HIDDENNESS

The excerpt below is posted all around my apartment and even at my work station. It is a constant reminder how tough hiddenness can be. At the same time what a wonderful quality to our spiritual life.

Even after coming off on Tuesday with doing my devotional for the company, and feeling pretty darn good about myself, knowing very well I could not have done what I did without the Holy Spirit, I am still reminded how frail and human I am.

Sure the accolades felt good. And the encouragement was welcomed. And I am grateful. But....depending on people's opinions and responses to me is NOT what I desire to seek after as my source to life. To make me feel worthy. To make me feel good about myself. Too painful. People hurt. People are broken. People will ALWAYS let you down! No matter how good you think someone is. We are human. We have flaws.

I desire my hiddenness to be a place of intimacy with my God. To keep my focus on Him. He will never let me down. Sure,it is hard to trust. Very hard. Especially for those of us who have been ignored, rejected, abandoned and shamed in life. I want to experience God's love. I want to experience the Joy He promises. Human's I gather can only give so much love. I am not an expert in this area. We cannot depend on one another to fill that void of intimacy. Only Christ can. Only hiding in Him can fill that void in going before Him with our pain and praises.

I mediate on the below daily. I hope you can be blessed by the words as well:

Hiddenness is an essential quality of the spiritual life. Solitude, silence, ordinary tasks, being with people without great agendas, sleeping, eating, working, playing … all of that without being different from others, that is the life that Jesus lived and the life he asks us to live.

It is in hiddenness that we, like Jesus, can increase “in wisdom, in stature, and in favour with God and with people” (Luke 2:51). It is in hiddenness that we can find a true intimacy with God and a true love for people.

Even during his active ministry, Jesus continued to return to hidden places to be alone with God. If we don’t have a hidden life with God, our public life for God cannot bear fruit.

One of the reasons that hiddenness is such an important aspect of the spiritual life is that it keeps us focused on God. In hiddenness we do not receive human acclamation, admiration, support, or encouragement. In hiddenness we have to go to God with our sorrows and joys and trust that God will give us what we most need.

In our society we are inclined to avoid hiddenness. We want to be seen and acknowledged. We want to be useful to others and influence the course of events. But as we become visible and popular, we quickly grow dependent on people and their responses and easily lose touch with God, the true source of our being. Hiddenness is the place of purification. In hiddenness we find our true selves.

by Henri Nouwen