"Yet a time is coming
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23

My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.

Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.

Daddy let me be secure in You only!

Thursday, May 21, 2009


Today was extremely rough for me. Once again I felt I was out of sorts to the degree I got the shakes. Like I was going through withdrawals or something. My whole body felt totally exhausted, nauseated at times and dragging. The physical part of my journey has a way of taking its toll on me just as much as the emotional. Did not have waves of anything today, partly because (1) I was just plain too tired; and (2) I did not want to feel anything.

Had to leave work early and try and rest, as I felt so physically sick. I had every opportunity and excuse to use to try and get out of going to “group” tonight, but I made myself go despite how I was feeling as we were continuing with the topic of anger.

Seriously, I must have tuned out most things in my youth that seemed threatening to me, except enjoying playing sports from dawn to dusk, as I cannot recall how I expressed my anger as a child. Certainly must have stuffed it. I can remember my parents showing their anger…….but me…..hmmmmm…. hard to come by. I need to stop here....I am just too brain dead, feeling ill but grateful I arrived home in one piece.

Oh, b/t/w took the “fastest route” home tonight from group for those of your who are interested!


  1. I hope you rest well tonight. Be careful on that "fastest route" !

  2. :(
    I can offer a safe virtual hug...if you'd like one...I hope you're feeling better soon...
    I am reading and I care..

  3. JBR...hope you mean the "shortest" route--not the "fastest". But then Look Who's Talkin'...ME?

  4. JBR, it is fab that despite how you felt you did go to group. You do stick to your way. That is quite an achievement when so exhausted. While I am writing to you I hope that you get some rest. Thinking of you and send a hug across the pond.

  5. fastest route works for me, heee heee heee, although i'm sure i shouldn't say it! anyway, rest up, the weekend's around the corner, take some slow you time... hugs and love to you!

  6. stuck-in-the-middleMay 22, 2009

    JBR very sorry you became ill. I'm sure its not a wonderful experience to be going through everyting. Hang on!

  7. I hope you get to feeling better soon... be kind to yourself my friend... I will be gone all weekend, so will see you on Tuesday...

  8. I believe that if you just keep working at 'JUST BEING REAL' things will improve - your health and your spiritual and emotional well-being.

    Sometimes we have to go through really rough patches in order to dislodge whatever is trying to stay hidden. God can help.

    Love and prayers your way,
    Prayer girl

  9. Hey you, yes, you will go through this. We do not realize how much power our flesh has. But you need to take control of it. Paul said it best in 1 Corinthians 9:27, "But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway." Castaway means good witness. You have to take control of that flesh and tell it that you are in control of it. This is what I am going through right now. If I do not take control of it, it is going to kill me. I am praying for you, and you are a overcomer, you are going to get through this. God is blessing you and He is right with you. Take care Real gal and I am here always. Love Tanya

  10. I will pray for you.

  11. I really feel for you, I know how draining emotions can be. Just a thought it may be none of my business but do you see a medical doctor who can maybe give you a Rx to help you with the anxiety/depression you have. I can't wait until this is all past you my friend.

  12. AnonymousMay 22, 2009

    I was hoping by now you would be finding some relief. I'm so sorry to hear you aren't. I guess you can at least take comfort in the fact that each day brings you closer to better days. I hope that won't be far in the future for you.

  13. May you be able to rest and someday, have a complete healing by God's grace. God bless.

  14. And now I am no more in the world, but these are in the world, and I come to thee. Holy Father, keep through thine own name those whom thou hast given me, that they may be one, as we are.

    That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou hast sent me.

    And the glory which thou gavest me I have given them; that they may be one, even as we are one:
    ohn 17:11;21-22

  15. Something similar happened to me when I started making progress in therapy and finally learned how to be IN my body. Safe hugs, dear ((((((JBR))))))

  16. I know we just met because you are now following my blog. I just wanted to say I hope things do get better for you. When things go crazy for me I feel better when I write my thoughts down. What kind of group do you go to. If you need a hug I am sending one your why. Take care.

  17. Once in awhile I would get the same symptoms. Sometimes I wondered if my blood sugar was to low. I hope all will be well with you.

  18. Hi, popping in to check on you. Hoping you feel not worse today. Keep you in my thoughts. Big hug across the pond xx