I originally posted this post this morning then took it off. I just did not feel comfortable with it.

My Spirit is very unsettled.

I am very agitated and angry.

I felt the need to repost this post again. Don't know why?

All who commented earlier, sorry your comments will not be visible.

If you care to comment again, that would be fine.

I am just not in a good place at the moment.


God just confirmed more to me yesterday how "I can and have been used" by someone who I thought I was more than just that.

I am learning NOT to share anything "personally" real deep anymore with this person.

Even though it is hard to trust God at times, at the same time, the Lord has been preparing my heart for the next stage, so I will not be "totally" devastated as before.

Not saying it still does not hurt, because it sure the hell does when being used or betrayed.

Deeply it hurts.

I do not want to fall back in my old ways of just clamming up. Part of my recovery is to be more real, and not fake as once before. I guess, through trial and error, my discerning skills continue to be sharpen who I can trust and who I cannot. Still, I am human and people are good fakers..... I was one, so I should know.

Seems trust issues is all I have been going through these past couple of weeks.

And I am really tired both mentally and physically......


  1. I am really tired mentally and physically too. Though I trust God, I hurt because "people" who I feel should support me, have let me down. Then again, I guess that's what happens when I make it all about me. More of Him, less of me. I am sorry you were hurt by one you trusted. (((hugs)))

  2. JBR, in my struggle to learn to trust, the first person that I had to learn to trust was myself. I also had to learn to trust God. After those two were learned then it was time to learn to trust others. Where people are concerned, trusting sometimes back fires on you. Yes, it hurts when someone that you trust turns out to be not trustworthy. Learn from that person. Don't let it shut you back down. Living without trusting anyone isn't a good place to be. Trust in God and in yourself to get you through this time of hurt. Grieve the loss of trust in this person. Take care of yourself. Know that there are those of us who care.

  3. Bumming for you JBR. Trust once lost is ten times more difficult to regain. The person you trusted and lost your trust is the loser in this exchange. Hang in there!

  4. I am sorry this happened, love you.

  5. Mega (((((hugz))))) hugzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz to my friend ;=o)
    I am not going to state the obvious here except to say I love you and am soo grateful that you have your blog...it is like a respite in the blogging community for me...enjoy yourself this week-end and here is hoping we both get some much needed and well deserved R & R xoxoxo

  6. Oh JBR, I am so sorry to hear someone has been unfaithful to you. I just don't think people understand how hard it is to trust others. Then when you take that leap and get burned... it hurts all the more. I completely understand. :(

  7. So sorry you are going through this...hope your mind, body, and spirit will receive some much needed rest....

  8. I am having trust problems too. I just blogged about how I have become withdrawn. It is so hard because people just can really not be what they seem... leaving you to feel a bit alone. Be encouraged though. It will be okay for both of us. :o)

  9. JBR,

    Hang in there and see each thing you deal with each day as a task from God. How will you get through it, how will you deal with it? Then before you begin the day, realize that the enemy too, will attempt to discourage you, to sway you from having a happier day than before, and reach out to God and ask for His divine help. Only through that and taking things slowly will you begin to learn that we are always growing in God and always being tested. Slow and steady my friend and don't be discouraged but instead be encouraged by the hope you have that lies within you and the friends who love and support you as you are!

    Make sure you stop by my blog for a chance to enter in both book giveaways as one ends tomorrow.

    Love and Hugs ~ Kat

  10. Praying for you tonight.....

  11. You are an amazing woman of strength, power, love and compassion!! You have been through sooo very, very much and yes this is incredibly painful however in the grand scheme of your life this is what I like to call a "speed bump" baby!!! You have (with God's strength and power) control over what comes into your life and what goes out...now is the time to shuffle out that which does not work any more...this abusive relationship is a 'speed bump' grieve shortly for God has someone who needs you and you need them just waiting around the corner for you!! You are filled with light and love and there is another relationship worthy of that right around the corner for you my friend...it is truth!!!

  12. Hugs and prayers coming your way.

  13. I have always had trust issues. Most of us do I think. But as I started to heal, I learned to trust God, and that helped me learn to trust others, one person at a time really. I still trust very few people. But I surround myself with those people and they help me learn to trust more. I am sorry you have been hurt. I know how that feels. And I hear you. Hugs and blessings.

  14. I hope you'll be able to know who your friends are.

  15. JBR,
    So sorry that you are experienceing this pain. I am still surprised by betrayal even though it has happened to me.

    Here listening and sending hugs (((JBR)))

  16. You know I struggle with the trust issue as well. Every second of the day. It seems to hurt us more when we've invested so much into trying to trust those the closest to us. I am so sorry you are going through this struggle right now sweety. HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  17. Kirby QuentesApril 10, 2010

    “Trust is like a vase.. once it's broken, though you can fix it the vase will never be same again.”

  18. Isn't it hard to be real when that wound shows up? This is progress though! Bless you, dear one. Don't give up; I know you won't.


  19. I'm sorry for your hurt. I hope you feel better and will keep you in my prayers. ((((Hugs))) to you!

  20. Sorry for your people stuggles JBR. Know this to will pass one day as you grow stronger. You're in my prayers.

  21. i remember a bit of very good advice... share. but be very selective about what and to whom. hugs to you!

  22. JBR very sorry you've been hurt. I know how painful it can be that someone who knows your heart—who knows your longings and character—turns the other way. Losing trust in someone is painful. May God restore your heart. God Bless.

  23. "God comes to our lonely, anxious hearts and whispers our name. God says "I see both the fear you have of closeness and the deep longing you have to belong. I have come to comfort you and to respond to your need. I have been seeking a relationship with you. You belong. You belong to me. You are my child."

    JBR... I just re-read this at the top of your page. It's a good reminder for right where you are now. Hang in there... He's there with you and leading you through these days!