"Yet a time is coming
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23

My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.

Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.

Daddy let me be secure in You only!

Saturday, September 08, 2012


The words below in the devotional really cut painfully deep for me still. Especially “the social isolation” bit. It was coping mechanism I chose to use to survive my trauma as a child. Stuff my feelings and turn everything within. Isolate from people out of fear. Unfortunately the affects from my abuse made me isolate more than I would like in my later years.

Although I have been healing in the area of isolation, I still have that tendency to feel very alone, abandoned and neglected. Making me extremely fearful. All aspects from my growing up years.

The paragraph below, that is highlighted in blue, you will see I have for my “header” to my blog. The words and meaning are very special to me!

This far along in my journey I still find that some days are extremely hard to do. Giving the appearance on the outside I am okay, but on the inside my little girl screams out of fear and becomes physically effected where she cannot eat when she feels overwhelmed with her past haunts that are still in the process of healing.

But through it all now, I realize as I grow closer to my Heavenly Daddy, that I am Never Alone and I Am His! Even though many times I struggle with my Heavenly Daddy's love for me. In those times I remind myself and go on faith that "yes He does love me and I need not fear."

"Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine." Isaiah 43:1

Abandoned. Neglected. Alone.

Many of us share these painful struggles. Unfortunately, many of us have struggled with them from very early in life. People from dysfunctional families often feel that they were never acceptable to their parents. Many struggle with the feeling that they can never be good enough to receive attention. If reinforced by rejection or abandonment from friends, colleagues, or other significant people in our lives, we can easily conclude that we don't really 'belong' at all.

Humans have a deep longing to belong, to be emotionally bonded with others. Social isolation can be very painful to us. But social isolation may have felt like the only option open to us as children. Attempts at closeness may have meant experiencing control, abuse, rejection or loss. We may have pulled away to protect ourselves, even though it left us lonely and afraid.

God comes to our lonely, anxious hearts and whispers our name. God says "I see both the fear you have of closeness and the deep longing you have to belong. I have come to comfort you and to respond to your need. I have been seeking a relationship with you. You belong. You belong to me. You are my child."

It may frighten us - this invitation to belong to God - even though we long for it. It may frighten us because we expect pain and disappointment, over-control and rejection. But gradually, as we continue the healing process, we can allow God to meet this deep need. We can allow ourselves to belong more and more to God.

Help me, God, to allow myself to belong to you. Thank you for calling me by name. Thank you for saying 'you are mine'. I want to belong to you, God. Help me to heal, Great Physician, So that I can accept my place in your family. Take away my fear, Father, give me the courage to belong to you.

Copyright 1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan


  1. Blessings for you JBR.
    Love the picture too

  2. And it's a beautiful truth, that the more vulnerable we make ourselves to Him, the more He strengthens us and works through us. Blessings to you, this beautiful day, my friend~

  3. Thank you for sharing these words. ((HUGS))
    Have a beautiful Saturday.

  4. I'd just like to say that God is my Father too, and many other people's Father, and do you know what JBR? That makes me your sister, along with many other sisters and brothers. You have a HUGE family who send you hugs and blessings.

  5. JBR love the picture first off. Great message. I feel your pain but see your growth. Our God is greater and our comforter. God Bless.

  6. The feeling of abandonment can eat at one's soul' Believe me I know. We will hang in there together!

  7. Healing can be such a long journey. Lifting you up to our Daddy. :)


  8. tears.
    this just brings so many tears.
    thankful and (sniff) much needed.
    grace and gratitude,

  9. It does take courage to completely surrender yourself unto Him. As for personal relationships, did you know that for the first ten years of my marriage, I was always frightened that my husband would abandon me when he dropped me off at a door and went to park? Fortunately, I found a wonderful and understand man to love me. Don't let your past keep you from living the life you want, even if it takes all your courage and strength to do so! Praying that God will send you someone equally patient and understanding! Hugs!

  10. There is a song that roughly says as I can't recollect precisely, "let me do your will Lord but let it still be me". That is how I feel because of fear of being controlled by another and the abuse of power. I can't quite trust God not to hurt me even though my faith in God helped me survive. I nodded as I read this post because I too struggle to feel I belong anywhere and indeed this feeling has been with me all my life and is very present today. Sometimes you just need to see your not alone in how you feel. Thank you.

  11. This is so beautiful and so brave! Thank you for being real!

  12. This is what my heart needed....thank you dear sister...

  13. You are so right about the deep desire we have in our hearts to belong. For years my mental illness (OCD) made me feel like I was a freak and that I didn't belong anywhere and that no one would love me if they really knew what I was. I am thankful that God has brought healing to my life and that I don't feel like this all the time anymore. Sometimes, but not all the time. thank you for sharing this.

  14. Good post. There are so many reasons we can have to not feel like we belong, like we just aren't good enough! But, I am learning, because of the love of the Lord and of good Christian friends, that we are all good enough. We "are" loved by our Heavenly Father and many others. Sometimes it can just be so hard to accept, to reach out and take hold of that love! Whoa . . . sorry I wrote so much. You must have struck a chord with me this morning! Have a blessed day JBR. Chelle

  15. The words in blue are very comforting indeed. I think we all struggle somewhat with feeling alone and with wanting to belong, but I'm sorry that what has happened to you in your past has made it even more severe for you. Faith is the only thing that gets us all through some days.

  16. Good evening, Sister ~ :D

    I'm so glad I'm a part of the FAMILY OF GOD
    I've been washed in the fountain
    Cleansed by His blood
    Joint heirs with Jesus as we travel this sod
    For I'm a part of the family

    No need to feel alone, my friend......you have a very large family that is there for you!


  17. Saying prayers for you dear one.