"Yet a time is coming
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23

My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.

Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.

Daddy let me be secure in You only!

Monday, August 03, 2009

PUPPET ON A STRING


Want to share with you that I stood up once again (usually a daily occurrence, but thought I would blog about this one) with my boundaries against my mother who continues to try and run my life. Even though I still feel the anger and resentment boil up in me when she continues to question me on things, especially how I look, my hair, or what I wear, I was able to say graciously “you do not need to tell me how to present myself.” Naturally, that did not go over well and more of the guilt crap came out of her mouth saying, “I only want the best for you.” NOT! She does not realize how insulting she can be!!! I mentioned that to her one time, and that was NOT a good idea as she went off on me on that!

No wonder I feel such shame. My dad was equally as bad.

Just accept freakingly who I am okay!!!!! You think you can do that???

Anyway, I was able to turn the conversation around like I normally do and get the focus off of myself in order to end our conversation amicably.

23 comments:

  1. Ouch. I feel this. I understand it. And I hate that you have to go through that with people who are supposed to be in your corner. Sarah

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  2. So sorry sweetie. Be who you are, which is a wonderful person.

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  3. This is a pretty common tale among those on the journey. Those who helped make us what we became don't easily stop trying, most likely, it was done to them too. They are unaware that the words they think say one thing are actually telling us another. It takes time and straight up honesty. You done good sounds like. Praise God for change eh?

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  4. you are a great person!we all have bad things said to us in our past.one of the things I heard why can't you be as good in school as your sisters?There were other things said.I have since forgiven those hurtful things said,the final words that were said are the most important ones."I'm so proud of you!"That makes up for a lot of the hurt.that ias what my parents said to me before they passed away.That is what I hold onto.

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  5. I am sorry you have to be "the grown up" in this relationship. I know you are a grown up, but you know what I mean. As a MOM, it bothers me to hear other mothers (parents) talk to their kids this way. As a daughter, I experienced the same things. It breaks my heart because I know the pain.
    I am praising GOD for your steadfastness and determination to change the subject and redirect your mother. GOD BLESS YOU, sweet one! Hang in there!
    Blessings and prayers, andrea

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  6. Good for you that you are standing your ground. I know it isn't always easy. I had to fight that same battle. You get stronger with each victory-- no matter how small. Keep going!

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  7. JBR ~ God says you are His creation, and He made you just the way He wanted. Each creation of His is faceted like a beautiful gem. I don't know how she'd take it, but you might tell her that next time.

    I use to have a guy who would say suggestive things to me. He thought he was being funny. I would respond, "God doesn't want you talking to me like that." He was a church going man. When I'd say that, he'd be quiet. It's amazing what the name of Jesus can accomplish. But then we shouldn't be surprised at that! God bless you JBR, you are a bright and lovely light for so many!

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  8. JBR,
    I so remember those days..... O Yes! This week when my mom proudly told me about how my sister was talking to my ex-boyfriend in highschool about how proverty stricken I was, and how I wear old lady clothes.. OUCH! Those thorns do hurt. Jesus is making a crown of thorns for us to wear in heaven with Him. You gotta love them. They really do mean well.... I am a mother of five. Still I guess all us parents are guilty. :)
    Hugs!

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  9. Wow, well done! I struggle so much with this. So used to letting people walk all over me. I find it so difficult to do without rage.

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  10. Bravo, friend...Bravo!! :)

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  11. I'm glad you stood up for yourself! You don't need help in who you are!

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  12. I'm still learning how to do this. I am usually the last to know when someone is trying to hurt me knowingly or unknowingly. some people just don't get how it affects another person. Good for you for standing on your own two feet. Hugs. Tammy

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  13. Thank God I finally got old, and my parents are now "in God's Hands" (they always were!). HE can deal with all that crap now.
    PEACE
    500 dumb Jackasses.

    (When am I going to forget those days???)

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  14. Thank you all for your kind words of encouragement. As always, everyone of you is truly appreciated! ♥

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  15. Such a pity that you've got such a controling mother. Sorry. Hopefully she can get on with her own life.

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  16. I'm glad you did it! You are a true diplomat.

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  17. I see our conversations with our parents being a work in progress especially as we get older. Knowing how to bridge that gap is the challenge and one that needs to be met on both ends. We need to see the goal and keep that in our focus as we move across the bridge and meet in the middle.

    Love and Hugs ~ Kat

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  18. Perhaps you should tell your mother that "If she changes the way she looks at things, the things she looks at will change"

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  19. Awesome job standing up for yourself. NO ONE has the right to judge your appearance. That is never helpful. I know how hard it is, and I think your sentance: "you do not need to tell me how to present myself" was fair, clear and right on the mark.
    Good for you! I think the anger will fade as you become more sure of yourself.

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  20. You are an individual in your own right...we are all given choices, it is up to us which we choose, you cannot be controlled, only if you wish to be, and yes, I know it's hard, have been there myself, my love goes out to you my friend, you have a good heart

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  21. JBR-I got nothing. It sounds exhausting and ever-repeating. take care. ~rick

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  22. Have you tried addressing them head on - before they come at you - instead of trying fend off their attacks at their will?

    It worked with my mother, to an acceptable extent. I often just warded off her rudeness and snide comments, leaving me in a constant state of feeling ambushed. Finally, one day, she was in a decent mood, so I just jumped right in there and brought up her behavior towards me. I spoke from my heart and tried to avoid throwing accusations and snide remarks. She puffed up a bit and became defensive, but it was later visits to her house that told me she heard me.

    I wish you could do what you want w/o such scrutinizing from your parents - life is hard enough!

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  23. Been around negative folks like that. The more I practice self-acceptance.. and going to ACOA .. I can just be ME. I even find it humorist that others want to take my inventory. I can dress and look and live the way I want.. silly, if they want to dictate that on me.

    Of course I imagine harder when it is your mother doing it.

    My daughter let me know my answer machine message sounded dumb and annoyed her.. LOL... seriously.. I told her to come over and put a new one on for me. :)

    AT 23 she is sometimes a dry drunk.. like her grandfathers.. and I'm sad about it.. but I can't control it and I'm not taking it serious anymore. Too much wasted energy.. (I still have major slip ups.. but growing more each day).

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