"Yet a time is coming
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23

My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.

Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.

Daddy let me be secure in You only!

Monday, July 12, 2010



I felt prompted by the Holy Spirit to post this.

Someone needs encouragement besides me.

I believe the hardest and delicate part of my journey to healing has been the sexual abuse from my older brother. The more I have been open to the Holy Spirit in this area, the more He is revealing some deeper issues into my sexuality. He is not rushing this process of healing though.

The extent of damage both emotionally and physically to me has been tremendous.

Emotionally my mind still has trouble wrapping itself fully around the extent of God's wonderful plan for a healthy sex life within the confines of marriage. My idea of love has been compromised. Will I ever be capable of love?

Physically because of the physical pain that my little body endured from the abuse which resulted in the unbelievable fear, confusion and panic later on in life that would rise up in me when I would be in an intimate relationship. Even having a female gynaecologist did not reduce any of my anxieties, fears and pain.

The excerpt below taken from All About Life Challenges (a Christian organization) does share how we as survivors can one day become overcomers. The author also stated the process to healing does take time. Sometimes years. Yeah, did not like hearing that. But worth it in the end! Because of hope in God!

As a sexual abuse survivor, you may be asking, can I really move past just surviving and have a life worth living? The answer is YES! YES you can!

Yes absolutely, survivors of sexual abuse can have hope and healing! However, as a survivor, it does not happen overnight. Sexual abuse causes physiological complications that need to be dealt with.

As a sexual abuse survivor, you have been through a lot. Learning to live as a new creation is like a toddler learning to walk. The toddler takes it one step at a time.

If the need or void is not dealt with proactively, the abuse often survives in the survivor. Shadows of the abuse live on in various forms, because the abuse victim looks for satisfaction in the wrong ways or places. Having never known genuine love, the abuse survivor can only imitate love in return.

Physically, we remain injured and will carry the scars as long as we live. But God promises He is there and will never leave us. "…Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you" (Hebrews 13:5). He is there when our minds recall situations, and when our mind, will, and emotions are in darkness and despair. When we suffer mental anguish and condemnation, God is there.

As sexual abuse survivors, we'll find it difficult to reconcile thoughts and feelings regarding love and acceptance. Because of our past, we'll know feelings that combat, tear, and rip the heart and soul apart. No one should have to experience what we have been through. But there is hope.

Because God sent His Son to die for us (John 3:16), we can know that we have value and worth. As a sexual abuse survivor, this concept is hard to wrap the mind around - but it's necessary if we're going to move from a survivor to an overcomer.

The essence of overcoming is realizing that love and acceptance are essential to our healing. We can't do this on our own - in fact, it's impossible! Matthew 19:26 says, "…With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."

The main source of help for those who have been abused sexually as a child is God. An adult recovering from sexual abuse says, "God is the one who ultimately loves and cares for us. He is our rock and our shield; He is our peace in times of trouble. Those of us who are adults recovering from child sexual abuse can remember that God can calm the storm of hurt. He can help us realize it is not our fault. Psalm 121:1-2 has been a help to me: 'I lift up my eyes to the hills -- where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.'"


  1. God bless you precious lady! I can't imagine what you are overcoming! I've had my own issues from childhood and it has taken many years to work through my "trivial" stuff.

    I am believing with you that God will complete the work He has begun in you. I DO believe you will be able to love because you have the Author of Love living in your beautiful heart. <3

    Keep moving forward Sister!


  2. The effect my sexual abuse has had lasting effect on my life. I ended up in an abusive marriage. I could not see things were not "normal". I believe God has started your healing sooner than it is happened for me. I believe God will help you. I believe it is far to late in my life to ever know love from a Godly man. I do believe you will have this in your life. ((((JBR)))))

  3. the only thing that ever helped me feel safe was God...and even then it took me a long time to really trust Him. Healing is such a long journey...but I'm so thankful He has been on the road with me...and with you too JBR...stay strong....and know you're really making a difference....

  4. AnonymousJuly 12, 2010

    I can relate to pretty much all you have said in this post. I wasn't sexually abused as a child but sexually assaulted twice as a teenager, and I feel the same feelings you do. I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone. And that I think you are an "overcomer."

    Wishing you well,

  5. as with A.A.with God all things ar possible.Hugs.

  6. Wonderful post. God is our safe place and healer. And when the memories return, we can run into His strong arms. And with each heart touch, He once again restores and renews.

  7. Praying for peace and strength for you dear sis, love you.

  8. I can't imagine JBR....all the pain...But I love the way you pointed the healing that comes from Him. Blessings.

  9. JBR, surely it takes years. It took us years to develop our dysfunctional pattern too. They didnt happen over night and we kept improving them...
    You once were a victim, now a survivor. TBH, I do not care fo the word overcomer, I prefer winner. We are all winners in having come so far. Love to you.

  10. AnonymousJuly 13, 2010

    It does get easier. Been there. Knowing time is involved there's a commitment involved. Sending you positive thoughts your way.

  11. stuck-in-the-middleJuly 13, 2010

    Hang in there JBR.

  12. AnonymousJuly 13, 2010

    JBR what you've gone through hasn't been easy. Nothing isolates us from healthy human relationships with people and God probably like sexual abuse. Never being sexually abused myself, I'm just assuming. You continue to be a shining light in a dark place. God Bless.

  13. JBR I can only wish you that no matter how long your healing will take that it makes you come stronger by the end, stronger and happier, that you come out shining your beauty ... love to you

  14. Sweetie I am agreeing with what's been said that you're a light in a dark place. You share much for many to hear and learn from.

  15. Thank you for this encouraging message. Truly, we can't do this alone, and I can't do it on my own power. I need God. Hugs and healing to you, my dear friend.

  16. Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Gretchen Paules and I am the Administrative Director for a newly formed nonprofit called the Let Go...Let Peace Come In Foundation. Our mission at LGLPCI is to help heal and support adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse worldwide. We are actively seeking adult survivors who would be willing to post their childhood photo & caption, their story, or their creative expressions to our website www.letgoletpeacecomein.org. We also have a youtube video that can be viewed at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4PDC03Gl2k. By uniting survivors from around the globe we hope to provide a stronger and more powerful voice to those survivors who have not yet found the courage to speak out or have been cast aside with disbelief. Through increased awareness

    I am writing to you today to ask you to please consider posting to our website. It is through the support of courageous survivors like you that we will succeed in our effort to help one survivor at a time. If you have any questions please feel free to e-mail me directly at gretchen@letgoletpeacecomein.org. Together we can; together we should; together we NEED to stand up and be counted.

    Warmest Regards,
    Gretchen Paules
    Administrative Director
    Let Go...Let Peace Come In Foundation
    630 W. Germantown Pike, Suite 180
    Plymouth Meeting, PA 19462

  17. Your strength and heart overwhelm me! I pray that many survivors of sexual abuse stumble across your blog and are blessed in huge ways!

  18. I'm back from the convention and it was a fabulous experience.

    As for healing - where there is breath and God there is hope that all will be as God originally intended. You will get there.


  19. thank you so much for sharing this...i work with many kids that have experienced sexual abuse, particularly at the hands of their family...your sotry will make a difference in the lives of others...

  20. AnonymousJuly 13, 2010

    My eyes are wide! Your honesty blwos me away. All for a good cause I'm sure. Keep it up helping othes who suffer from tthe same.

  21. That except says it truly.
    May you feel God's arms wrap around you so that you feel safe and loved.

    Blessings and hugs,

  22. thanks for the informative and comforting post. xx janie