"Yet a time is coming
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23

My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.

Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.

Daddy let me be secure in You only!

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

WHOSE EXPECTATIONS?

When I read the below devotional this morning it coincided with what my pastor said this past Sonday on how a lot of us wear different masks in order to feel good and to be accepted.

He also went on to say how there is so much freedom if we would take off our masks. Expose the real you. Do no worry what others think. Know that you do not have to get your self worth from others in order to feel good and be accepted. Your self worth comes from Christ alone. Sure, we should encourage one another in a healthy way. But, do not depend on one another to make us feel worthy.

More and more each day, I am getting closer to having Christ be the center of my life. Will take time though. I still find myself valuing what others think of me. Trying to gain their approval.

My dependency on having people like me was very important through out most my life. Growing up in a critical and judgmental atmosphere which brought tremendous shame, guilt and condemnation, made me strive to be someone I was not. Be a plastic printout. I became what I thought others wanted me to be. I did not want to be wrong. I wanted to please. I did not want people to see my flaws. My pain. Did not want to be criticized or God forbid make a mistake. Show my imperfections. I did not want to be HURT or laughed at. I just thought I would be accepted if I was this perfect person I pretended to be.

I was never ever the real me. I had no opinion, no boundaries, no say in anything. I let people control me. Walk over me. Put me down. Shame me. Use me. Criticize me. I would always agree with the other party or knew them well enough to suggest what "they" wanted. Never what I wanted. The pain of all the put downs, sneers, shaming fingers pointing at me, took their toll on my belief system.

Things are beginning to change now. Hallelujah! I have my days where I still find myself wearing a mask, usually the incident is quick lived and realized by the "real me" and then I adjust. I am not really a plastic printout any more. What you see of me now, is the real deal.


“We are not trying to please men but God, who tests our hearts.” 1 Thessalonians 2:4

Pleasing God is possible because he has no unrealistic expectations. He just expects us to be the person he created us to be. This is not only feasible, but reachable because it is natural. When we try to please people, we are attempting to accomplish the impossible. How do we decide which human being to satisfy or placate — a parent, a child, the boss, our spouse, a friend, the pastor, a neighbor, a sibling? Each of these persons has a different image of us and often their expectations are not consistent with our personality, gifts or talents. Trying to be everything others want is a crazy-maker.

Cooperating with our Creator to become the person he planned us to be, will release us to freedom. God knows what is in our hearts. When he “tests” our hearts, he brings forth what is best in us. When we allow God to guide in the quest to become our true selves, we please him. He understands us and expects us only to fulfill our God-given talents and gifts. This is a natural process of spiritual, mental, social, and emotional growth. Just for today are you willing to cooperate with

Lord, I want to please you by becoming the genuine “me” you had in mind when I was born. Instruct me.

Copyright 2011 Joan C. Webb


14 comments:

  1. Amen Sister! What a great message/reminder for all of us!

    I have told you before how my Mom can be negative. Yesterday I showed her some pictures of my daughter playing on a playground. The pictures showed such joy, freedom, innocence ... Do you know what my Mom said? "Her hair looks like it needs brushing" she said. I knew in the pit of my stomach she would say something about her wind-tasseled hair and she did. That fear from childhood sensing her disapproval was there. Blech! I can't stand it.

    God set us free.

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  2. I used to be this same way--thinking my self-worth came from people and when I eventually came to the point in my life and realized how wrong I was, it was amazingly freeing!! I am here to please God and do as He wills me.

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  3. You are truly growing in Christ. I am so proud of you!

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  4. Great post. I am right there with you. We need to live life to please God. God bless you.

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  5. That picture is too triggering for me. But, I'm here to say hello and give you some hugs. ((((((((JBR))))))))

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  6. I like it when you share a particular devotional that ties up with your own spiritual growth. Seeing your courage and strength also inspires me as well. May you remain strong in His mighty power JBR! God bless.

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  7. Good post JBR!When we let people pull our strings we get tied up..I am happy you liked my geese and duck photos! (:

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  8. Gosh, you should write a book, im serious
    your words hit home all the time to me
    I have a mask that hides my depression and sometimes it is so hard

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  9. Amen. I love the real you. Stay YOU. :)

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  10. Hey, I just came across your blog by doing a bit of blog-surfing, and I'm glad I did! I've added myself as your newest follower, and I hope you'll check out my Christian devotional site as well: www.nocondemnation81.blogspot.com

    Have a blessed day!

    In Christ,
    Dakota

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  11. I believe I can never completely please others, so pleasing God is one of my main goals!!! Wonderful post!!!

    God's Blessings to you!!!

    Lon

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  12. You are getting stronger each day! It's such a process to really learn that God has got it covered! I for one am a slow learner on some of these things. Keep moving!! You're doing great! :)

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  13. That's amazing, JBR! Being yourself is no easy feat. I remember one of my therapists once telling me that we can't rely on others to tell us who we are or what we are worth because others come and go and change and are not reliable enough to entrust with something so important. It sounds like you are relying less and less on others for your self-worth. Good for you!

    Wishing you well,
    NOS

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  14. Yep, that was me too! I had no idea until about 2 years ago that I was just a 'people pleaser'. I did nothing for myself & I never spoke up about anything regarding myself. Nope, never! Now I stand up for myself, in a respectful way of course :-) and I give my opinions and tell people when I don't agree with them. Wow... that never happened a few years ago. We all come some very far!!! So glad we have taken off the masks! :-) Great post!!!!! Thank you!!

    Hugs,
    Coreen xoxoxo

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