"Yet a time is coming
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23

My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.

Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.

Daddy let me be secure in You only!

Tuesday, July 26, 2011


I know many of you can relate to this topic. I will just let the devotional speak for itself. At the same time understanding the words may be difficult for some of us:

"How long, O Lord, must I call for help but you do not listen? Or cry out
to you, "Violence!" but you do not save? Why do you make me look at injustice? Why do you tolerate wrong? Destruction and violence are before me; there is strife, and conflict abounds."
Habakkuk 1:2-3,13

Where were you God? Where were you when I needed you? Didn't you see the violence? The abuse? The injustice? Didn't you care? There are times in recovery when we are full of questions about God. The pain of past trauma can be intensified when we begin to struggle with these hard questions about God.

It is important to acknowledge that these questions about God are not academic questions. No theoretical explanation of the problem of pain will soothe our raging, confused hearts. These are urgent, personal questions about God and about God's involvement in our lives. We want to know that God sees and cares and intervenes in our lives. We need God. We need God's love. We need God's help.

It is an important source of encouragement to know that we are not the first to ask these hard questions. There is clear biblical precedent for asking difficult questions about God. People of faith have always struggled with questions like these. We can take comfort and courage from knowing that the prophets also asked urgent questions similar to our own.

God, I am afraid.
I don't understand.
Violence and abuse happen and you do not stop it.
You seem absent.
You seem uncaring.
I need to know that you see and care.
I am calling to you for help, God.
Please hear me.
Please respond.

Copyright Dale and Juanita Ryan

Even though I totally believe that God was right there in the midst of my circumstances, but "why" He let what happened to me or "why" He did not rescue me, I may not fully know or understand this side of heaven. That is one of the mysteries of God.

Once in a while I still find myself angry at God for the "way" I turned out. And I certainly understand the reaction of anger for any of us who have gone through trauma. One thing I believe now by going through what I personally have is that I can relate better to others who have gone through the same thing I have to encourage and help. So, that may be part of His Big plan.....


  1. it is hard to accept at times that all things do work to the good...did God want you to go through it ...no i dont think so...

  2. AnonymousJuly 26, 2011


  3. This is a mystery! I too ask these questions, why? God is God and He knows the why, we need to trust Him, which is hard, but when we study His word we get to know Him and see that He is worthy of our trust.


  4. This ministered to me JBR as you know I'm going through a tough battle. Thanks for sharing this.

  5. I too struggle with where was God when a lot of really bad thing that happened in my life. I try not to question why, but sometimes is just slips out. I do understand where you are coming from. Holding on with you. Wanda

  6. I pray that when we meet God in Heaven we will learn the why. For now we just have to trust that He is always with us in good time and in the bad times. ((HUGS))