"Yet a time is coming
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23

My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.

Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.

Daddy let me be secure in You only!

Friday, September 03, 2010


The spiritual world was alive and well during the night.

First I could not fall asleep. My mind would not shut down. I was hot even though I had the a/c on. Then, finally when I was able to fall asleep I was plagued with constant disturbing dreams. Physically exhausted by morning. Evil is ten times worse during the night!

This is all so very new to me these days. I am not used to this kind of attack. Usually the enemy's line of defense takes place when I am awake. But, now uses more of my subconscious. He is changing his tactics because he probably finds more resistance from me in my waking hours.

Lord help me to be constantly mindful to take my thoughts captive.

This is a battle I cannot do alone. The Lord and prayer are part of the plan. Daddy, please show me the lies what I need to see. Help me to understand. I give You the permission to enter my most deepest pain into the center of my core to reveal to me the lies the enemy has led me to believe about my past, my abuse, about myself. I need You more than ever.

I need to really discipline my thought life. This is very hard. Disciplining myself by taking my thoughts captive is going to be well worth the pain though. I do not look forward to the pain. Who would?

Taking my thoughts captive is learning to say no to the attacks and fiery darts of the enemy. It is learning to say yes to God’s way of victory, peace, and yes even joy. Hallelujah.

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things." Philippians 4:8

"The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold." Psalm 18:2.

"For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds;" 2 Corinthians 10:4


  1. I really love that picture.....Very powerful!


  2. the night can be a really tough time...over the years some of my hardest attack have come late in teh night...

  3. Great scriptures. Fight the good fight girl :)

  4. This post speaks to my night last night. I don't know if it was evil attacking me or just plain obsessive thinking on my part, but I woke about two hours before I needed to and never did get back to sleep. Oh well. When I have had a night like that I usually sleep well the next night. :)

    Blessings and prayers your way.

  5. Stay strong, JBR. You're doing so well!

    Wishing you well,

  6. Beautiful and haunting at the same time. I am in the same place with dreams, just a different tragedy. Warm safe hugs to you. Tammy

  7. I have the same problem with disturbing dreams as well. It can be exhausting! Awareness is an essential part of the battle. Good to see how God is working in you.

  8. Phil. 4:4-8 and 2 Cor. 10: 3-5 are my 2010 scriptures....There are days I will find myself walking around the house and just speaking these scriptures out loud, or within my spirit..fighting those negative attacks that are plummeting my mind over and over..I find that when I do this..'the peace of God which transcends all understanding' DOES guard my heart and mind..it's truly miraculous and amazing...I'm in such awe!! I just LOVE that picture...POWERFUL!!!!

  9. Tell me about it girl. I know. It seems as though we battle a lot of the same things. I have been having really disturbing thoughts for like almost two months now and it is so hard to deal with. It does take lots of prayer and for me I had to be humble because I found myself getting angry because it came at a time when I was actually trying to get closer to God. Then the aftermath left me feeling distant from God. They attack me all day and even in my sleep as well. It is like you feel as though some evil demons tried to jump me in my sleep. Just hang in there. This is def a new attack for me, but I am trying to hold on and I do find myself being restored back to God. I will keep you in my prayers. Stay up! :o)

  10. I agree night time is the worst. It is very hard to control a racing mind. I do believe God is the answer, but sometimes it is so hard to just hold on to that faith. I think you are doing a wonderful job.

  11. JBR:

    You are right on so many levels here. Satan LOVES to hit us in the darkness, when we are the most vulnerable. He has no shame!

    But, God is also the God of our WHOLE being, conscious and subconscious, and He is able to handle all of it. Trust Him to take charge even when you aren't awake, and He will take care of your mind as well as your heart. NOTHING is outside of His power!

    Good going!


  12. Thanks for reading my blog. Regarding the night terrors - you know already some of the things to do, like pray, get up & read Scripture, maybe do some journaling. I would just add- find different ways to comfort your little girl - hold, her, sing to her, visualize having her lay on your chest or in your arms, & rock her.
    No one ever comforted us thru our traumas as a kid, so when we're reliving things, it's a great flood, a backlog of old pain.

    When I was going thru that period (it was several yrs) - sometimes the pain was so bad, that when I was walking somewhere I'd have to 'hug the sides of buildings', just to get to the end of the block!
    I worked in an office & went to 2 or 3 meetings every weekday (Alanon, ACoAs, SLAA, DA) & then lay in bed all weekend to recuperate. I shared about everything & cried continually - drove a lot of people bats, but I got better! PTL