The words below in the devotional really cut painfully deep for me still. Especially “the social isolation” bit. It was coping mechanism I chose to use to survive my trauma as a child. Stuff my feelings and turn everything within. Isolate from people out of fear. Unfortunately the affects from my abuse made me isolate more than I would like in my later years.
Although I have been healing in the area of isolation, I still have that tendency to feel very alone, abandoned and neglected. Making me extremely fearful. All aspects from my growing up years.
The paragraph below, that is highlighted in blue, you will see I have for my “header” to my blog. The words and meaning are very special to me!
This far along in my journey I still find that some days are extremely hard to do. Giving the appearance on the outside I am okay, but on the inside my little girl screams out of fear and becomes physically effected where she cannot eat when she feels overwhelmed with her past haunts that are still in the process of healing.
But through it all now, I realize as I grow closer to my Heavenly Daddy, that I am Never Alone and I Am His! Even though many times I struggle with my Heavenly Daddy's love for me. In those times I remind myself and go on faith that "yes He does love me and I need not fear."
"Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine." Isaiah 43:1
Abandoned. Neglected. Alone.
Many of us share these painful struggles. Unfortunately, many of us have struggled with them from very early in life. People from dysfunctional families often feel that they were never acceptable to their parents. Many struggle with the feeling that they can never be good enough to receive attention. If reinforced by rejection or abandonment from friends, colleagues, or other significant people in our lives, we can easily conclude that we don't really 'belong' at all.
Humans have a deep longing to belong, to be emotionally bonded with others. Social isolation can be very painful to us. But social isolation may have felt like the only option open to us as children. Attempts at closeness may have meant experiencing control, abuse, rejection or loss. We may have pulled away to protect ourselves, even though it left us lonely and afraid.
God comes to our lonely, anxious hearts and whispers our name. God says "I see both the fear you have of closeness and the deep longing you have to belong. I have come to comfort you and to respond to your need. I have been seeking a relationship with you. You belong. You belong to me. You are my child."
It may frighten us - this invitation to belong to God - even though we long for it. It may frighten us because we expect pain and disappointment, over-control and rejection. But gradually, as we continue the healing process, we can allow God to meet this deep need. We can allow ourselves to belong more and more to God.
Help me, God, to allow myself to belong to you. Thank you for calling me by name. Thank you for saying 'you are mine'. I want to belong to you, God. Help me to heal, Great Physician, So that I can accept my place in your family. Take away my fear, Father, give me the courage to belong to you.
Copyright 1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23
My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.
Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.
Daddy let me be secure in You only!