"Yet a time is coming
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23

My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.

Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.

Daddy let me be secure in You only!

Monday, September 06, 2010


I love the quote below taken from the book Beyond Codependency:

"Some of my feelings have been stored so long they have freezer burn."

Rather than have me elaborate on the devotional below, I will let it speak for itself.

Although I will say this, we all can relate somehow. Pain is inevitable. It takes courage for us who are facing our most frightening fears. To come face to face with our abuse. To let the numbness we have had for many years thaw out. Knowing we are going to feel the pain. Something we have avoided for so many years! But, only for a short while as we work through it. It is okay to feel. You will see.

Let God heal your heart as He is healing mine. There has to come a time where you will have to let go and trust. I am still in the process of fully letting go and trusting. I know it is hard. But,that is the only way to complete recovery and freedom:

There are many sources of pain in our life. Those of us recovering from adult children and codependency issues frequently have a cesspool of unresolved pain from the past. We have feelings, sometimes from early childhood to the present, that either hurt too much to feel or that we had no support and permission to deal with.

There are other inevitable sources of pain in our life too. There is the sadness and grief that comes when we experience change, even good change, as we let go of one part of our life, and begin our journey into the new.

There is pain in recovery, as we begin allowing ourselves to feel while dropping our protective shield of denial.

There is the pain that leads and guides us into better choices for our future.

We have many choices about how to stop this pain. We may have experimented with different options. Compulsive and addictive behaviors stop pain - temporarily. We may have used alcohol, other drugs, relationships, or sex to stop our pain.

We may talk compulsively or compulsively focus on other people and their needs as a way to avoid or stop our pain.

We may use religion to avoid our feelings.

We may resort to denial of how we are feeling to stop our pain.

We may stay so busy that we don't have time to feel. We may use money, exercise, or food to stop our pain.

We have many choices. To survive, we may have used some of these options, only to find that these were Band Aids - temporary pain relievers that did not solve the problem. They did not really stop our pain; they postponed it.

In recovery, there is a better choice about how we may stop pain. We can face it and feel it. When we are ready, with our Higher Power's help, we can summon the courage to feel the pain, let it go, and let the pain move forward - into a new decision, a better life.

We can stop the behaviors we are doing that cause pain, if that's appropriate. We can make a decision to remove ourselves from situations that cause repeated, similar pain. We can learn the lesson our pain is trying to teach us.

If we are being pelted by pain, there is a lesson. Trust that idea. Something is being worked out in us. The answer will not come from addictive or other compulsive behaviors; we will receive the answer when we feel our feelings.

It takes courage to be willing to stand still and feel what we must feel. Sometimes, we have what seems like endless layers of pain inside us. Pain hurts. Grief hurts. Sadness hurts. It does not feel good. But neither does denying what is already there; neither does living a lifetime with old and new pockets of pain packed, stored, and stacked within.

It will only hurt for a while, no longer than necessary, to heal us. We can trust that if we must feel pain, it is part of healing, and it is good. We can become willing to surrender to and accept the inevitable painful feelings that are a good part of recovery.

Go with the flow, even when the flow takes us through uncomfortable feelings. Release, freedom, healing, and good feelings are on the other side.

Today, I am open and willing to feel what I need to feel. I am willing to stop my compulsive behaviors. I am willing to let go of my denial. I am willing to feel what I need to feel to be healed, healthy, and whole.

Hazelden Foundation


  1. This cause me to tear up...denial, avoidance of the reality of my life, fantasy and addictions have been my way of coping. I'm learning how to feel and allow the things in my life to be integrated...painful process.


  2. pain is inevitable...and perhaps at time it even provides more for us than we are willing to admit...denying pain we only deny our reality which puts us ina very scary place..

  3. Courage, numbness, inevitable pain, thawing.

    Innocuous words that are amazingly suitable.

    Thanks for visiting my blog and commenting at a time of need.

  4. That's a really powerful quote. It's going to keep me thinking all day.

    Enjoy your Labor Day!

    Wishing you well,

  5. JBR you said it in the word TRUST. That's what the journey recovery is all about. You can't do it alone. Many think they can. God must be involved in your healing and you must be available. Great words today. Happy Labor Day. God Bless.

  6. Yes the saying, pelted by pain. Is true, with our lives, at different times...

  7. yes, that is when feelings become a resource.

  8. Plopped right out of heaven
    and into my lap this morning!
    Freezer burn!!!!
    Perfect picture.
    Time to clean out my freezer
    a little more....way in the back
    where the lids have popped off
    some of the old containers.
    SO liberating!
    Thanks for sharing and bravo
    on your bravery as you
    stay the course, JBR.
    Hope you're able to feel
    the Father's smile today,

  9. I needed this this morning...thanks for sharing...blessings on your week...

  10. For so many years it was easier to pretend nothing happened. That caused many problems. By not facing my own pain I would end up in one bad situation after another. Learning to deal with it and heal from the abuse is the answer.

  11. what a great post! we try to avoid pain
    so much, it is exhausting.

    it is sometimes better to just yield to it
    and ride it out.

  12. Great devotional, and packed full of truth, JBR. Denying and avoiding the pain only delays it, makes us numb. But to be healed, to go forward and grow and mature, we need to face it, feel, and receive God's healing touch as He helps us through the issues.
    God bless

  13. Love the freezer burn quote. I can relate so much to this post. If only pain went away just by ignoring it. The hardest thing to do is the only thing that will get you past it and that is to face it and to feel it. Thanks for sharing this post. God Bless.