"Yet a time is coming
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23

My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.

Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.

Daddy let me be secure in You only!

Thursday, March 14, 2013

SOAKING TEARS

For those of you who may not be familiar with the term "soaking," within the Christian realm, it is a time where either live or recorded prophetic anointed worship/praise music is present. At this time one can take in the Presence of the Lord by soaking in what you are hearing and what is being revealed to your heart through the Spirit.

I find lying down is the best posture for me with soaking. But, you can also do it standing or sitting.

Therapy today consisted of me sharing about my soaking time. While soaking recently, tears came hot and heavy from deep within my "well." I like that term "well." My therapist used it today. At the same time, I find myself questioning God, this does not feel good. I want to feel Your comfort Daddy. I do not feel that. In fact, I really do not know what I am feeling except what I would describe as deep grieving. But I don't know what hurts so much to make me grieve specifically. Was told today that it has been a lot of years of pain that I never have grieved about. Only God knows for sure what these deep soaking tears are about.

My therapist told me also to just let God do what He needs to do in order to continue to heal. There is no form. If I cry, then cry. Relax, rest and let go! Again, I may never know what I am crying about. But, my Spirit does.

So, the deeper I go into my "well" of pain, to heal, the greater the reward will be as I burst forth in receiving the joy and freedom that awaits me!

I put below a sample of prophetic soaking music. One that really ministers to me.

I just now listened to this healing soaking again below. The Holy Spirit told me to. That things would become a bit more clearer. Showing me a glimpse of what my Spirit is grieving about.

There is something powerful in this particular soaking.

So, I went to tears immediately and like having painful flashbacks of my lost childhood. I see visual of my home. Fragrences, colors, weather tempts., trees, light, dark. Feel my little girl actually breathing so young. Other events flashing by. The very few times I had with my earthly father.

I can be soothed soaking and at the same time remember the painful emotions of unhappiness. Shutting down. Depression set in at such an early age. The fear. The loss. The loss of a family. The emptiness. The empty shell I became when all hope seemed lost when our family was lost to divorce. Fully consumed in pain.

My mind is tired.

13 comments:

  1. Beautiful music.

    Lifting you up as you mourn the hurt.

    <><

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  3. Sorry JBR I have some typing issues but this song was very beautiful and immediately I almost went into tears. I felt like my spirit wanted to say something. I cannot wait to do this, please continue to share I have gotten much worship music from you! ♥

    I'm having a hard time in my walk, I hit myself in anger, I felt distant from the Lord, I feel lost a bit too, but God is still holding my hand!

    Hugging any wounds you have JBR, blessings.

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  4. This is beautiful Grace; what an intimate time of worship and submission as you place yourself in a posture of rest in the Lord’s presence.

    Blessings as you place your trust in Him for an outcome of renewal. :)
    Denise

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  5. wishing you a beautiful weekend.

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  6. Hoping you find peace and healing and joy, Grace. Hugs to you.

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  7. Listening to this gives me shivers!! May the Lord bring deep rest and healing to your spirit, Grace. May He continue to bless you, anoint you and soak you in His Love.

    "You anoint my head with oil, my cup overflows."

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  8. I completely understand what you are saying about how you can be soothed by the music and also feel pain. I think music has the capacity to do that, which makes it incredible. Keep doing what you're doing. It sounds like it's therapeutic.

    Be well,
    NOS

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  9. I have experienced a deep sobbing followed by laughing that I couldn't understand. I didn't know why I was doing either and somebody explained that the Lord was bringing emotional healing. Praise God for all the creative ways He works! His ways are infinite! Going to go soak in the music you posted. Thanks. Many blessings on this journey!

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  10. You are in my prayers today. Thanks for sharing.

    C

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  11. I know we have to grieve the past if we haven't grieved before. Feeling the feelings we had back then is good for us, even if they hurt.

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