"Yet a time is coming
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23

My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.

Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.

Daddy let me be secure in You only!

Tuesday, May 10, 2011


I am fighting hard to function today. I am really discouraged and more depressed than normal. I really believe "the change of life" for me has an affect. Alongside of Monday's at work is very physical for me, as well as the emotional crap from peers trying to suck the life out of me and the "mother." And me putting so much pressure on myself to get my work done.

I feel I have been hit by a ten ton truck.

I did not want to get out of bed this morning. I am dead dog tired. Brain dead. Agitated Emotionally and physically. Even breathing is a chore. Lethargic. I feel my body has been zapped empty. I do not want to face anyone with their own issues. I really want to be left alone for a bit.... but, I know that is impossible.

This earthly body of mine is really tiresome. Cannot wait for the day to be glorified!

So here I go. Gather what little I have of myself, give my whole being to the Lord and say, "Daddy, even though I feel You are soooooooo far away from me at this time, it is by Your strength not mine that I go on. Daddy You will have to sustain me and give me the strength! I CANNOT face this day alone!"


  1. He never leaves us alone.

  2. Lord, wrap your protective arms around
    JBR and show her your massive Love in a
    tangible way today, would you please?
    Soothe and coach her through this time
    and lift her out of the doldrums.
    Kiss her with your fresh breath of life,
    won't you please.
    Thanks (and give her my love, too:))
    Love you, JBR,

  3. I've been working outside in the flower bed. As I have been tilling the ground by hand, a two year old across the street has been calling out..'Daddy, Daddy...' (while his dad is busy washing the truck). His sweet young voice penetrates my heart. I think of myself, calling out to our Daddy.."Daddy, Daddy", and like the young father across the street, our Daddy listens and says, "yes Angela?"...

    As I've been tilling the soil, I have been pulling out tons and tons of those helicopter (which will crow into huge trees).

    As I was pulling them out I thought about my mind..covered with 'helicopters'...They need to be pulled out!

    If I don't pull these helicopters out of the ground and continue to let them grow, I will have a forest of tress right by my house, joking everything around it, digging roots deep into the earth and cracking the foundation of my house, branches smashing the windows, tearing about my house.

    It's the same with my mind.....Today I journaled that I wanted to see Jesus alone, think about Him and speak about Him and nothing else..Just keeping my eyes on Him...

    "it is by Your strength not mine that I go on. Daddy You will have to sustain me and give me the strength! I CANNOT face this day alone!"

    amen amen amen

  4. AnonymousMay 10, 2011

    Hang in there and do not let go of that rope

  5. Angela's comment is so awesome. She knows just the right words to say to comfort you. Just let Jesus do the worrying for you.

    Peace and love to you.

  6. Experiencing the same thing myself today. The mood swings not wanting to get out of bed. No obvious reason for being in the dumps. Tomorrow is another day.

  7. JBR,
    May our Lord give you his own strength, my friend. I can see that you feel overwhelmed by everything that's going on and I pray that these burdens are lifted from you. I loved your last paragraph in this post! And He hears you - you never face the day alone.

  8. AnonymousMay 10, 2011

    JBR you've some awesome friends here. Let the love of God soothe your pain. Praying that your day will be a good one. God Bless.

  9. JBR: you might head over to a doctor if you don't start feeling better soon. Sometimes health issues can wear you down as much as emotional ones. The fatigue could be a part of it. Take care!

  10. I am sure God gave you strenght to face your day, we all have days we don't want to get out of bed; I think I feel the same way every Monday; but thank God that beacause of his mercy, we are not consumed, his compassion fails not, it is renewed every morning. Praying for you:) Hugs

  11. It seems you have a lot on your plate. No wonder you're tired. When the physical body is awry as well it makes everything harder to cope with. I pray that you get the rest you need. I'm thinking of you.

  12. I hope you'll that spark again, and prayer is with you, JBR.

    Physically I'm exhausted and tiresome also, but I just have to get out of bed to face another day..

  13. AnonymousMay 11, 2011

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  14. AnonymousMay 11, 2011

    I'm so sorry you're feeling so exhausted. I've been there. Sometimes a day of rest can do wonders. But then again, I think there is value to plowing through it, if not only to prove to yourself that you can.

    I hope you feel better. Just remember that you are stronger than you know. And I'm here to support you.

    Wishing you well,

    PS- Here's some information about Conservative Judaism. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conservative_Judaism

    PPS- Sorry about the deleted comment. I gave you the wrong URL.

  15. I know that empty feeling. And for me, the only way to deal with it is to pray like you did. Hugs.