Even though the book continues to touch on areas of our pain (which I will continue to share), there are also practical things we need to do to help us in our recovery. I pray that this post will be an encouragement:
“We do not change in a vacuum. Your new choices will have repercussions on those around you. Your determination to change can sometimes be threatening to people in your life because it means they will have to change, too. Even though it’s change for the better, people don’t always willingly make the commitment to healthier living.
When you first remember your abuse or acknowledge it effects, you may feel tremendous relief. Finally there is a reason for your problems. There is someone, and something, to blame. But eventually you realize that things are not that simple–or fair.
One woman went to ten years of incest-related therapy before she realized she was the one responsible for changing her own life:
I had to go from dealing with the incest an hour a week in therapy to dealing with it in my real life. I realized I had to stop talking at forty dollars an hour (1980's) and start doing. It’s a lot cheaper to fix yourself on your own time than to depend on an hour a week to get better. I could talk therapy with anyone who had the lingo, but I had to realize I wasn’t taking care of myself in real life.
I decided to change my life and take responsibility for what was happening to me. I started asking myself questions like, ‘What did I do to immobilize myself? Why did I stay in an abusive relationship?’
And then I started taking care of my own life. I changed my relationships. I changed my job. I changed my home. I started taking care of business! I filed suit against my ex-lover for assault. I got money back that I had loaned out. I fought a custody battle against my ex-husband. I started getting angry. I started to cry. I’ve really changed. I look different. I sound different. I changed my life intentionally.” (The Courage to Heal)
That is what we need to do!
I am in the process of changing my life intentionally also!
The tools we learn to cope with in our your journey in recovery are vital, but also vital is our understanding to move forward.
I know I am much stronger today, then a year ago....in so many areas of my life to God be the glory!
JBR, I have an award for you over at my blog. Mill of hugs. Paula
ReplyDeleteJBR glad you see the progress you've made over the year. Keep it up!
ReplyDeleteIts good that you put pratical helps in with your posts. God Bless.
ReplyDeleteGreat post, I think it can apply to anyone who's gone through trauma in their life.
ReplyDeleteExcellent post! I am also in the changing pattern of life and know that I am way different than I was two years ago when I finally knew I was tired of hearing my own story..it locked me up. No more!
ReplyDeleteThank you again for some reality posting.
Laura
*High Five* to JBR!!
ReplyDelete(((HUGS))
To hear that you're much stronger today...that is worth celebrating for! For you continue to remain trusting in His leading and by His grace, you will overcome. Blessings.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad your strong! Still praying for you. :)
ReplyDeleteHey all, appreciate your encouraging words. Yes, I can see improvement in me from a year ago. All in the journey and all in the trust of God and good people also! Still, there is much more to accomplish and defeat!
ReplyDeleteYea ~ JBR! Throwing confetti and passing out party hats. You inspire me with your tenacity & strength....
ReplyDelete~ Grace
hey, wow, yeah! we do need to DO it ourselves for it to work.
ReplyDeleteThanks Shadow and Grace! Appreciate your comments very much!! Glad I can be an inspiration.
ReplyDeleteI am so proud of the changes in your life, you are awesome sweetie.
ReplyDeleteJBR,
ReplyDeleteAnd with each day you can put behind you makes you that much more stronger than you were yesterday. Congratulations on seeing these changes within yourself each day.
Love and Hugs ~ Kat
I have been in recovery for 11 years and my family of origin still refuses to make positive changes. That is one of the MANY reasons why my relationships with them are strained.
ReplyDeleteIt is so very hard to surround ourselves with healthier people when we have spent our lives living and coping with dysfunction.