Shame has been a resident inside me for most of my life. I am in the process of evicting it. It is a stubborn tenant and does not want to move.
Both my parents, friends and teachers even shamed me while growing up. Why I could not do better or be better. What's Your Problem JBR, are you lazy? Behave!
Even before coming to God, I thought He was that Great Dictator in the sky. Sitting high and mighty on His throne. Even after accepting Him years later, my views remained skewed. I believed I was this bad person. A person that better be good. A person who was shamed. A person who would not live up to the expectations of God, my parents or others. A person who would then be judged and criticized. A person who believed she was a burden. A person who needed to be perfect to be accepted and loved.
As the devotional shares below, the Psalmists rejected the lies. I am in the process of rejecting the lies, evicting them, send them packing. The Lord will replaces the lies with His glory. Will take time. But, He will remove the thoughts and feelings of shame, rejection, neglect, abandonment, people pleasing, fears, hurt, abuse, anger, hate, etc. and in their place He will put His love.
"Many are saying of me, "God will not deliver him." But you are a shield around me, O Lord; you bestow glory on me and lift up my head." Psalm 3:2-3
We receive messages about ourselves from the important people in our lives. We internalize these messages and carry them with us, repeating them to ourselves as if they were gospel truth. When the messages are shaming messages then the internal chorus chants "You are not lovable. You are beyond repair. Even God cannot help you."
This chorus is a chorus of lies. The psalmist rejects these lies. And we need to begin to reject these lies as well.
The Lord is a "shield around me", the psalmist says. A shield protects. It comes between the blows of an enemy and a person's vulnerable places. Most shields are small and can only protect a limited area from attack. But the shield which the Lord provides completely surrounds us. We can let this shield protect us from these attacking messages.
The psalmist also says that the Lord "bestows glory on me and lifts up my head". Heavy burdens of shame, neglect and abuse have bowed our heads. The Lord listens, pays attention and cares about us. God's love counters the voices of our internal shame-chorus so that we can lift our heads. God replaces our shame with glory. It is a picture of a ragged, neglected child whose head is bowed and shoulders are bent. A king sees the child and goes to him. The king gently lifts the child's chin until his eyes meet his own smiling eyes. He asks the child to come home and live as royalty with him. The child is loved, honored, protected.
You are the child. God lifts your head and bestows glory.
God help me to stop listening to lies about you.
Help me to stop listening to lies about me.
Be a shield around me.
Bestow glory.
Lift up my head.
Amen.
Copyright Dale and Juanita Ryan
SO good JBR. I needed to hear this today. Thank you for posting.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing this.
ReplyDeletenice. not 'seeing' God..we often took to others to vreate our image of him...and when our fathers are flawed its easy to project that on the father...
ReplyDeleteGod has become my best friend, today & I know how much He means to me because of constant reminders like yours. Thank you. :)
ReplyDeleteYou go girl! Be strong in the Lord's mighty power! Not by yours but by His might and power! Bye bye "shame"... Take care and God bless.
ReplyDeleteGood for you for evicting shame! You deserve a life free from it and I'm glad you're taking the steps to get there.
ReplyDeleteWishing you well,
NOS
Great job JBR!
ReplyDeleteWOnderful!! I tell myself every day, "God is a kind loving and forgiving Father. It is not what others think of you but what HE thinks of me". It helps in the rough spots. Hugs. Tammy
ReplyDeleteKick shame to the curb...
ReplyDeleteGod loves you just the way you are. You don't have to be good or perfect for God. Look in the mirror and say three times.."God loves me just the way I am."
He sees all of you and is not disgusted or judgemental. This was a great post today and I am so very happy for you and your journey.
Peace and Love,
Pam
You are becoming
ReplyDeletequite the psalmist yourself, JBR.
I so enjoy and appreciate
your David-like heart:)
-Jennifer
i haven't visited your sight in so long. one too many bad choices made again but God's grace and His miraculous intervention came through, even though i didn't deserve it. i am very grateful.
ReplyDeletealthough still seemed to be plagued with the depression and anxiety, God will see me through this also. i don't "feel" His presence as i did at one time, and i do not believe God tests us, but i continue to go before him each day believing he loves me and forgives me. i often wonder if when i continue to go to Him if there is this waiting period to see if i truly believe He is my helper in time of need, and still believe He is there with me holding my hand, not needing to put my hands in his nail scarred hands to believe.
this blog resonated with me in such a huge way. i loved what you wrote about God being a shield around you to protect us from those negative messages. it has and continues to be a difficult process to practice and believe this for me. i for one envision God handing me a large key when those lies start to come in, which God hands it to me and i lock that large steel door of those lies and hand it back to Him for when i need it, and make the decision to believe the TRUTH. thanks again for this incredible blog. miss reading your experiences and have missed you. :) Janie