"Yet a time is coming
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23

My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.

Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.

Daddy let me be secure in You only!

Wednesday, December 05, 2012

DISTURBING MEMORY SURFACED

Oh wow! As I am laying in bed this morning, as clear as day a memory surfaced about my older brother (the one who died at 33). This memory has come up before and I would discard it. But, until now, it never clicked. That possibly.......

In my early 20's, at times I felt that my older brother would "come on to me." My little girl senses above all this kind of fear from the opposite sex. Her trembling body would set off the alarm. My brother had all the signs. Gawking, hugging and even kissing me a little too much. Too deep. Something was not right.

Even though I have no recollection as I do about my other brother molesting me. Who is four years older than me. This brother who would of been eleven years older than me, I cannot remember him taking advantage of me as a child. Only in my 20's I felt extremely uncomfortable with him at times.

13 comments:

  1. Another step in the healing process. Prayers and hugs to you~

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  2. Thank you for sharing your honesty. I have met a number of people whose lives are in a mess due to what happened to them in the past. They continue to be haunted by past memories that hinder. Sadly children are born into this world as innocent beings but they soon get introduced to a life of pain, fear, rejection, evil and sin. After reading more about you, it seems you know the answer to healing which is in Christ. **Bev

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  3. Im sad to read about your brother. I hope the holidays will brighten your life.

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  4. Covering you in prayer hon. I'm glad these memories are being released and another step in the healing journey is happening.

    Love and hugs,
    <><

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  5. I love how you share your heart with your readers, and though you have been through so much it has made you a much stronger person than you probably don't even realize. I know when I was much younger I never understood why God would allow people to go through such tragic storms but what I have learned is it was for His glory because He knew who to give it to and who was going to give Him pure Glory and now my sister you are able to help other women who have went through what you have. In time all those memories will fade away because we have to go through the healing process. We serve such a loving God that He cares and loves us all in ways we never know. God bless you this day and thanks for sharing I know someone who is reading this will be bless.

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  6. I feel sad that you have to experience the emotions attached with these memories, but I am trusting that now is the time God has planned for this. I am confident that this is another step He has in your healing process. I am glad He will take you through this, carrying you when you need it. May God bless you as you share your life and healing process as an example to so many others! Shana

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  7. That sounds like a very good memory to have. I am so sorry you lost him.((HUGS))

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  8. God bless you! There is healing in God's wings! My brother did something to me, but not as severe as yours but its enough to haunt me. Stay strong girl!

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  9. I'm sorry it's been a long while since I've visited, but from your words, I can see how much you've grown and how much God has helped you through the healing process.
    Many blessings.

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  10. Oh Grace, I'm sorry to hear this memory has surfaced, but the only way to free yourself of those memories is to uncover all those layers. Hugs and blessings to you, my dear.

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  11. God morning Grace! May your day be filled with good memories to forget the bad. May you feel God's love overwhelhing to heal the pain in your heart. may you continue to see the beauty inside you which is God to make you feel worthy of loving and having a wonderful life. The best is yetto come. Explore God's goodness, healing, love, wisdom, strength and protection.
    Hugs from me!

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  12. JBR I'm sorry for what's happened to you. Memories are healing ointments. God Bless.

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  13. Like what I had commented before, as a nurse, I see the very painful process of removing deeper tissues that are dead in order for the wound to heal. God must be doing something sort of that way. It hurts to remember but I pray for your healing and complete transformation. God bless.

    ((((JBR)))) Back at you! :)

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