"When we are alone, when our private terrors have left us without the ability to speak, when even the simplest of prayers ["Help!"] is more that our weary hearts can muster – those are the times we need God’s Spirit most of all." - Excerpt by Dale and Juanita Ryan
I still find myself when terror attacks panicking. I did something yesterday, that I never have done before. I drove home from somewhere. Pulled into my parking spot and proceeded to take the key out of the ignition. It would not budge!
Within a millisecond I physically felt a cold slate of terror go through my body. That is the only way I could described my panic attacks. Becoming physically ill within seconds.
Okay.... so not being able to get the key out of my ignition brought all this on. What gives?
As discussed yesterday in t., when things are not going smoothly in my life and I loose control I go right into panic mode.
Not having a significant other, or a good friend to call upon in time of need, I panic. I feel totally helpless and afraid! Lose all sense of reality. It is like all my defenses come down and my mind is up for brutal enemy attack. Debilitating thoughts and fears flood my mind. Losing all my confidence in the one "Jesus" who can deliver me.
I did have the presence of mind to call upon the Lord a couple of times during this ordeal. But, failing miserably as my fears STILL overrode my trust in the Lord.
Will have to invest more time is memorizing preventive fear Scriptures. Like Isaiah 41:10.
My panic stems from my upbringing with my mum and my fearful/controlling enmeshed relationship. Although many battles have been won with my mum, there are still some areas that need tending to. Yesterday, was a very good example.
Oh by the way..... during my frantic five minutes of panic, where at one point my "extreme" irrational fears had me going to the place of killing myself to end this panic.....the Spirit led me to look down at my gear shift. I was still in "drive." So everything locks in my car until I put the shift into "park."
A simple "imperfect" mishap caused so much panic.
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23
My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.
Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.
Daddy let me be secure in You only!