"Yet a time is coming
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23

My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.

Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.

Daddy let me be secure in You only!

Tuesday, February 07, 2012

WHAT DOES LOVE LOOK LIKE


For someone who lacked proper love and nurturing growing up, experiencing what "love feels and looks like" has been very painful and confusing.

I know (mentally) human love is much more than a physical or sexual attraction. My misconceptions and lack thereof about love due to many traumatic events as a child have skewed my mind. Cutting off and shutting down those feelings to my heart. Emotionally I have trouble connecting. Resulting in a very deep longing. A void. Emptiness. Deadness in this area.

Unfortunately, this deadness carries over to my Heavenly Father. Since my desire has been greater than ever to have an intimate relationship with the Lord now, all I want is to "Feel" the Love that God has for me. But, the painful void remains.

Sometimes I wonder though if I do feel love and just Cannot Recognize it? Knowing that love is not always "just a feeling." That by what He did for me on the Cross I can only mentally grasp at the moment. But, I want the reality of His suffering out of love for me to grasp my heart. As well I really want to be able to feel the love I want to give back to Him! I want my heart to grasp the love from the people He has placed in my life that are genuinely concerned about me.

Anyway, I found this song/video above which comes close to but not all, to my searching questions and answers:


“What does love look like?” is the question I’ve been pondering
“What does love look like?”
“What does love look like?” is the question I’ve been asking of You

I once believed that love was romance, just a chance
I even thought that love was for the lucky and the beautiful
I once believed that love was a momentary bliss
But love is more than this
All You ever wanted was my attention
All You ever wanted was love from me
All You ever wanted was my affections, to sit here at Your feet

Then I sat down, a little frustrated and confused
If all of life comes down to love
Then love has to be more than sentiment
More than selfishness and selfish gain

And then I saw Him there, hanging on a tree, looking at me
I saw Him there, hanging on a tree, looking at me
He was looking at me, looking at Him, staring through me
I could not escape those beautiful eyes
And I began to weep and weep

He had arms wide open, a heart exposed
Arms wide open; He was bleeding, bleeding

Love’s definition, love’s definition was looking at me
Looking at Him, hanging on a tree
I began to weep and weep and weep and weep

This is how I know what love is, this is how I know what love is

And as I sat there weeping, crying
Those beautiful eyes, full of desire and love

He said to me, “You shall love Me, You shall love Me
You shall love Me, You shall love Me”

With arms wide open, a heart exposed
With arms wide open, bleeding, sometimes bleeding

If anybody’s looking for love in all the wrong places
If you’ve been searching for love, come to Me, come to Me
Take up your cross, deny yourself
Forget your father’s house and run, run with Me
You were made for abandonment, wholeheartedness
You were made for someone greater, someone bigger, so follow Me
And You’ll come alive when you learn to die



15 comments:

  1. JBR my heart grieves with you. I'm believing you will receive the fullness of his love. It's out there JBR. Let his love come to you. Relax be patient. If he knows how much you desire his love, I can't believe he would hold it back from you. He'll extend his love. That's what he's all about. Love. God Bless.

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  2. The words to the song made me cry. A love song.

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  3. What does love look like?
    Love is feeding the poor.
    Love is caring for the widow.
    Love is sitting beside someone crying and just holding them.
    Love is helping the old lady across the street.
    Love is praising Jesus
    Love is obeying the Lord
    Love is turning the other cheek
    Love is taking the punishment for another
    Love has hung on a cross for us
    Love rose from the dead
    Love forgives
    Love waits for us always

    Love is action; doing.

    I love this song and the words define love in the fullest.

    Blessings my friend,
    <><

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  4. I KNOW NO SIMPLE WORDS CAN CHANGE THE WAY YOU FEELING RIGHT NOW. SO I'M NOT GOING TO EVEN TRY JBR. THE STRUGGLE YOUR FEELING IS A SURE SIGN YOUR CLOSE TO YOUR BREAKTHROUGH IN RECEIVING AND FEELING ONCE AGAIN. YOU'VE GOT THE DETERMINATION AND DESIRE TO BE FILLED. PEOPLE CAN SAY AND EXPRESS WHAT LOVE IS TO THEM. BUT UNTIL YOU YOURSELF CAN PUT YOUR OWN FEELINGS TO IT, IT WILL REMAIN OUT OF REACH. I LIKE WHAT ONTHEWYA SAID, THAT GOD SEES YOU AND KNOWS HOW MUCH YOU WANT HIM. HE'LL HONOR THAT. HOW CAN HE TURN ANYONE AWAY THAT WANTS HIS LOVE SO BADLY AS YOU?

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  5. Thank you for sharing your heart and this beautiful song, which I've never heard. I know that God has beautiful plans for your life; He never turns away from one hungering for more of Him, Love Himself.

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  6. Having been sexually abused myself I can understand a bit. Life with God is a slow growth. I would say the best thing I have learned lately is from Joyce Meyer who said,"After you pray about something, believe God is working." This is what I do now and it helps me so much.

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  7. I went through a Bible study using Jack Frost's books on embracing the Father's heart and it really helped me to get rid of the "orphan thinking" that so many of us have. I love Misty Edwards ministry in song. Praying for you.

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  8. I hoep you cna find this love your looking for jbr. you deserve only th ebest.

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  9. Just be real (JBR) I'm just like you. The struggle is on. He tells me throughout the word of God that He's always with me, that He will never leave or forsake me, and that He will meet every last one of my needs and give me the desires of my heart. He loves me more than I love my own self because when I am hard on myself and want to put myself down, He says let go and let me help you, bring all your cares and burdens to me, I’ll take them for you, and I’ll give you rest. Then at the same time I don't always feel His touch. His love. I was brought up in an abusive family and married into one also. I'm the only Christian in my family. It's hard to profess Christ's love and believe when I don't see it in my own family. Don't mean to be a downer. WAnted you to know I'm here for you and understand.

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  10. Forgot to tell you I like you blog of truthfulness. Not many people will admit there struggles and be real about it. A fresh new breeze to see that you say it as it is.

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  11. Isn't it great that God knows how to help us feel love, no matter where we come from! All we need is a willing heart.

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  12. Thank you for visiting my blog and leaving a comment! May God richly bless you as you seek to know Him more.
    Peace & Grace

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  13. Keep the Love chapter ever before you: Here it is:
    1 Corinthians 13
    Love—the Greatest of All
    1 I may be able to speak the languages of men and even of angels, but if I do not have love, it will sound like noisy brass. 2 If I have the gift of speaking God’s Word and if I understand all secrets, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I know all things and if I have the gift of faith so I can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give everything I have to feed poor people and if I give my body to be burned, but do not have love, it will not help me.
    4 Love does not give up. Love is kind. Love is not jealous. Love does not put itself up as being important. Love has no pride. 5 Love does not do the wrong thing. Love never thinks of itself. Love does not get angry. Love does not remember the suffering that comes from being hurt by someone. 6 Love is not happy with sin. Love is happy with the truth. 7 Love takes everything that comes without giving up. Love believes all things. Love hopes for all things. Love keeps on in all things.

    8 Love never comes to an end. The gift of speaking God’s Word will come to an end. The gift of speaking in special sounds will be stopped. The gift of understanding will come to an end. 9 For we only know a part now, and we speak only a part. 10 When everything is perfect, then we will not need these gifts that are not perfect.

    11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child. I thought like a child. I understood like a child. Now I am a man. I do not act like a child anymore. 12 Now that which we see is as if we were looking in a broken mirror. But then we will see everything. Now I know only a part. But then I will know everything in a perfect way. That is how God knows me right now. 13 And now we have these three: faith and hope and love, but the greatest of these is love.

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  14. Thank you JBR for sharing your heart. You are in my prayers.
    Blessings,
    Ken

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  15. I believe I know how you feel.
    The song is beautiful. ((HUGS))

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