"Yet a time is coming
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23

My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.

Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.

Daddy let me be secure in You only!

Thursday, September 03, 2009


The devotional arrived in my email this morning and is so timely:

If I go to the heavens, you are there; If I make my bed in the depths, you are there. Psalm 139:8

Sometimes life is hell. That's how it feels. It feels like we have taken up residence in hell. Sometimes the darkness overwhelms us. Sometimes we hurt so much that we can't imagine experiencing joy or peace ever again. Sometimes we seem to have 'made our bed ' in a place that God has deserted, a place from which God has turned away.

But the psalmist says 'even if I make my bed in the depths, you are there'. There are no genuinely God-forsaken places on our journey. There are no places unfamiliar to God. It is a difficult and painful journey, but our lines of support are not stretched thin. God is not at a distance. God is with us.

If God is with us, we can travel through those dark times in recovery, those times in hell. If God is with us, we can hold on through the difficult emotional and spiritual roller coaster of recovery.

No matter where I am, Lord you are with me.
If I am up, today. You are here.
If I am down. You are here.
If I am very, very down. You are still here.
If I am very, very, very, very, very down. You are here.
Thank you.
Even in the terrible times when I am in the depths, you are there with me.
Your presence is a ray of hope in the dark times of my recovery.

Copyright Dale and Juanita Ryan


  1. Great devotional. I can see where you can relate in your pain. I pray that God comforts you. God Bless.

  2. JBR,
    The best part of a roller coaster ride is the landing safely at the bottom and you just want to sit there and unwind before continuing to the next ride. I pray your times of rest are more then the uphill battle getting to the top.


  3. Beautiful verse, yes, God is with you, and so are your friends, all our love is with you. (hugs)

  4. Such a powerful devotion, thanks for sharing sweetie.

  5. stuck-in-the-middleSeptember 03, 2009

    Great post JRB. I can use it to.

  6. To think that people actually pay to get on these rides is incomprehensible to me. The fact that life gets that way sometimes is the very reason why I keep my face planted squarely in God's direction. Nice post.

  7. God is all around us -- what a beautiful message.

    Thank you for letting me bask in the warmth of your post...

  8. this is awesome. This is comforting. No more having to go it alone. Sarah

  9. Wow, dizzy as we are and nauseous at times from these crazy rides, it's comforting to know that He is in control, no matter what...I'm so glad that He never leaves us nor forsake us especially during those crazy rides in our lives. Blessings to you sister.

  10. i love your blog
    so inspirational :)

  11. Being Real is so hard sometimes when you are on that roller coaster ride of emotions. I have been on that roller coaster myself this week.

    At an Al-Anon meeting last night someone mentioned that they had been in a panic this week and still was last night. Someone else mentioned that with change comes grieving. Earlier in the week, I told someone that change of any kind, good, bad or in between, always has grieving attached to it.

    Last night at the meeting, I realized that, yes, I had been in a panic this week. The evidence of that was in my overeating for 3-4 days. I was really out of control with my eating. I didn't realize that my overeating was a sign of panic. Sometimes when I am in the middle of it, I can't label it. I can't give the emotion a name. I have also had change and grief in my life this week. Both of those I could easily label because most of my adult life, especially in recovery, I have dealt with change and grief.

    Thanks for writing and posting this very timely article. It really helped me.

  12. So, so, so beautiful, thank you very much. Today I need those words much. Warmest from Poland :-)

  13. If we can just remember in the down times He has not left us. Thank you for sharing an important truth to stand on.

  14. Awesome devotional!! THat is the problem with bible thumping speakers. They don't realize God does not expect us to be up and happy all the time. He knows we will stumble and fall. He knows we will mourn or feel sadness. He knows we will have bad days just as we have good. A healthy person in my opinion, experiences all emotions at any given time.

    Your are coming along more than you give yourself credit for my friend. Hang in there. Hugs. Tammy

  15. I just found your blog a few weeks ago. You inspire and encourage me to be real!

  16. JBR,

    So true and just when most of us think God will never allow us to experience anything bad in our lives, it just shows us that He never leaves. He is with us at every turn, every hill and every valley.

    Love and Hugs ~ Kat

  17. JBR, I want so desperately to feel him...
    I'm still here, admiring you...I hope you're doing okay.
    ~ Grace

  18. I can recall moments over the last 3 years of literally screaming "Where are you?" in pitch darkness sitting on my bed. It seemed He had vanished. It's only now looking back that I see He was there. Most likely crying with me because His silence was what I needed right then. Imagine listening to your children cry out in pain and you know the best thing for them is to let them hurt. I wonder now who hurt more.

  19. JBR, every time I read a post of yours I sit at my keyboard and try to find the words for how much your post has helped me. Today is no different. I just don't have the words.

  20. Nice post of encourangement in pain.

  21. Right on the money kid, there is no where we can travel that God is not there clearing the way. Walk, go ahead, just keep walking. You are getting to the place you are looking for.

  22. Wonderful devotional!