and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23
My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.
Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.
Daddy let me be secure in You only!
Friday, December 21, 2012
Now it makes sense. Being I conditioned myself as a young girl that way. To protect and survive the trauma of my upbringing. Tuning and zoning out was my safe haven. No wonder I was such a poor student at school. I never paid attention.
Now, that I want to listen and retain what I hear these days, I am finding out just how difficult it is. Someone could tell me "so what do you think about what such and such said?" Having a blank look on my face as like did I miss something? Where was I? My body was present, but my mind was not.
I am beginning to understand of how much of life I missed out by tuning out! Aggravating to me now. Which is a good thing I suppose. Because I want to be in the present. To be able to comprehend and know what is going on. I really have no reason now to want to zone out. I just need patience with this healing.
You know, this may have something also to do with the recent enormous fear I have been experiencing while lying down and looking up at the ceiling at church. See HERE. Sensing something so terrible/evil that my little girl,still arrested, cannot handle. Let alone remember right now. But, whatever it is, it is getting closer.
"Heavenly Daddy help me to be patient as You continue to heal and put together my damaged thoughts. Giving me healthy and vibrant recall. Daddy I also ask when I approach the fear with the black abyss ceiling, that You show me what is going on. It is even frightening to even think about what is out there. Right now I do not know and my little girl is scared to face the unknown. Daddy help me to remember to call on You when I open my eyes and face the fear! In Jesus' name, amen."