"Yet a time is coming
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23

My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.

Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.

Daddy let me be secure in You only!

Friday, June 04, 2010


In yesterday's t. session we continued where I left off the following week with "How was Big JBR doing in forgiving Little JBR?"

After sharing last week in session and putting on a post that night, I went into hiding in the blog world for a few days only because I was so overwhelmed with going to a place that was very painful and forgiveness was involved for myself. Something I do NOT do good with.

But, those days in hiding were not a total loss. I ended up filing away and locking up my feelings after a few days. I envisioned a big file cabinet labeled "Undealt With."

Yesterday's t. session we unlocked and brought the file out once again as I have yet to discard its pain.

Those days in hiding I would think and process about how Little JBR was only doing what she knew how to do in a world that was hard and sometimes out right cruel to her while growing up. She was surviving. She did nothing wrong. Big JBR has to understand this and then eventually come to grips with forgiving the little one and meet her at a safe place.


  1. Fitting picture! I have such a tresor too, taking out issue by issue. I know how difficult it is to co-parent our inner kids when we never experienced parenting ourselves. I have had a hard time with yet. Yet I learn it on the way. it isnt about being perfect co-mother. It is about the need little JBR and BIG JBR have. The both need one another to grow and love, to live and laugh.
    For myself it was hard to accept that Little Paula has plenty of good traits yet not being taught manners I have to teach those too. By now the tantrums grow less. And we listen to each other. Love to little JBR and Big JBR

  2. stuck-in-the-middleJune 04, 2010

    Hang in there JBR. You're blog always brightens and enlightens me.

  3. AnonymousJune 04, 2010

    Sweet JBR I know this is a very difficult crossroad for you now. Forgiving yourself is not about forgetting. It's about not bringing the offense up to yourself in negative ways. Forgiving yourself is simply letting go of what you are holding against yourself so that you can move on with God. If God has moved on, shouldn't you do the same? God Bless.

  4. AnonymousJune 04, 2010

    Most mistakes we make that only involve ourselves are less complicated. Forgiving yourself for a mistake you've made may be as easy or as difficult as you personally choose to make.

  5. Forgivness sweetie is hard. With everything in life theres a time for healing. I know you're relying on our heavenly father to heal your heart. He will help you along to forgiving yourself.

  6. AnonymousJune 04, 2010


    Love the blog post!!! You are really a blessing in my life. Reading things like this really inspires me to look into myself and change things for the better. I have switched over to a different blog. It is still the same look but I had to change emails so because of that I had to switch over to a new blog. I made sure I was following you again. I hope you do the same and follow and read up on my blogs. I will even be posting a new one today!!! So lets follow each other and be inspired and encouraged by each other's blog.

    Gregory A Keels

  7. smiles. go meet her...and give her a big hug...she was doing the best she could, like you said...i am glad she is where she is now though...

  8. Very real...
    Hi. I came across your blog through another blog I follow and have signed up as a follower. When you’re free, please do visit me and let me know what you think of my blog and leave a comment. If you like, do follow as well. I am always open to great new people and interesting websites. Look forward to hearing from you

  9. hi jbr, i'm trying to be more loving and gentle towards myself too. especially in terms of behaviors i learned which don't currently serve me well. instead of beating up on myself in my efforts to change, trying to be gentle and accepting instead. i hadn't thought about forgiveness applying here too. thanks for sharing this post~ wishing you well~~~

  10. I struggled so much with forgiving the little me. I saw her as a wimp...a nothing...and all the things she was called and told. I like your imagery....Stay strong.

  11. I am signed up to receive further post from you. You aren't kidding when you say Just Be Real. I appreciate that.

  12. Forgiveness of the past is something I have yet learned to do. I am so proud of you sharing your deepest secrets.

  13. So true. We're all doing the best we can. Sometimes, I need to sit with what I'm learning about myself. That's part of my healing process, too. Hugs.

  14. Thank you all for your wonderful relatable comments. It is comforting to know that I am not alone in this area.

    Today has been a rough one for me for right away when I stepped into work this morning I was challenged and felt attacked with control issues from my PPP that I right away found myself going into defense mode and resentment.

    One thing, I am so very aware of now, and thank God for the realization since on my journey, is that I try and pull myself aside to calm down. Realizing now that Little JBR is only responding this way back because of the hurt in the past done to her.

    One day Big JBR and her will embrace and be able to handle "life" together.

    Right now Big JBR is trying to calm her a bit from today's riling up from PPP antics because Little JBR is hurt and upset.....Ugh!!

  15. It's neat when you find these amazing pics that go well with your post. Praying that in those times that you were in hiding, God is filling you with His strength. God bless and have a great weekend JBR!

  16. JBR,

    I think so many of us do this with our past that we don't want to deal with. The fact is that is becomes like a disease to our bodies and souls that eats away at us from the inside, until we pull it out, shine the Light on it and forgive ourselves.

    Once we confess our sins, the enemy likes to bring it up again. Yet the Power lies within us believers to reveal that this sin no longer holds us down any longer. It's gone, not forgotten but forgiven and we can take another step forward in our faith.

    Love and Hugs ~ Kat

  17. AnonymousJune 04, 2010

    It's so hard to open up those "files." So very hard. But I can tell you that you have the support of all of your readers (including me) as you go through this tough time.

    And I will always listen.

    Wishing you well,

  18. Why is forgiving ourselves so difficult? I wish I knew.

  19. interesting...just had a conversation via email from an friend of over 23 years over some situations i am dealing with in life and the main topic was "forgiving myself," plus other wonderful nuggets of good advice. It's so easy for me to forgive others, but i find it very difficult to receive forgiveness from my heavenly Father....but we are getting there.