All my life I have hurried things. I contribute this to being criticized by both my parents. Desiring to please and finish up quickly to show "how good I am and to complete whatever in a timely manner." Fear plays a big part in my hurriedness.
Well, this hurriedness carries over to other areas of my life.
People have made fun of me if I am riding in their car and they are about to pull in to park, that I already have my seat belt unbuckled, the passenger side door open and I am ready to step out while the car is still in motion.
Which leads me to my latest deli-ma .....
Since I work further at my job now, I have a few options in driving to and from my home. Especially concerned at night, when I am tired, had enough of drama and just want to get home.
The interstate highway is the fastest route. You have to really be awake and alert as it is the most dangerous.
The other options are taking main routes (not the interstate) which are slower and have more lights.
Well, I guess you can tell which one I have been taking. Something I said I was not going to do. Until I realized, I want to get home quicker. So, along with my hurriedness, I do not have patience. Then all of a sudden I become this aggressive crazy driver on the interstate. A "crazy lane changer unlimited" only thinking of herself and wanting to get home and not deal with the traffic of cars and life at the same time. Sometimes feeling not too alert because of fatigue and impatience.
Again tonight after arriving home at a decent time (using the interstate), I get this check in my Spirit that I cannot keep on doing this to myself. Rushing like a mad woman out the door of my work place, in order to try and beat as much rush hour traffic as I can for the drive home.
So, I go back and forth in my mind with, "Do I want to live to see the next day and keep others safe around me and try not to be a crazy speed demon or should I try and go the slow route and not have conniption fits every time a slow driver or a stop light appears in front of me?"
This will be a tough battle for me to face. As I am very selfish and am thinking only of myself in this regard. I guess the more I heal and have more compassion on myself and others, this may change.
Each option are equally difficult for me. Both share frustration. I just do not know at this point in time how to relax.
Personally, I enjoy the tollway (north) - NEVER Chicago! I also enjoy the back roads. I am alone. No noise unless I choose to listen to music. Just me, my thoughts, coffee and cigs. I s'pose the difference is that I do not work. I think you should take the road less traveled. Relax. Look around. Above all - be careful.
ReplyDeleteThis is one thing I noticed I did as a parent, telling my kids to hurry up, and the school systems are doing the same whe it comes to tests and such.
ReplyDeletewe all should really take the time to smell the lilacs (i like them better than roses)
Keep yourself safe, JBR! At the end of the day, that's what's most important.
ReplyDeleteWishing you well,
NOS
Speed demon route, definitely,
ReplyDeletenow this is something you and i share. totally. and although i still have to learn to do things slower on a more regular basis, what works sometimes is, asking myself what will happen if i AM late... and you know what? probably nothing. no-one will shout at me. no-one will reprimand me. at most, i'd probably be 5 minutes later than if i were rushing, and what is 5 minutes in our lifetime??? nothing. and that can take the wind out of my sails. even if just for a little bit...
ReplyDeleteJBR YOUR POST MADE ME LAUGH WITH THE JUMPING OUT OF A MOVING CAR. SERIOUSLY THOUGH I KNOW YOU TRUST GOD WITH OTHER THINGS, TRUST HIM AS WELL WITH THIS.
ReplyDeleteJBR sorry for you struggle in being in a hurry.
ReplyDeleteIf we could only awake from our cold hard sleep, lost in a world of selfishness and pain, I know anyone can over come the struggles in there lives through God's help!
When the truth seems unbearable and the pain is overwhelming in our very soul, Gods love is an undying truth.
JBR time is slowly eroding your calloused heart and exposing the soft vulnerable parts again so you can feel once more. Everything is for a reason. God Bless.
unfortunately i drive every day with work...i would much rather walk...taffic is not a good thing for me...
ReplyDeleteOh I'm guilty of driving too fast. But even in the small things God uses as teaching moments if only we listen.
ReplyDeleteI understand how your hurriedness goes back to childhood. I do and feel the same.
ReplyDeletesmooches,
Larie
I'm a big fan of taking the long way home.
ReplyDelete(so much so that my family laughs at me for it!)
I tell myself it's safer and slower but I'll
catch treasures I'd miss otherwise.
And it's true.
I totally get feeling hurried all the time.
I used to rush through everything.
Then I began to sense that there are
unwrapped presents that I kept throwing away
in my rushing.
So I slowed down and started to look for the gifts
and they are EVERYWHERE, I tell you!!!!
Worth slowing down to see.
Watch for them.....it makes life fun.
-Jennifer
I can relate to the hurrying always to show that I'm good or to please other people around me. I would say take the slower and safer route. Your posts are so honest and such a blessing to me.
ReplyDeleteI always find when I hurry, something has been forgotten. Then I have to double back. So in my hurry I have wasted more hours than not, and of course built up a whole stack of mere frustration. All in all, not a good place to be. The alternate route is much wiser and safer.
ReplyDeleteMay you and your loved ones be blessed this Easter weekend! May Christ’s message of eternal life fill you with love.
♥... In His Love, Kerrie