THE EMERGENCY STAGE

****POSSIBLE TRIGGERS****
****EXPLICIT LANGUAGE****
Praying beforehand, I felt that if I give a disclaimer at the beginning of posts that I feel need attention to, like I do with “Possible Triggers” but also then mention “Explicit Language” it will give you the option of continuing or not.  I did not want to ‘waterdown’ the actual language in the book and lose the effect of what is being said and experienced.  So, when you see these warnings, please take note and “be gentle with yourself.”

“Many women go through a period when sexual abuse is literally all they can think about.  You may find yourself talking about it obsessively with anyone who will listen, having uncontrollable flashbacks, crying all day long, or unable to go to work.  Your life may be full of overwhelming crises.  You may dream about your abuser or be afraid to sleep.” (The Courage to Heal)

Laura Davis, one of the authors of this book shares:

“I just lost it completely.  I wasn’t eating.  I wasn’t sleeping.  I did hold down a job at Winchell‘s Donuts.  But I was afraid to stay in the house alone.  I would go out in the middle of the night and hide somewhere, behind a dumpster or something.  I had terrible nightmares about my father.  I was having all kinds of fantasies.  I’d hear the sound of my father’s zipper coming down, the click of the buckle.  Then I’d imagined all this blood.  Physically, I was a mess.  I had crabs.  I hadn’t bathed in a month.  I was afraid of the shower.”“The emergency stage is not something you choose, yet it must be ridden through to the other side.  It cannot be ignored or pushed away through a force of will.  As one survivor aptly remarked, “It’s like learning a new word.  Within days, you start seeing it in everything you read, and you never saw it before in your life.” (Courage To Heal)

The authors go on to state that in this emergency stage it is something we do not choose.  We all come from different backgrounds and experiences.  Some much more intense and devastating than others.  But, still we are damaged.  Early on in our recovery we have many words for what we are experiencing.  I know I have used the words to describe what I have been going through as a volcano slowly errupting, spewing out bits and pieces of matter.In surviving the “Emergency Stage:”

“Sometimes when you look at your healing and the shit you went through, it’s just so big.  The pain can be enormous.  You have to just put one foot in front of the other.  Don’t look at how big it is.  Just put one foot in front of the other.  And then when you look up, you’re someplace else.”  (Courage to Heal).  

I will end this post here.  Will pick up later on the topic of “Easing the Intensity of the Emergency Stage” in another post.  I do not want to post continually on this book one post after another.  We all need a breather.  I need a breather.  So, I will have lighter posts in-between like usual.  Well, if you can call “my life” of posts lighter.  Well, you know what I mean....