HOMEWORK DONE?

I was a poor student in school. Knowing now my upbringing, shame, guilt and lack of self worth had a lot to do with it. Most of the time I was in my la-la land to stuff my emotional pain deep inside. My attention span was none. Something out of the ordinary to this day really has to interest me to keep me interested.

I was placed in remedial everything. From reading, history, science, math, English. Only class I excelled in was gym. Most of the time I did not do my homework. Or I copied or cheated (sad to say) from someone. Was hard for me to discipline myself. I was a very sad and depressed teenager. I struggled just to get by and having to deal with what awaited at home daily. A house full of depression and pain where no one talked. Had no friends. A life of isolation. I barely squeaked by graduating high school, right down to that last moment when one of my classes with a grade of D was finally accepted enough for me to receive my High School Diploma.

Life is full of struggles....

Until we learn to stop struggling, the situations we are dealing with will remain. Until we finish the homework, the lessons will be there. If we can keep in mind the purpose of our struggles in life is for us to grow and to make a better us and that we have the best Tutor who is more powerful than us to help us along then no problem will be too much for us to handle.

The struggles that keep popping up we learn in the devotional below are not really new. Just another aspect of them. The tears and emotional turmoil I am experiencing while I type this post stirring up some bad memories, is just another form of a struggle that I need to work through on my journey:

No struggle we have is really new. It's another shade of the struggle that plagued us last week or perhaps last year. And we'll stumble again and again until we learn to quit struggling. The trying situations at work, or the personality type that irritates us, will always exist. But when we've come to accept as good and growth-enhancing all situations and all persons, we'll sense the subtle absence of struggle. We'll realize that the person we couldn't tolerate has become a friend. The situation we couldn't handle is resolved, forever.

The lessons we need to learn keep presenting themselves, until we've finished the homework. If we sense a struggle today, we can look at it as an assignment, one that is meant for our growth. We can remember that our struggles represent our opportunities to grow. Fortunately, the program has given us a tutor. We have a willing teacher to help us. We need to move on, to be open to other assignments. No problem will be too much for us to handle.

I will enjoy my role as student today. I will be grateful for all opportunities to grow. They make possible my very special contribution in this life.

Hazelden Foundation