"Yet a time is coming
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23

My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.

Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.

Daddy let me be secure in You only!

Saturday, December 03, 2011


Yes, why do we suffer in body, soul, mind and spirit? These past few months have really been very painful for me physically. I have never in all my life been so physically challenged. Most of my body is affected and afflicted. (For new readers, you will have to read past posts) Wondering when it will all end. Hampering me from feeling good and doing certain things that my Spirit so longs to do.

The first couple of hours when I wake up in the morning are the best for me to function. Then I gradually go down hill from there. That is why I am writing this post now.

During this time I am finding out that I have grown closer to God. Not to say I have not become discouraged many a time. Crying out to God to "just take me now!" Even down right angry at Him! Questioning "why why why?" Especially when the pain becomes frustrating and unbearable.

Still during this time I feel a brokenness. Not in Spirit, but in my outer shell. My flesh. Having to depend on God much more fully than ever before.

Compassion has taken a new level with me as well. Even in my own pain, I have more compassion and empathy on others. My pain can and has equipped me to minister to others who are in pain as well. Whether emotionally or physically. At the same time it is comforting to know that in Hebrews 4:15 states "that we do have a High Priest who can sympathize and understand what we are going through."

Then there are the times that we suffer because of who we are in Christ. Since my journey I have become closer to God. My walls of shame and guilt are slowly coming down. My relationship with God is strengthening. The enemy knows this. He too does attack our bodies and mind as well. He knows that the Word of God will strengthen us. So, he tries and comes against us to kill, steal and destroy.

And if this is any consolation to us all is that we have the hope of glory that one day we will be pain free in Heaven. For ever! But, as we continue to live in this world, yes we will have suffering and tribulation. But Jesus told us to have courage and be confident in the midst of our pain. Not an easy task Daddy. For I still waver and give in to my fleshly pain and complain. But, then at those times my inner Spirit kicks in and begins to bubble up and I recall and confess out loud who I am in Christ and that He is the healer! For He has over come the world.

I will be seeing a Neurologist on the 13th.


  1. I think those "Jesus take the wheel" moments
    are gifts.....not that He does those things TO us,
    but that He becomes so much more clearly our
    only hope
    during those times.
    And He is such a GOOD one and only hope.
    I have a hard time thanking Him for those times,
    but once I'm through and look back,
    I notice the sweetest fruit is often from
    just those awful times.
    Funny how that goes.
    Praying you're drenched in encouragement
    and comfort
    and grace to dive into Him,
    the Hope of your life.
    Love you friend,

  2. JBR I'm blessed to know you. Amazed that in your pain you can still be positive and share and encourage others. That's a gift. Limited as we are as human's, we can still find that inner strength that God can only give. God bless.


  4. So sorry you're not feeling well. I hope the doctors can find out what's causing your problem. You're such an encourager to me. Get better soon ya hear!

  5. JBR, your post says all we need to know about the God's love. Your long suffering bears witness to your faith. You inspire others with your words. I know it is not easy, but I know you will have many blessings in your future.

    Constant pain is torment. Sometimes there is no relief. I am praying that your pain passes your body soon. I hope the doctors can find some relief for you.

    Gentle hugs to you and much love.

  6. I hope the apt goes well JBR.. Thanks for sharing..

    I don't suppose you know why NOS isn't posting these days? I hope she's well.. I don't have her email otherwise I'd have asked her myself.. She could get into some pretty dark places so I suppose it's natural to be concerned..

  7. Love your graphic you added with your post this morning..so appropriate...know that your name will be lifted up before the Father this day...Much-Afraid in the book, Hinds Feet in High Places reached a place in her spiritual growth that she saw that Sorrow and Suffering were her friends as they led her to Jesus every time....encouraged by your honesty!

  8. I"m praying for you and this is a beautifully written post!


  9. Suffering has always been somewhat of a mystery, hasn't it? You have no idea how often I have asked the same question as you: WHY? I have learned that God can bring great good out of suffering though I may not understand exactly how or why. I can see from your post that you've noticed this too. What Satan meant for our harm, God uses for our good. I may not know how this works but I know it's true for those who have faith.
    You are in my thoughts and prayers, my friend! Keep your chin up! Have you noticed how much insight God has given you this past year? Amazing! May He continue to enlighten your heart and mind!

  10. Well written post and one to ponder. I know that through the ages, human beings have sought to reconcile their understanding of an all-powerful, loving God with the seemingly endless suffering around them. In times of suffering, Christians honor the Lord by trusting Him and knowing that He loves them and has a purpose for their lives. The presence of suffering in the world should remind us all that we are sinners in a sin-cursed world and also prompt us to tell others about the salvation available in Christ—after all, that would be the loving thing to do. We can tell people the truth of how they, too, can be saved from this sin-cursed world and live eternally with a perfect and good God.

  11. Sending healing prayers. Yes ones hardships does make one more compassionate for others when they have the same or similar trials. I am so glad to see your faith is growing stronger and you can share your journey so that others may follow. May you continue to shine even in those dark times. Many blessing to you.

  12. Thank you for sharing the encouragement in the midst of your pain. Suffering happens in life, and how we react to it and to the One who can bring joy in spite of pain and peace through life's trials can make all the difference. God bless you!

  13. Thank you for sharing this...may God bless you with healing and endurance through it all!

  14. You know JBR, once more I am amazed at how you nail things so clearly and with such a depth of perception that makes me smile. While you describe the pain... you are also claiming who the answer is and what He is teaching you along the way. It's a beautiful and insightful testimony to your own faith.

    Love you my sweet friend... keep going, you are growing more than you probably even know.


  15. so many different versions of pain... hugs of healing to you that they may lift... thinking of you. always.

  16. JBR looking in on you hoping you're doing better. God Bless.

  17. passing by to show some love. Hugs to you

  18. You have the right perspective with suffering...I hope it gets better