"Yet a time is coming
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23

My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.

Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.

Daddy let me be secure in You only!

Monday, December 31, 2012


This is the third time I am sharing this particular devotion.

I usually share it at the end of the year. Taking a yearly evaluation of myself per sey.

You will see from this devotion the benefits of hiddenness. Jesus saw it.

Even though I have improved over these few years, there remains still some emotional scars from my past in my hiddenness. Self discovering more and more how I was neglected and shamed growing up. Missing out on the love and nurturing.

Today I realized just how dead "some" of my feelings regarding love remain. There is nothing there emotionally for now. Deadness in hiddenness I call it. I cannot even go through the motions. This has been my plea for a few months that I feel the love of God especially.

My little girl deeply desires to be loved. She is realizing in her pain, just how dry her little girl's heart is to be noticed and affirmed worthy. In a good way. Not a prideful way.

Right now I am still called into hiddenness in "certain parts" on my journey to freedom. During those times my flesh cries out to be noticed! My little girl feels the hurt. In her heart of abuse, neglect and abandonment from her past. It is still a deep wound and a painful area to be in at this time!!

On the whole, I believe I have much more to learn before my Heavenly Daddy releases me in this particular area. Frankly, I do not think I would be able to handle the attention full force right now. As much as my heart aches for the attention and to come out of hiding, my Daddy knows best. He is having me stay in the background......for now. Molding and making me more like Him. Maturing me. Developing me. Refining areas that are rough and abrasive. Making sure once I come out of hiding I will have enough resources in Him to stand firmly. Forever continuing to seek and depend on Him as I continue to find my true self!

Hiddenness is an essential quality of the spiritual life. Solitude, silence, ordinary tasks, being with people without great agendas, sleeping, eating, working, playing … all of that without being different from others, that is the life that Jesus lived and the life he asks us to live.

It is in hiddenness that we, like Jesus, can increase “in wisdom, in stature, and in favour with God and with people” (Luke 2:51). It is in hiddenness that we can find a true intimacy with God and a true love for people.

Even during his active ministry, Jesus continued to return to hidden places to be alone with God. If we don’t have a hidden life with God, our public life for God cannot bear fruit.

One of the reasons that hiddenness is such an important aspect of the spiritual life is that it keeps us focused on God. In hiddenness we do not receive human acclamation, admiration, support, or encouragement. In hiddenness we have to go to God with our sorrows and joys and trust that God will give us what we most need.

In our society we are inclined to avoid hiddenness. We want to be seen and acknowledged. We want to be useful to others and influence the course of events. But as we become visible and popular, we quickly grow dependent on people and their responses and easily lose touch with God, the true source of our being. Hiddenness is the place of purification. In hiddenness we find our true selves.

by Henri Nouwen
Happy New Year


  1. Really excellent Post! Wishing you a Happy New Year!

  2. HI GRACE - lovely reading and I see and respect the message. And if I may, Jesus, in his wisdom asks all of us to be broken and poured out so others can have hope - and it is in the not being hidden that we honor the truest meaning of Eucharist......
    Love Gail

  3. I'm in the same part you are in. I want constant affection and love. This is why I get mad if I can't feel Jesus or Daddy's presence! I have many hurts from feeling never good enough having to go out of my comfort zone to please them. But Jesus has showed me that that's not love and the only love I feel actually fulfilled is spending time with Jesus. I don't know, but I'm on this weird journey or a constant "want". I like attention, but I like Jesus' more! Blessings and happy new year JBR!

  4. Hi JBR,
    Being hidden in the LORD is a good place to be. You will know when the time is right to come out for He will lead you.

    Have a blessed New Year. Here we come 2013!!


  5. Hugs to you, Grace. Wishing you peace and healing in the New Year.

  6. Grace, this post is amazingly insightful. May God bless you as we enter the New Year and may He continue to heal your wounds. Though I haven't been online much in the past few months I do keep you in my prayers.

  7. JBR very insightful. May 2013 be the year of a love breakthrough for you! God Bless.

  8. Happy New Year to you JBR!!! May this year bring you nearer to Him!!! Blessings...

  9. Best to you and thank-you for this post. It is something I have not thought of in a long time and I will ponder this in my heart.


  11. happy New year!

    I like what you said. I'm gonna try and make this a better year for myself. Self absorbing isn't a good thing. Reaching out to help others is my goal.

  12. Jessica WooleyJanuary 01, 2013

    Just be real I've read some of your past posts you have displayed on your blog. It hurts me to see howmuch I do relate to your abuse and neglect. Also noticing that our Heavenly Father is the anchor of our pain. I walk with you on your journey as I continue to walk on mine. You will not be alone. -Jessica-

  13. JBR, you ARE worthy - Jesus would never have died for you otherwise. Many safe hugs.

  14. Happy New Year to you sister

  15. 'A man shall be a hiding place from the wind ...' Good to have our life hid with Him!

  16. Hi JBR,
    I pray that you have victory in 2013 on your journey to freedom in Christ Jesus. I keep you in my prayers and may the Lord bless you and keep you.

  17. Excellent post. Praying that 2013 will be a beautiful year for you. ((HUGS))

  18. Sister, I can just see the maturity in your faith through your words. Praying that you will know that through the process, Jesus is with you every step of the way. In the furnace of affliction He is with you.

    Your devotional thoughts are so similar to the message in my latest book, "empty." It seems a LOT of people are relating to this right now. Praying that your emptiness will be filled with the fullness of Christ and that your faith will be strengthened in ways that make you "ready for anything" in the journey ahead!
    Love and hugs,

  19. Hiddenness is important. Thanks for this post. Quiet and unhurried time with God is what we all need.

  20. thats the beauty of hidden memory maybe...

  21. So true that if we don't have a hidden life with God, our public life will not bear fruit. Very important no matter who we are! I pray that you will know that you are loved truly and fully! A blessed new year! Patsy from

  22. "Hiddenness is a place of purification." I love this. It is so true. We need the time to be hidden in order to experience what is inside of us. This is so important, yet our tendency is to want approval or the attention of others. Nice to find your blog here. I'm blogging 365 Inspirations for this year at http://www.lessonsfromthemonkimarried.blogspot.com

  23. What an amazing post, I am truly touched and relate to it very much. I have also learned so much by reading it one of which is, I am certainly not alone in my hiddeness.


  24. Hi hon,
    You have on my mind a lot over the past week. Just sending you some hugs and letting you know I am praying for you. Hope all is well and your new year has started smoothly.


  25. I am one who loves to retreat, those are the quiet times when I feel closest to the Lord.