"Yet a time is coming
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23

My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.

Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.

Daddy let me be secure in You only!

Monday, July 26, 2010


Recovery is an on-going process. One of my biggest goals is to have my emotions go from my mind to my heart. To connect with my heart. To really be able to feel. I know this process has begun already. I am feeling much more than I did a year ago. But, there are still walls up surrounding my heart. Still fears. Still areas that are too scary to face just yet.

In seeking healing, I need to keep at it with diligence day after day. Being patient (hard hard hard), not rush the process (hard hard hard) caring and being gentle with myself (hard hard hard). Looking forward to that day when I wake up one morning and realize, "Hey, I am comfortable with who I am." Amen:

Keep practicing your recovery behaviors, even when they feel awkward, even when they haven't quite taken yet, even if you don't get it yet.

Sometimes it takes years for a recovery concept to move from our mind into our heart and soul. We need to work at recovery behaviors with the diligence, effort, and repeated practice we applied to codependent behaviors. We need to force ourselves to do things even when they don't feel natural. We need to tell ourselves we care about ourselves and can take care of ourselves even when we don't believe what we're saying.

We need to do it, and do it, and do it - day after day, year after year.

It is unreasonable to expect this new way of life to sink in overnight. We may have to "act as if" for months, years, before recovery behaviors become ingrained and natural.

Even after years, we may find ourselves, in times of stress or duress, reverting to old ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving.

We may have layers of feelings we aren't ready to acknowledge until years into our recovery. That's okay! When it's time, we will.

Do not give up! It takes time to get self-love into the core of us. It takes repeated practice. Time and experience. Lessons, lessons, and more lessons.

Then, just when we think we've arrived, we find we have more to learn.

That's the joy of recovery. We get to keep learning and growing all of our life!

Keep on taking care of yourself, no matter what. Keep on plugging away at recovery behaviors, one day at a time. Keep on loving yourself, even when it doesn't feel natural. Act as if for as long as necessary, even if that time period feels longer than necessary.

One day, it will happen. You will wake up, and find that what you've been struggling with and working so hard at and forcing yourself to do, finally feels comfortable. It has hit our soul.

Then, you go on to learn something new and better.

Today, I will plug away at my recovery behaviors, even if they don't feel natural. I will force myself to go through the motions even if that feels awkward. I will work at loving myself until I really do.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.


  1. Big, big hug. Can relate. It takes such a long time, dedication and motivation. Yet I relaise that there are more and more positive thoughts around which dont disaapear so easliy anymore. Life isnt pitchbalck anymore. I can bury old habits and slowly, ever so slowly create new habits. Unsure yet I drdge along....trying to make a stumble part of the dance.
    Thanks for passing by! I am surprised that I accepted his proposal, yet I have learned so much and he is having therapy as well as he is attending once a week a selfhelpgroup. Never thought he would. JBR, initmate relation is possible( hard, hard, hard ;-) yet possible. Love across the pond

  2. I look forward also to that day sweetie, love you.

  3. AnonymousJuly 26, 2010

    JBR the day you realize who you were created to be I believe all of heaven will be rejoicing along with us. God Bless.

  4. And knowing how much He loves us, I know He's there with you all the way as you go through this process. God bless you and protect you.

  5. JBR,I gotta work on that as well.Thank you for the reminder.

  6. I have seen you grow so much JBR. You will get there. I am continuing to work on this myself. Someday it will be here.

  7. i totally understand. that 'fake it till you make it' really works!

  8. Sweetie you're amazing. Probably not used to hearing words like that. Your continued dedication in seeking your goal is so inspiriing.

  9. AnonymousJuly 26, 2010

    Very wise. Recovery IS an ongoing process. I'm glad you're noticing that things are going in the right direction-- I've definitely noticed it too. And those walls will come down sooner or later. I guarantee it!

    Wishing you well,

  10. Melody gave great advice. We are all on a road of freedom. I feel like I get free layer by layer. It has taken years and years of seeking the Lord.

    Meanwhile, we help others as we work through it all.

    Bless you on your journey to freedom friend.