"Yet a time is coming
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23

My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.

Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.

Daddy let me be secure in You only!

Thursday, September 10, 2009


I felt led to post this article that I found on the internet about grief. This is rather lengthy, and something I normally would not post except this is not of my doing but the Holy Spirit’s. Some of you may be blessed, others may question:

Grief is something all of us experience at one time or another. The loss of a parent, a child, a spouse or a friend can devastate us. In our loss, it's often difficult to find comfort or understanding. What comfort can we get from the Bible? What does God promise us?

In Jesus, we have a comforter who understands what it is like to live in a human body and suffer the pain of human loss. “ For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and may find grace to help in time of need.” (Hebrews 4:15-16 NAS)

When Jesus lost His friend Lazarus, he wept. “Jesus wept. Then said the Jews, Behold how He loved him!” (John 11:35-36) Heartbreak and sorrow are not a mystery to our Lord. He knows them and has sympathy for our losses. But sympathy is little comfort to the woman that has to endure without her husband.

There is little physical or emotional comfort from grief. Part of living is surviving the death of a loved one. No matter how we try we can’t get around the aching, the pining and the loneliness. We also experience anger, both at God and the one who has left us. Depression, anxiety, and guilt are common feelings for those in grief.

During these times, it would be so easy to pull away from God and blame Him for the pain we feel. His shoulders are big enough for our anger so rail away at Him if it helps for a bit. But take the time to reflect on the comfort He offers us, too. We will be reunited:

“ For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who have fallen asleep in Jesus. For this we say to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive, and remain until the coming of the Lord, shall not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trumpet of God; and the dead in Christ shall rise first. Then we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and thus we shall always be with the Lord. “ (1 Thessalonians 4:14-17 NAS)

Share your tears with God. Sometimes, the tears of grief are really a prayer, even when there are no words. Tears help wash away some of the grief. It feels like there is a bottomless well of tears, especially when our grief is fresh. As you cry, reflect on what John says in Revelation 21:4, “And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away” (KJV)

Tears will come when you least expect them. Those things that you imagine will be painful aren’t so much and things you don’t expect to be painful will hurt miserably. It’s natural to start isolating yourself a little or even a lot so as not to have to deal with public displays of grief. You may even find that after a week or two, no one much wants to hear about your grief except those who grieve with you or have experienced a similar kind of grief. The loneliness of grief starts to compound. Yet there is One there for you. One who has promised never to leave your or forsake you. That One is God and He is ready to hear you. “Casting all your care upon Him; for He careth for you.” (1 Peter 5:7 KJV)

Your tears are so precious to God in fact that He records each one of them and stores them. ”You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in Your bottle. You have recorded each one in Your book. “ (Psalm 56:8 NLT) He so wants to help you through this and carry the burden for you. Jesus says, “Come unto Me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn of Me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For My yoke is easy, and My burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30 KJV)

Grief often brings guilt along with it. All kinds of “if only” statements will pop up. If only I had made him go to the doctor, if only I had been driving, if only I didn’t let her go out that night. I know the pain of these “if only” darts. My beloved died of a heart attack despite my efforts at CPR. There is no fruit on the ‘if only’ tree, only despair. Be prepared to fight off these arrows with the truth, “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28 KJV)

Yes, I do know that it seems like no good can come from your loss. And, it will probably not feel like it for a long time. Eventually, you will see how God allows you to use your pain to ease someone else’s burden. And this seems like poor payment for your loss. It surely is. For you. But not for the person that you are able to help. If you look around you, you will see people in your life who have suffered a loss ready and willing to help you through your loss. This is what God promises. “All praise to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ . He is the source of every mercy and the God who comforts us. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When others are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4 NLT)

The awful truth is that nothing will make your grief go away and it may go on for a very long time. The comforting truth is that God is there to help you and sustain you through it. Reach out and take His hand. Let Him hold you and carry you through this. “Draw nigh to God, and He will draw nigh to you.” (James 4:8a KJV)

(Author unknown)

You know, after reading this a few times, it occurred to me that a lot of us (I am in the process myself) have not really grieved for our own losses. Not necessarily for a loved one, but for the abuse, neglect, emotional/physical hurts we endured. The above can certainly relate to any of our situations.

It is never too late to grieve.


  1. Thank you so very much for sharing this my friend, keep holding His hand, He will not let you fall.

  2. Grieving our losses is indeed a part of the healing process and sometimes a difficult one.

    Blessings, andrea

  3. and it's because we haven't grieved the way we should have, that we end up with unnecessary baggage...

  4. This is a said truth, this is the truth that helps me. I so often though even now forget to cry for myself to got at how bad it hurts. Easy is it to be compels for me to comfort another with the same comfort t with which He comforted me .....but to comfort ME with it is a forgotten art most oft.
    This a most excellent reminder
    thank you

  5. Thank you for sharing this. It seems that grieving for our lost childhoods is an important step to healing. Take care! <3

  6. Abuse causes losses. These losses do need to be grieved for. It takes time and the help of God.

  7. grief is an undulating emotion that only flat lines when we call on Jesus to take it on for us...and when we know the hope of Heaven and believe on it :)
    great post

  8. Tears are good. I often feel better after a good cry. The grief that I did not deal with properly as a child revisited me in my adult years. Now I mourn and place everything in God's hands.
    Excellent post!

  9. JBR,

    This is a great post! It seems like so many people are in that stage right now and these are some great ideas to help people move through the various stages of grief. Even God understands, He watched His own son ridiculed, mocked, beaten, tortured and murdered on the cross for no reason. He alone understands better than all of us.

    Love and Hugs ~ Kat

  10. Thank you so much for sharing. You know, it's amazing, I was really NEEDING to find your site today. I happened to click on a random follower on my blog, and it brought me to you. Thank you for sharing words that I so need right now!



  11. The other day I was reading one of my old posts, from over a year ago, and you had left a comment there. That comment lead me to your blog yesterday, and for that I am so grateful!
    Thanks for sharing this.

  12. Thanks for stopping by my blog! I always love new visitors.


  13. Grieving is difficult, especially when the grief is for something long past but is still new to me - like my childhood. There is no one to point a finger at, no one to make it better. Grieving also pulls me in and I get stuck in it. Very good article.

  14. JBR,
    Really good post on grief. For me, grieving my losses from childhood was an important step to becoming free from depression.I heard somewhere that depression is unresolved grief. It is hard to let ourselves cry, especially when we have been told "just get over it" by authority figures in our lives. For me, I had to let myself cry over things I lost, to move forward.

    It was definitely worth the process

    Thanks for the post.


  15. Our losses--can we name them? Can we accept them? Can we grieve them properly?

    Your post has me thinking about the things that are gone that can not be replaced, things stripped away by abuse when I was small such as the belief that I was loveable, that I was pretty (rather than being a sex object), and that I was valuable. It is tragic how many of us lost such things. It hurts to think about it for myself or for others. It is sad. It is wrong.

    In God, I can face the sadness and accept it. I can also marvel at how God is with me in it all and comforts me and heals me. That truth acknowledged--it is still frightening for me to face all the boxed up feelings that I shoved away in order to live through abuses.

    Now that I am safe in an abuse-free home, I am slowly opening up to feelings that seems so overwhelming. But once they are out in the open, I make it through them, and then feel better. Sometimes, though, I grab some chocolate or ask my husband to hold me in a hug or look at my counselor with big eyes as I process the pain...

  16. This is such an amazing connection. So often I have heard in session that I haven't allowed myself to grieve for what I have lost. I don't think of my life that way. I grieve for what happened, but not what didn't happen. Full acceptance and recovery cannot happen without doing both.