Most my life I believed that I was not worthy enough for anyone's time/attention. Like when I had lunch this past week with my ex-boss. She has to travel some distance to meet up with me. My insecurity kicked in and I asked her if she was only coming to see me? Assuming she had other errands to run as well to make her trip worth while. I could not let it go that she was only coming to see me.
So, in t. yesterday, my t. said that I have been looking at relationships from a perfectionist view. Questioning in my mind people's motives and intentions about my self-worth. Not only acquiring the same 100%/perfection from them but from myself. And life is not like that!
The point being whether my boss had only plans for me, which may have included doing errands, does not mean that she did not want to spend the time with me!
That is what my heart has trouble grasping!
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteSo true JBR! I think we get so wrapped up with ourselves in the good or bad thinking and we set ourselves up for happy or sad...by our own, as Joyce Meyer calls, it "stinking thinking"...we anylse everything to pieces..I know I do....why is she, why would she, or is she, did she, probably not, now I'm sad....! ;0) are we not silly sometimes? Happy Friday
ReplyDeleteJBR your post is very compelling. I hope your readers see the depths of your healing. I know I do. God bless.
ReplyDeleteIt is so true that our human eyes see ourselves in a vastly different light than how the Lord sees us. Through the blood of Jesus and His sacrifice, not only are we made clean, but we are worthy, pleasing, and desirable.
ReplyDeleteIT DOESN'T CEASE TO AMAZE ME HOW YOU CAN WRITE SOMETHING SO CLEAR THAT IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE. I CAN'T DO THAT. YOU'RE CONNECTED TO YOUR HEART MORE THAN YOU THINK JBR.
ReplyDeleteSomeone once told me that Christ would have went to the cross just for me. Mind blowing huh? It is hard to grasp how valuable we are to Him and to others. I always find myself looking for hidden agendas :(
ReplyDeleteYou are worthy! I am so glad you are seeing this. :)
ReplyDelete<><
i would travel miles to see you :) just you, for real <3
ReplyDeleteVery interesting. Sorry you have to feel that way about something that is really very simple and a sweet gesture on her part. I know that I over think things and we have to learn not to.
ReplyDeleteInteresting...it sounds like a battle I'd have within myself. I often don't feel worthy and I know they are old tapes but regardless, they haunt me at times.
ReplyDeleteI think you are more than worthy :)
You are soooo very worthy girl...just priceless!
ReplyDeleteIt's too be we are so critical of ourselves and cannot see what other see in us.
Obviously your boss thinks highly of ya or she would not of made the trip.
God bless ya and have yourself a blissful weekend my friend!!!
I know that feeling of self-doubt that creeps in during social situations. It is so unpleasant, but you are right - we are worthy! Thank you for your honesty. Your words are so inspiring.
ReplyDeleteI think since she wanted to meet you and had taken the time, means you are important to her. IN this busy world, most of the time people prioritize the most important things os people. You are worth a visit. If I can only visit you and get to know you,it will be an honor. Ever child of God is unique and you are His child:)
ReplyDeleteLately, in evaluating actions I've tried to focus on intention. Whether I'm worried about having hurt someone else or concerned about another person's affection for me, it seems productive to look at what's intended. Your boss wanted to see you. It makes sense that she would have dovetailed that with other tasks to make her day more efficient. This approach has served me especially when I've felt wounded. More often than not I realize that perceived slights are usually not intended to wound. And even when they are, they typically arise from the other person's fear and need to feel safe. People are not perfect, but they are usually trying to do what seems best to them at the time. When we come out of abusive homes, we have been so badly treated that we expect to see that mistreatment frequently. But in truth, such cruelty is rare in day-to-day life. So is the unconditional and absolute selfless love we crave from others as a consequence of our impoverished emotional upbringing. But in between there is ordinary humane conversation, everyday friendship, and people trying their best. Thanks for opening up about your feelings; I can imagine myself asking exactly the same question.
ReplyDeleteI can relate, worthy one.
ReplyDeleteI sure can.
Such a learning curve there
for me too.
We have a wonderful Father
and He'll take us there:)
love and hugs,
Jennifer
It is so easy to discount ourselves, or people's feelings toward us.
ReplyDeleteBut it is a good thing to allow yourself to sit with the thoughts that someone would travel a distance to spend time with you - because you are special and awesome.
YOU are so worthy JBR, so very worthy.
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Amanda
none of us are worthy. That is why Jesus is our Savior.
ReplyDelete