"Yet a time is coming
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23

My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.

Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.

Daddy let me be secure in You only!

Sunday, June 07, 2009

BOUNDARIES


These past few days have been really rough for me. But, thank God for His written Word. Although at times it has been very difficult for me to even open the Bible to regain some strength from reading His promises.

I borrowed the book, “Boundaries” by Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend from a friend and have been reading a bit from it over the weekend also. The book has been highly recommended.

(from the inside cover of the book)


“Is your life out of control?
Do people take advantage of you?
Do you have trouble saying no?
Are you disappointed with God
because of unanswered prayers?”

Physical boundaries help us determine who may touch us and under what circumstances.

Mental boundaries give us the freedom to have our own thoughts and opinions.

Emotional boundaries help us to deal with our own emotions and disengage from the harmful, manipulative emotions of others.

Spiritual boundaries help us to distinguish God’s will from our own and give us renewed awe for our Creator.


I certainly am in the process of setting boundaries. At the same time I see how my boundaries have been crossed over, especially as a child. Unfortunately, a lot of us have experienced this. Terrible that at such a tender age we were abused and the ever-lasting effects of our 'particular' abuse carried over into adulthood, and screwed many of us up!!!

But, thank the good Lord, as terrible as our pasts were, there is always hope! Even if we do not understand why our abuse happened and we are ticked beyond belief!! I do know it is hard for many of us to comprehend the trauma, as I at times, but I am glad through the Grace of God and the leading of the Holy Spirit through counselling that I continue on my way to freedom!


30 comments:

  1. I have that book and I truly enjoyed reading that. There were lots of topics these men had explained in ways that all of a sudden made sense when it didn't before. May it help you as you go through the healing process. God bless you JBR!

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  2. I too have read the 'boundaries' book and found it quite helpful in my long journey. I also understand how depression can affect your spiritual life. Grant Mullen is a good author to look up when it comes to that. I will be back to visit again! Don't give up, I'm praying for you!
    Wendy Love

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  3. Rcubes and Wendy Love, thank you two for your insights into the book. Appreciate both of your encouragements.

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  4. The book sounds really good JBR, I must make note of it.

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  5. JBR, boundaries have always just been something for me to break down, like the farmers' fences. Even now, that I realize the necessity of boundaries, I still have that piece of me which want real bad to push them out as far as I can. One of my Email addresses' handles is TRBLMKR...now you knoe! -grin!
    Peace, with a hint of fun-trouble?

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  6. Stevie-Like your analogy of breaking down boundaries like farmer fences You and your 'fun-trouble' Stevie amuses me!

    AD-If you can dear, invest in the book.

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  7. JBR I've heard of the book from a friend. They said it was very informative. I just may take a gander and check it out. Praying for you.

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  8. I have this book too! I used to have almost no boundaries, but with confidence (partly from a deeper understanding of the love of the Holy One through my church)comes a renewed belief that boundaries are vital-that yes, I DO also deserve respect. I wish you good luck on your journey!

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  9. I read "Boundaries" many years and also did a study course from the book. It is one of the best books I have ever read...I still use those skills I learned during that time.
    Blessings and prayers, andrea

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  10. Good post. Setting boundaries have always been hard for me. Visit my blog Monday morning to see the award I have for you.

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  11. I read that book when I first started going to CoDA meetings about ten months ago. The book and the program have both been really helpful to me.

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  12. Can’t say I’ve heard of the book before. But, by reading what you posted sounds very good all around. Hope it does help you.

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  13. JBR, boundaries are still diffcult for me, to set as well as to detect. Much better than years ago, however a work in progress. I have taken note of this book, thanks for sharing. Big hug, keep you in my thoughts. Paula xx

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  14. Paula-Sorry boundar setting is still difficult for you dear. Do invest in the book if you can. ((((Paula))))

    Strawbery-Appreciate your comment dear, thank you.

    Shen-So glad that the book has helped you in your journey. Appreciate your visit. Blessings.

    Colleen-JBR is honored to receive the Golden Heart Award, thank you dear one!

    Andrea-Glad the book has benefited you dear, and that you continue to apply the tools. Blessings.

    K.C. Jones-It is awesome to read that you gained so much from the book and a deeper 'love' from God. Thank you for your visit. Blessings.

    Dee Dee-If you get the opportunity, please do check out the book. Thank you.

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  15. I've heard of that book numerous times from counselling friends but never had time to actually read it! Perhaps I ought to! I'm glad it seems helpful for you. I think boundaries can be SO difficult (one of the major areas of work I am doing in therapy at the moment is boundary related). I hope you can move towards healthy boundaries. :)

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  16. thesamesky-Appreciate you stopping by. Yes, establishing boundaries can certainly be difficult, but not impossible! I too only wish the best for you to move onward with healthy boundaries. Blessings.

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  17. that's a good subject to read up on, boundaries. mine where a mish-mash of criss-cross lines once upon a time, and although they still aren't 100% right, i know where they SHOULD be, so get there, they will eventually. i'll find yours too honey!

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  18. Glad you said 'once upon a time' for you dear one, even though they are still not 100% right, you know what you have established! Thank you Shadow...((((hugs))))

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  19. Sounds like a good book.

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  20. Thank you Denise, so far so good. Appreciate your comment.

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  21. stuck-in-the-middleJune 08, 2009

    Sounds like a very good book JBR. Hope it helps.

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  22. This was a refreshingly honest post. Last December I drew the line around my boundaries and have experienced incredible freedom. I just said NO to the guilty obligations. I just said NO to the things I was doing for recognition or from habit. Thehn I was able to say YES to the things that freed my mind and spirit to go higher and be more for Him. This book sounds like it is starting you down a good road!

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  23. twofinches-Your encouraging post is certainly welcomed, thank you for sharing dear one.

    stuck-Thank you dear!

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  24. You wrote, "Even if we do not understand why our abuse happened and we are ticked beyond belief!! I do know it is hard for many of us to comprehend the trauma, as I at times, but I am glad through the Grace of God and the leading of the Holy Spirit through counseling that I continue on my way to freedom!"

    My idea is that the abuse happened because the other person or persons were very, very sick individuals. It had nothing to do with me. Even though that is what I think.... my little girl insides still want to revert to the idea that there was something wrong with me that made it happen (that is how 'little people' think).

    Thank God for my AA and Al-Anon programs that help me turn this programmed "there's something wrong with me" self-talk around. What's in there like that is a lie and the truth that the other person was sick is the truth that can set me free.

    Prayers and blessings for you to reach the other side of this emotional and mental conflict soon.

    Prayer Girl

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  25. Prayer Girl, certainly appreciate your prespective that "we" had no control what was going on at that age. We knew no other way, just something was wrong, wrong, wrong.

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  26. Yes, this is an excellent book -- recommended by my therapist and seconded by me . . . thanks for calling our attention to it!

    - Marie (Coming Out of the Trees)
    http://mmaaggnnaa.wordpress.com/

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  27. Hi Marie. Happy the book benefited you!

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  28. "Terrible that at such a tender age we were abused and the ever-lasting effects of our 'particular' abuse carried over into adulthood, and screwed many of us up!"

    I can really relate to this point. As a child I looked at adults wistfully, thinking they were virtually free from the sin, guilt and inner pain that haunted me. What a shock it was to reach adulthood and find the mess from my childhood catching up with me. Praise the Lord for seeing this mess and lovingly leading us out of it and onto freedom, as you've shared.

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  29. Hi JBR,
    I am reading your posts backwards as I am catching up on my blogs. This really sounds like a good book and I will look forward to some excerpts as you read.

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