Having to do things right at times in front of people can still be a struggle for me. Not that I want to impress. But I am trying to avoid the feelings of shame and judgement that take over when I "think" I am not successful at a task. Even though people are probably not even casting those lying stones of shame and judgement my way. It can be hard to believe otherwise.
My dad shamed me terribly when I could not do things right! I had a habit of holding my breath many times in deep concentration, while I was attempting to do something correctly in order not to get criticized or disapproving looks. Sadly most times in my anxiousness to please him, the end result due to my nervousness to shine ended up in defeat.
My mum had her way of shaming me verbally. Still trying to use methods on me to this day in order to control me with stabs to my own personal appearance and intelligence.
But, with my Heavenly Daddy's help I have endured and am beginning to believe that I am worthy! That He accepts me just as I am. Warts and all. He does not look at the outside, but my heart. Which is on the mend.
My worst mistakes will never make God not love me, shame me or abandon me. He loves me despite my imperfections.
Philippians 4:6-7: “Do not be anxious about anything” (v.6).
Our anxiety level increases when we believe statements like: “Disappointing my parents would be terrible” or “If I make a mistake in front of others it would be awful.” The truth is: it would be distasteful, painful, annoying, inconvenient — even sad, but not the end of the world.
What if you did make a mistake delivering your next sales presentation? What if your mother was angry because you couldn’t come to Sunday dinner? What if your spouse retreated in pouting silence when you said, No?
The next time you feel anxiety in your stomach, ask yourself: What is the worst thing that could happen to me? Listen carefully for the answer and then ask another question: Will that worst scenario ever cause God to withhold his love from me?
Lord, if I made a mistake, I’d be embarrassed.
If my mate got mad at me, it would be extremely unpleasant.
If one of my parents died, I’d be grief-stricken.
But with your help I would endure,
knowing that one day I’ll be with you
and everything will be perfect.
Copyright 2012 Joan C. Webb
I can relate to this posting this morning so very well....always making sure every dot is dotted every t is crossed ...and then reproofing again ...sometimes I will find a mistake I have made and will ... just let it be....as therapy ..it is painful to move past the "key wrong word" fear of what others will say, "you are stupid" "can you not spell"....I do not know if it is working or not as a therapy tool for me ...but I do know I have discovered that others just move past my mistakes most of the time w/out commenting or shaming me ....
ReplyDeleteSometimes it hard to believe we don't need to be perfect or we will be shamed.
ReplyDeleteYou are right. When we process ourselves through His eyes, we see what and who we really are. Others' attempts to label, judge and shame us are worthless compared to that!
ReplyDeleteYou are absolutely RIGHT!! In God's eyes, you are perfect and no shame involved. That is more important then anything you've experienced in the past. Hugs to you!
ReplyDeleteWhat an amazing post full of truth! I feel like saying a big AMEN! Thanks again and love the pic!
ReplyDeleteHi JBR,
ReplyDeleteI wish more people would take the step and get to know God. He is so loving, so forgiving and always there to help us change.
Blessings,
<><
Oh I am hugging you in the Spirit JBR, I relate to this completely. I struggle with feelings of inadequacy and shame and nervousness when i am asked to to an important task, all the time I feel I have done something wrong I will get yelled at.
ReplyDeleteThere is a man on my work team who yelled at me exactly like my Dad used to, I am so scared of him although he is a brother in Christ and caring most of the time, but sometimes he gets impatient.
AMEN!!!
ReplyDeleteWow, so well said, JBR. All of your posts resonate with me, but this one particularly so. What you said regarding fear of judgment and the anxiety that ensues when you try to complete certain tasks is something that I constantly struggle with. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and invaluable insight. Thinking of you and send you hugs. xx
ReplyDeleteYou have such great posts.... and I agree...it's hard to realize we don't have to be perfect. "being perfectly imperfect"
ReplyDeleteI know I say this often but:
ReplyDeleteI can sooo relate to this post! As a matter of fact I think you and I are on the same wavelength today in our posts even though they are different. It's scary how the past can keep intruding on the present, isn't it? We learned to live (or perhaps I should say survive) in a certain way and God has to heal all this, including the way we think about ourselves. You are right - nothing will ever make God not love us.
God bless you, my friend! Great post!
I know I say this often but:
ReplyDeleteI can sooo relate to this post! As a matter of fact I think you and I are on the same wavelength today in our posts even though they are different. It's scary how the past can keep intruding on the present, isn't it? We learned to live (or perhaps I should say survive) in a certain way and God has to heal all this, including the way we think about ourselves. You are right - nothing will ever make God not love us.
God bless you, my friend! Great post!
Oops! I don't know why it published twice!
ReplyDeleteI needed to hear this today. I worry way too much how other people think of me. What God knows about me is all that really matters.
ReplyDeleteThese are good questions to ask ourselves in anxiety mode. Always good to remind ourselves that nothing can remove the Lord's love for us!
ReplyDeleteI'm so so grateful
ReplyDeletethat our Father doesn't shame us
now,
aren't you.
Oh heal us, Lord.
Heal and restore us
and help us to end
the cycle.
Thankful for His bearing
our shame.
Love and hugs,
Jen
I'm so so grateful
ReplyDeletethat our Father doesn't shame us
now,
aren't you.
Oh heal us, Lord.
Heal and restore us
and help us to end
the cycle.
Thankful for His bearing
our shame.
Love and hugs,
Jen
That is perfect advice because my stomach does feel anxiety often and my concern is the person making me feel this way. God isn't making me feel this way, He loves me and that's the important fact!
ReplyDelete