"Yet a time is coming
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23

My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.

Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.

Daddy let me be secure in You only!

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

ABANDONMENT TWIST


More clarity was revealed in tonight's t. session. Even though I am still processing, an interesting twist to why I feel abandonment was discovered.

All along I thought the main culprit to these feelings stemmed from my father, (not saying that there may be some of that there too) but it turns out in all likelihood the main culprit is my mother. In what I have been able to process thus far, it makes total sense. The threat of someone else monopolizing my mother’s time over me (i.e. when my mother remarried when I was a child, her attention went to him) proved to be devastating. So devastating, it reflected how I have handled and viewed my personal relationships. So devastating, the emotional pain that I inflict on myself by my messed up thinking has caused many years of anguish for me. The bonding that I received from my mother as a child was not healthy, but toxic. Which in essence has screwed up my perception on many things.

28 comments:

  1. (((Hugs)))

    Abandonment is my biggest issue to overcome.

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  2. God can, and will cleanse from all toxins sweetie.

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  3. I think somehow God will give you back more than you ever imagined. Keep working through your pain. In the end, you will be blessed.

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  4. So glad you are having those moments of clarity. I appreciate the hard work you're doing... growing past our hurts and hangups is never easy!

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  5. Abandonment issues are the hardest. I believe your faith is strong and you will overcome. You are really working hard and it shows. Stay true to yourself. {{{{{JBR}}}}}

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  6. It can be amazing the stuff we learn about ourselves in therapy. Keep at it.

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  7. You work hard volunteering for a good cause--YOU! And it pays a salary, so little at a time--but lasting...lasting!

    PEACE!

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  8. As painful as it may be it is so good you are getting things sorted out.

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  9. JeffersholdingOctober 07, 2009

    Great blog and post.
    This may help..
    Abandonment represents core human fear. We have all experienced it. When a relationship ends, the feelings harken all the way back to our lost childhoods when we were helpless, and dependent. Our adult functioning temporarily collapses.We feel shattered, bewildered, condemned to loneliness. As we apply the tools of recovery, at the bottom of abandonment's pain, we discover a wellspring of positive change.

    Abandonment is a cumulative wound containing all of the losses and disconnections stemming all the way back to childhood.

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  10. decisions made with incorrect facts, make incorrect decisions... nothing you could have done to prevent it....

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  11. stuck-in-the-middleOctober 07, 2009

    JBR its great to see the breakthroughs and strides you've have accomplished on your road. Hang in there!

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  12. OK now that you know JBR; how do you abandon the feelings resulting from the abandonment?

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  13. Sounds like good progess for you from yesterday! Encouraging words and insites from this post. Thanks.

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  14. My mother has even commented to me that she believes I have abandonment issues from my childhood where it concerns her...

    yepp...me thinks so too....

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  15. A great wonder how God shows up with words of wisdom. God Bless.

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  16. Thank you all for your comments!!

    This process is just that, a process. Resulting in the Holy Spirit doing a major emotional "surgical" work in my heart. A healing process which will take time, when I am ready, when I am ready to face the ultimate! The time is drawing close, that is one thing I can certainly sense.

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  17. I do believe you're on to something there. It makes perfect sense to me.

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  18. Good morning~

    You are making strides, my friend! :> ) God will continue to do a good work in YOU!

    Praying for your continued healing!

    Blessings~
    Laura

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  19. It makes sense hon. With me the abandonment of my mother was the fact she didn't protect me or believe me. My mother blamed me for my stepfathers abuse. I was the cause and reason for the monster.

    It scars you internally not to have that love, that support from your own mother. Your in my thoughts dear friend. (Hugs)Indigo

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  20. This maylook impossible, but once the breakthrough to the other side happens you'll see the difference. Here with you.

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  21. JBR,

    Abandonment is something so difficult to overcome and not take personally in some small way. Here is hoping that you continue on your healing path.

    Love and Hugs ~ Kat

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  22. One who will NEVER abandon - HE WHO CREATED YOU AND KNEW YOU FROM BEFORE YOU WERE FORMED IN THE WOMB...it's important to dig through your issues - it's also important to fully embrace the Alpha and Omega - One who brings Healing in His Wings!!!
    Blessings to you my sister...
    Shawna

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  23. JBR,
    Abandonment issues are tough. The pain follows us into the adult years. When the Holy Spirit touches these areas sometimes it can feel like we are regressing but He is simply bringing them to the surface to heal them. And He will; He wants us to be whole. It doesn't always happen overnight though, sometimes I wonder if it will ever be finished:) I guess this is where faith comes in.

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  24. That scene is devastating to many children after the loss of a parent. It's a real big thing.

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  25. Isn't the way we create beliefs from others, regardless or not if they are true or not fascinating?

    And then it takes a lifetime for our mind to be renewed from relationship with and reconciliation to our creator ... our air that we breath!

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  26. Thank you all again for your words and sharing your own personal pain. I appreciate your honesty very much!

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  27. I also have a lot of abandonment issues. I don't think it has to be put on one person or incident. Each thing that happened along the way strengthened the belief that I was not worth bothering with, that people would leave me, that I couldn't count on anyone...
    It's very hard to work through the feelings of worthlessness. Maybe that's the hardest thing of all.

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  28. Abandonment is tough, as many people here have already commented. So you know you are not alone. I struggle with it too. Hugs.

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