Had group last night. Thus far, I come away from there drained and feeling beat-up. Beat-up and exhausted mentally and physically (body tired achy, headaches) in I guess you can say a positive way.
This morning I feel a bit troubled from last night, but in a way I should not be surprised. I know I have difficulty connecting my mind to my heart when it comes to emotions and feelings, and it was pretty evident last night. Even though I am trying to be hopeful, some times I find the "word" let alone the feeling, really not in my vocabulary. But, I continue to strive for hopefullness, even though I feel I go "backwards" many a time (which is the norm), I also know there is progress. Progress in knowing "that I am not where I used to be."
Usually takes me a few days to process afterwards what transpired in group each week, and this will be no different. I am dead tired this morning and I find going to work the day after group, and trying not to look like a zombie more of a challenge. I am grateful the weekend comes quickly in order that I can continue to process, re-group, catch up on some sleep, and get myself prepared to do this all over again next week! Yea!
All kidding aside ……I know God has me in the right place, especially when I continue to question myself, “There is nothing wrong with me, I am not that bad, I should not be here.”
Oh yes I should!
You will find your way.
ReplyDeleteI'm a little curious about what kind of therapy you're doing in this group.
Be at peace.
Ana
You know, I feel like I am still healing after the healing is complete. I think if we are honest, there is a humbleness that we need to have, one that will let our Lord work in our lives. You are going to do fine and God is with you all the way. I love being with older women, I learn so much from them. God bless ya gal, the weekend is almost here.
ReplyDeleteI think it's important to always remember that you're making progress. "Progress in knowing "that I am not where I used to be." " I try to keep this is mind too. I am doing much better than I was years ago. It seems that it takes so much time to feel that a person is moving forward but we have to hang on to the fact that we are indeed doing just that.
ReplyDeleteHeavy session you are experiencing. Hope in time it will get better for you.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you! I'm lifting you up in prayer!
ReplyDeleteThank you for visiting again. Blessed me that you feel blessed. And keep on keepin on. You will find your way. And it is ok for it to suck in the meantme. :0)
ReplyDeleteJust be real - that is all that God expects. He can work with us and He expects us to do that!
ReplyDeleteYou have a wonderful blog! Elaine
ReplyDelete"“There is nothing wrong with me, I am not that bad, I should not be here.”
ReplyDeleteOh yes I should!"
This is "perfect" for me to read right now! Thank you. Seems like everywhere I turn there is help 'hiding' under, behind, or deep within...during the past hour.
Steve E.
we love you....you have God and that is good. group very rough for us too....so much pain.....
ReplyDelete