Encouragement was hard to come by from my parents to us kids. My father was a very critical, mean spirited, and judgemental man. My mother as well along with being super controlling. Unfortunately I carry these traits as well. I am not only hard on others, but extremely hard on myself.
I do not like what I have become and the effects of my parents own brokenness had on me. But the difference here is that I am beginning to recognize their pain and how they only knew how to survive from it.
I desire to change.
Not an easy task when you lived with being criticized, shamed, controlled and judged growing up.
Many of us who have been beaten down verbally, physically, emotionally and even sexually while growing up, may find ourselves striving to be perfectionists. The challenge now for us as adults is to turn this around and desire for excellence instead.
I am learning on those days when I feel I have not accomplished my best, to try and let it go. Continue to pray for strength to do so. Ugh! Not an easy task. No, not at all.
Instead of criticizing and analyzing what I could have done better, to try again tomorrow. God gives that wonderful gift of tomorrow!
Give myself a "pat" on the back for what little JBR has attempted and accomplished thus far. Instead of beating my little one up . . . . . . to nurture her. Encourage her to try again. Tell her tomorrow is another day. Tell her she was not bad. She did good. She can laugh. She is human!
She needs to hear those words from Big JBR.
A post with feelings that I can relate to. You don't know how much this has meant to me. A life savior literally.
ReplyDeleteNOW...this was encouraging...A message my heart needed to read...Love ya!
ReplyDeleteDear JBR we learn from our parents mistakes, but we somehow can't condemn them because, they learnt it from their parents. Thank God for a little wisdom so that we can raise our children with more love and patience. Blessings.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you JBR. Thank you for being such a strong light that penetrates to many souls. Including mine. God Bless.
ReplyDeleteIntergenerational behavior is strong and stubborn, but it takes only ONE person to want to change and the whole wrong behavior becomes healed for the following generations. I know about this because I did it. My daughter will never know what it was like for me as a child - even tho she's heard the words. You are stronger than you think, it's wonderful that you are changing your life.
ReplyDeleteComing from an abusive environment, I recognize the signs in myself too, but the difference for you, me, and our abusers is that, we try to change and be better..
ReplyDeleteYou're an courageous person!
Very wise! Sometimes we have to be our own cheerleaders and it's not easy. But you're right-- tomorrow is there for us to try again.
ReplyDeleteWishing you well,
NOS
Cut little JBR some slack big JBR!!! :) Glad to see you can congratulate yourself on your tremendous progress!!! Giving praise!
ReplyDelete((((((JBR))))))
ReplyDeleteI love the quote about courage on the top of this post! And courage is something you have in abundance, JBR. I read it in your posts everyday. You have a fierce determination to overcome the past despite the obstacles in your way and I believe you WILL triumph over it. You are called to victory in Christ. It is his promise to those who trust in him.
ReplyDeleteThis girl is listening to you too. You are very wise.
ReplyDelete