Last Friday my mum went to her doctor for her quarterly check up. They found blood in her urine. The doctor asked her to give another sample and it would be re-checked. Her doctor's office would give her a call some time this week with the results.
Naturally, if you know anything about my mum, she goes right from A to Z with fear. Believing she has cancer. I was consoling her most of the weekend, praying for her, giving her Scripture to meditate on, etc.
She brought home the paper of her first lab result. She had my brother Google the results. Google came up with only a bladder infection. This has eased my mum's mind. Naturally we will not know the "true" outcome, until the second lab results come in this week. But, I certainly was not going to poo-poo this Google find. For with this news my mum is a bit calmer. And easier to manage. Imagine that?
She is finding time to call me more often now. Complaining that we do not talk much. That I am withholding information from her. That I do not come around to see her. She is fidgety.
Yesterday, with a quivering voice, she was just going to pop on over unannounced. Something I told her before not to do, unless she calls me first. Mind you I talk to her two times daily and I saw her twice last week.
When I speak with her now, she rapid fires off questions to me about my life and what I am doing, what church am I attending, where have I been going, who am I seeing. She has no friends and she wants to spend more time with me.
She is trying to step over my boundaries again! Being possessive and controlling to the tee. I can blame it on her latest fear with the findings of her doctor visit. But, that will only give her an excuse for what she has been doing most my life. Calling the shots.
Lord Help!!!
Keeping her in my Prayers
ReplyDeleteI pray that her body would be well and that she'll find the proper balance in your mother-daughter relationship.
ReplyDeleteJBR: I certainly understand, except my Mom is the opposite stubbornly refusing to take care of rudimentary health issues. I have bladder infections often due to the radiation treatment I received years ago, and blood in the urine sometimes is the only sign I have one. UTI's in the elderly can affect their mood and ability to think. So maybe if she gets the infection taken care of she will be a little less needy
ReplyDelete"She is trying to step over my boundaries again"
ReplyDeleteA controlling spirit can behave in such a
ReplyDeletestrangely helpless way
...whiny, victimized, pouty.
It's funny.
For someone to come off so authoritarian,
the whole scenario can flip and turn
very childish so quickly.
It's confusing.
And disarming.
Because it causes such guilt.
But no matter how you dress it up,
it's still control.
Keep leaning into your shepherd
(who models EXCELLENT boundaries!)
and let Him lead you out of these
tangles and minefields.
You're in good hands.
Love and hugs,
Jennifer
I'm cheering you on in setting and keeping boundaries with your mother JBR. She wasn't able to protect and nurture you the way you deserved when you were a child. Now she continues to make your life difficult, as if she was a child herself. You are doing the right thing for both of you in setting limits. take care
ReplyDelete