"Yet a time is coming
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23

My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.

Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.

Daddy let me be secure in You only!

Tuesday, July 27, 2010


While playing tennis yesterday I ended up twisting my ankle and hitting the hard pavement full force with my body as I went down. I had no clue this was going to happen. I quickly got up feeling no affects at the time. My tennis partner although was concerned. I assured her that I was okay. I felt okay. We continued to play. Little did I know a few hours later how un-okay I really was. The pain settled into all areas of my body. Swollen, cut and bruised in areas that I thought were not affected by hitting the pavement hard. I WILL BE OK.

I only give you this illustration because that is how it is when we are in denial.

I was just like this. We hide our emotional pain. We try and brush it away. Stuff it. Too painful to face. Go on like there is nothing wrong. We seek alternatives to our pain, i.e. drugs, alcohol, promiscuity, isolation, cutting, eating disorders, denial, etc. Only later on in life do we then find out just how hard we have hit the pavement. When things begin to unravel. We cannot understand why we are in so much pain, miserable, bruised and swollen. Our devices are not working for us anymore. That is the time many of us do seek help. But, also many go through life in pain and never tend to their injuries.


  1. Hoping you have complete recovery from your fall! A great analogy.

  2. Dear One, how are oyu by today.? I can relate so much. For so long I didnt feel physical pain. During my walk it rained for quite some time and I had to fight the mud for some days. So deep that I got stuck, fall sidewards into the mud and on a rock beneath. It was the first time where I truly felt pain. I was more shocked about this then my fall. For day I walked with a deeply bruised hip. Please take good care of yourself and ye, I didnt know you play tennis. Good for you. You go girl.

  3. AnonymousJuly 27, 2010

    JBR fenial is a form of repression. I look at it this way, if I don't think about it, then I don't suffer the associated stress have to deal with it. However, people engaging in denial can pay a high cost in terms of the psychic energy needed to maintain the denial state.I think children find denial easier, as with age, the ego matures and understands more about the "objective reality" it must operate within.
    Good post and I hope you feel better soon. God Bless.

  4. ok, first...how much pain are you still in from the fall?

    and yes, its easy to swallow our feelings, keep a good face, carry on...being more than conquorers...when you are really in pain...

  5. AnonymousJuly 27, 2010

    Sorry to hear about the pain you are in because of the fall...



  6. Sweetie you've been through the mill lately haven't you? Praying your injury is not to serious. I agree good analogy.

  7. This is a good object lesson...just sorry you were hurt...hope you mend quickly!

  8. Hey JBR, that sounded painful! Amazing how a fall to the ground can cause injuries throughout our body.
    Also great tie in with your points about how denial catches up with us. I tried to push past traumas into the background and ignore them, but they all caught up with me later and I unraveled too.
    I praise the Lord for gentling healing those bruises and restoring me.

  9. AnonymousJuly 27, 2010

    Firstly, oh my goodness! I'm glad you're okay. I'm sorry you got hurt though. Feel better soon.

    Secondly, that's a great analogy. Very true. I feel like I am finally trying to tend to my injuries right now and it's HARD! It's so tempting to go back to denial.

    Wishing you well,

  10. Yes a great analogy, we do hide stuff. Hope your ankle gets better

  11. First I hope you ankle gets better soon. Second this really is so true of life. We figure if we ignore the injury it will go a way. Deep injuries seldom heal without proper care. Thanks for sharing.

  12. Once I fell down the basement steps, and had a bruise the size of a large pizza. Ouch! I totally feel for you. But I also like how you picked yourself up and brushed yourself off, and even made a Bible lesson out of it! Good for you!

  13. AnonymousJuly 27, 2010

    I,m grateful that i read this about your pain, i stubbled over this blog and am glad I did. I too have felt much pain latly its like a train thats going down the track and looses its grip because there was a rough area that has not been treated for the train to continue, until it is grinded down and sanded the path will not be smoothe. thank god you are where you are because the journey continues as it should be. go through the pain it too will evole and subside in time. thank you for your blog.

  14. excellent analogy. i understand.... even further, i'd get up, feeling the pain, but shame and embaressment would propel me to say i'm okay 'til i was alone to lick my wounds...

  15. AnonymousJuly 27, 2010

    feeling guilty and full of fear would always play apart in my pain because i had felt i needed to be stronger and better that i wasn,t weak fear would say don,t look this way its going to hurt but its not near what i believed it to be. once i moved through the fear and processed it as it truly is no more and no less i was able to see my pain wasnt any worst then anyone elses and not any less ten anyone elses it just is what it is.

  16. AnonymousJuly 27, 2010

    Denial is such a bad boy in todays society. That's why marriages fail children leave home.

  17. AnonymousJuly 27, 2010

    Going through the pain to get to the other side is acknowledging that theres something wrong , the signs are there when were ready to see them i believe god has his own time table and knows when we are ready, because he is there with us every step of the way shaping our lives as it should be its not to hurt us but to free us. he is not a punisher because i mess up, he loves me no matter what and knows i,m human, i do my best at what ever the task is at hand and leave the results to him. i lost achild 4yrs ago and i,m still going through the grief, i dont know how long it will last but when i,m crying i,m surrendering my pain and grief to him so i can heal from my wounds. some run deep right to my core, i continue on with this journey. every day is not the same, today is a good day for me i dont know about tomorrow or really the next few minutes im ok now thank you for allowing me to share a part of me with you.

  18. AnonymousJuly 27, 2010

    ps i need to clarify myself with pain. when i said there is no pain less or more i was wrong but to not compare my pain with ypur pain is what i wanted to make clear, and yes it could be worst.

  19. Great illustration...and so true. Denial only hides the problem and ends up making it worse.
    Hope you heal quickly.
    Hugs and blessings,

  20. You are right! That is exactly what we do. We try to push the pain down with SOMETHING instead of dealing with the source of pain.

    I am so sorry you fell. Ouch! I pray you're feeling better.


  21. Praying you recover very soon.

  22. I pray you did not hurt yourself too much. Denial is a part of my daily life. I stuff my feelings down in hopes of not feeling them.

    I am working on it with my therapist.
    Life is a journey.

    I wish I could still play tennis.