"Yet a time is coming
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23

My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.

Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.

Daddy let me be secure in You only!

Wednesday, July 21, 2010


It has really been a rough rough week for me!

I hate being weak!

I broke down Sunday night. Crying like a baby. In so much physical pain from a bad tooth that I have been neglecting. If any of you know how bad a tooth ache can feel you know what I am talking about.

I have been believing for a healing, and it got the best of me Sunday night. My faith went down the tubes. My anger and frustration level went sky high that I was not being healed like "I" wanted. I was pissed and hurting and angry at God!! I even asked God to take me home early because of the pain.

I can be unbelievably stubborn. I am NOT GOOD at self care. I would rather die (and that is how it has felt these past few days) then fix something and get it over with by using the skilled people that God has blessed.

Some of you can relate because of our past. I really do not like being touched when it comes to doctors, dentists or any other medical professional. So, I will prolong something until it is absolutely unbearable.

Little JBR is very fearful and only wants her Heavenly Daddy arms around her now! Even that is hard. But she knows He is the only one that can truly comfort her.

A few years back I was told by my DDS then that I waited a bit too long to come in for another tooth problem. He said that I was on the verge of becoming septic. I knew I was not feeling well, in extreme pain and my face blew up so I knew this was serious.

I really do not want a repeat performance.

So...... through my stubborn painful tears I broke down and called my DDS this past Monday. Had my appointment today. As expected the culprit is a wisdom tooth. My DDS suggests I get all my wisdom teeth out in one shot. I DON'T THINK SO! Right now, the tooth is not impacted but the nerve is sooooooo very sensitive I see stars and white flashes as I go through the pain if I bite the wrong way or anything cool gets to it.

Naturally I did not make an appointment yet. I have to do a lot more convincing of myself and more prayer to help me make the next move with the oral surgeon.

I will live with the pain for awhile more......

I can only pray for the rapture to come now....


  1. I hate doctors and especially dentists from horrible childhood experiences. I know your fear about going to one.

    I did have all my wisdom teeth out at one time and a couple were impacted. If you decide to do it then I think it is better to do all of them at once instead of one and then having to repeat the tooth pulling.

    I can only tolerate so much pain. I usually wait too late to go to the doctor and then I am in trouble.

    Keeping you in my prayers.


  2. AnonymousJuly 21, 2010

    God gave you your body as a gift to house your soul. It is honouring God to care for it as best as you can. Please be kind to yourself and take care of your dental health. Dental issues can lead to other ailments in your body. My prayers for your strength to care for yourself are being sent your way.

  3. AnonymousJuly 21, 2010

    (((JBR))) Here listening, Sweetie.


  4. AnonymousJuly 21, 2010

    Honey, you are not weak. Everyone feels pain. And wanting to avoid a physical examination by a doctor/dentist is not crazy (heck, I haven't voluntarily seen a doctor in years to avoid being weighed-- excluding Shrinkiepoo). I am so sorry you are in so much pain. I have faith that you will muster up the courage to see an oral surgeon eventually. You deserve to be physically healthy.

    Wishing you well,

  5. AnonymousJuly 21, 2010

    I'm sorry your in pain JBR. I can understand your delima with probably trust issues stemming from you past. Only hoping that you'll be able to get yourself better. God Bless.

  6. Praying for you, asking God to heal you from the pain.

  7. I am so sorry you're hurting! Praying for relief and healing. ((((JBR))))

  8. You need to get this taken care of now! They can put you out to take care of it--my daughter had 4 done at one time--not a problem. I'll pray for you!

  9. O Dearest One, you are really playing a terrible test on your will and reality of what is. You mentioned asking God to take you home early. Are you wanting the tooth to become infected, or it already is, but to become septic and maybe lose your life over a TOOTH? Please come down MENTALLY, I know you are in pain, BE REASONABLE, get some help NOW. As far as your wisdom teeth, YES YES, get them all pulled at once! Don't you have friends who can check on you or care for you? I am so worried. I'm going to pray for you and I hope you listen to me and get some antibiotics. They won't deal with the tooth until they get the infection down.

    Calm down, drink some hot tea, watch cartoons on t.v., that'll make you feel better, and make that trip to the DDS immediately, please!!

    I love you, dearest one, please take care of yourself. If I were there, I would rock you until you slept and care for you, hold your hand at the DDS.

    Keep me posted!

    Abbey ♥

  10. I can so relate to your fearful avoidance of medical help. Everytime I've taken a deep breath and gone in for help, it's felt like a deliverance in my soul. In fact, because of the fear I had to muck through, it WAS deliverance on many levels. Praying that you'll trust your Father to deliver you (in whatever package it comes)...even when it's scary. And I know you know, but it we leak alot when we're in pain, so I'll chime in about how MUCH He loves you.....is absolutely crazy about you and thrilled that you ARE. Smiling with tender love for his girl, He is with you:) -Jennifer

  11. How awful! I will be praying that you take that huge step of faith and call the oral surgeon. Going to an oral surgeon is difficult for most people and I can't even imagine how difficult it is for those with abusive pasts!

  12. Hope your pain went away, and you are not praying for the rapture, to get out of pain.

  13. Dear JBR...so sorry for your pain...I will be praying for relief...and wisdom to do whatever needs to be done....

  14. JBR,

    Realize once the appointment is made, the procedure completed, the pain will go. Then you will look back and wonder why you waited so long.

    Love and Hugs ~ Kat

  15. Yeah, we are great in endurance... yet Iam ever so glad that I am getting better in it and dont wait so long anymore. Made life easier and freed energy for healing.
    Yet the dentist I am not very fond of, yet going is healing too. Love to you

  16. Thank you all for your concern and comments. You are all special!!

    Just to ease some of your minds, "I am not dying."

    One of the reasons I also went to the DDS is to find out if I had an infection and as I said in my post the tooth was not impacted just extremely sensitive and painful. No antibotics were necessary the DDS stated.

    I learned from the past about waiting too long, that is why I finally broke down and made an appt. So rest assured, I am not dying because of my tooth.

    At the risk of "being real," when I said I want the rapture to come, yes. When you are in pain anything is better to get out of the pain. I am sure you have said things a time or two. When I want to be taken home early to Glory, yes, anything to get out of the pain. Again, I am sure you have said things similar.

    Blessings! :)

  17. JBR, I'm so sorry to hear about your tooth ache!! I hope when you will read my comment you will be pain free! I had one like that 4 years ago. I was up all night almost hitting my head in the wall. I saw several dentist, none of them would help (I don't get it ...) finally I found one that would not only help but safe my tooth. When we are in physical pain, our mental is affected as well. So much more than we think... hang on my dear, nothing last forever and you will be ok again. As hard as it is, stay there where you are knowing it will be ok again ... sending love and hugs!

  18. Sweetie God will direct you the right path for your dental issues. Praying for you and sorry you're in pain.

  19. I wear my feelings on my sleeve, JBR, and if you can re-read what you wrote, it WAS alarming, to me anyway. I am happy to know that you were just venting your pain. Sometimes, I don't understand the direction from which you come ... still worry for you as a mother hen! Praying you will be fixed up and feeling better very soon.


  20. hethatsows8July 22, 2010

    JBR completly understand where your coming from. I've had bad experiences in the past with people I thought I could trust. HOping you'll find a resolution.

  21. I can certainly relate. especially with dentists. I finally found one who is so gentle and kind that I go on a regular basis now. I still am afraid, but not terrified, if that makes any sense. Now I need to go to an eye doctor and I am putting THAT off. Goodness gracious. When will we learn to care for ourselves? God bless!

  22. hi jbr :) i'm sorry it's been awhile since i came by your blog. i go through phases of being an avid blogger and reader, and other times withdraw from the computer. but when i'm away it doesn't mean i don't care. i'm wishing you well from afar, even when i don't have time or energy to catch up on yours and other blogs.

    but gosh, what a post to read as i get back around to catching up on the bloggers i care about. i'm so sorry you've been in terrible pain!!! you poor thing.

    i completely understand your feelings about doctors and dentists. it's still hard for me, but practice has made it better. i try to make sure to do my regular check ups though. i found the longer i waited to care for myself, the worse my anxiety became. so even though i'm still anxious, as long as i go once/twice a year, whatever is recommended, it's less scary for me. though everyone has different levels of fear and discomfort, and yours might be more intense than mine. i certainly don't mean to be advicey, just thought i'd share what had helped me...

    whatever happens, i hope you do feel better soon. you deserve to :)

    take good care~ i'll be wishing you well!

  23. Oohhh, been there. Better get that taken care of, in case the rapture is held up...

  24. i cant stand the dentist...but God gave them to us for a reason...part of faith is letting him figure out the help we need. make that call...had to have one shattered that i neglected...would not wish that on anyone...

  25. Take care of yourself. I'm thinking of you.

  26. Oh, JBR, I know how you feel! I've got a tooth right now that needs to at least have a crown put on it. I just can't get myself in there to get the work done. The pain is getting to me, too.

    Maybe we can pray for strength and courage for each other and both get in there and take care of our dental needs.


  27. JBR:

    I just read through the comments here, so many good ones. I always have to laugh at Deborah... she just 'button holes it' in such a humorous few words!

    I had all 4 wisdom teeth removed at once for one reason... I did NOT want to do it 4 times!!

    Good for you... the DDS will advise on the best way and you will be SO glad it is done!!!