CRITICAL WORDS CAN KILL

"Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone." (Colossians 4:6)

“The phrase, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me!" couldn't be further from the truth. Words can be catastrophic, tearing through your heart like a tornado roaring down a residential street. While there may not be any visible destruction, the damage to your spirit can be just as devastating as a row of demolished homes.

Although the initial sting of harsh words is evident, you may be unaware of the lingering effects. Overly critical words leave you with hurt feelings and a poor self-image. Being wounded by someone with a critical spirit often changes how you see yourself. God holds us all accountable for how we use our words - especially the ones that hurt. Critical words don't come from a wise heart, nor do they reflect God's heart. Only He can heal your spirit and teach you how to respond to criticism. He's waiting to enrich your heart with encouragement, both for your good and for the good of others.” (Hope for the Heart)

I share the above because I am just as guilty. Both my parents were/are very critical individuals. My father especially was. Unfortunately, I too can be the same way. Being the hardest on myself. Although I can do it more subtlety, some people cannot. Case in point......

As I arrived at my mother’s for Thanksgiving dinner yesterday, I was greeted at the door with the words, “You have gained a lot of weight!” What a welcome! Now didn’t we have this freaking conversation a week ago where I told her I did not appreciate her comment then? Grant it she is up there in age, and I could blame her remark as a senior moment, but no! She has always done this. So there is no excuse.

Well, I had enough. I was seething, but only God and I knew this. I flat out told her that I did not appreciate her comment. She replied, that I was too sensitive. I remarked back, “no, and I do not care to have this topic ever brought up again.” She said in her defense, “well you could say the same thing to me and I wouldn’t get upset.” I finished by saying, “first I would not even say that to you or anyone else for that matter.” She huffed and that was the end of that particular topic. Hopefully for good!!

This was the first time that I did not feel guilty after confronting my mother about something. And it felt good!! Normally, I would not say anything to begin with and just accept her harsh words and sink lower into despair. But, I am tired of feeling crappy and I want healing and to begin to believe that I am worthy!! I may come over sounding mean, but it is all about me setting my boundaries.

She has already called me three times this morning about non-sense. The last time I did not even bother answering the phone.

Ironically enough, another incident with what I perceived as rejection also happened yesterday, which I will share about in another post in a couple of days.

Thanksgiving Day was certainly a trying and testing day for me.