BIG GIRL RESPONSIBILITIES

When I read this devotional this morning, Boom I could relate.

This is how it was in my household growing up. My mum would end up doing mainly everything for me. My opinion never mattered. My desires were squashed. Either I did not do "things" to her liking; her irrational fear I would get hurt (depending on what it was); lack of assurance with whatever the project was. To this day she is the same way.

It was like I never learned how to walk on my own. Now I am. And that is what is confusing my mum these days. Me being able to do what I should have learned to do a long time ago on my own. Be responsible. Me finally being a Big Girl.

My mum flat out did not trust me with learning I suppose. Extremely over protective. There were times she would not let me play outside as a kid because she feared I would get hurt. I loved to play. That was my passion. My escape. I remember, I must have been around 8 or 9 and literally fighting her with my arms flaring because I was denied playing with my friends football outside. She repeatedly slapped me in the face because I challenged her. Wagging her finger at me.

My dad saw the signs. I would get conflicting signals from him questioning me "why I can't do certain things?" Scolding me. He then making me out to be incompetent in his own way, like my mum was doing as well by withholding me from learning every day things, i.e. cooking, cleaning, putting things together, washing, etc.

After a while I just gave up and gave in. That is why some things are hard for me to venture out in today. Social skills being one of them:

Once there was a little girl who was learning to walk. The trouble was, her mother wouldn't let her fall down. Every time she was about to fall, her mother would rush over and catch her.

It was hard to learn how to walk if she couldn't fall down, but the girl was too little to be able to tell her mother. Her mother thought she was taking care of her when in fact she was keeping her from learning to take care of herself. Letting her fall would have shown trust in the child, trust that she could get up. It would have taught her that she wasn't so fragile that she couldn't recover if she hurt herself.

We are all like this mother once in a while, protecting one another from important lessons in life. This doesn't mean we have to let someone get seriously hurt, but that we allow each other the freedom to learn and grow in individual ways.

What will I be able to learn from my little stumbles today?

Hazelden Foundation.