"Yet a time is coming
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23

My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.

Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.

Daddy let me be secure in You only!

Wednesday, February 17, 2010


Do you try and keep your inner world controlled? I know I do.

When I was experiencing my roller coaster ride of emotions last night, I could not control my inner world as before. Understanding to heal is to release the bondage of control of my raw emotions. To once again "feel." What a powerful statement. "To Feel Again." Wo, just seeing those words and actually saying them out loud as I type them, "To Feel Again!" "To Feel Again!" "To Feel Again!"

My emotions inside have been dormant for such a long time. The good feelings that were once experienced as a youngster, the happiness, the carefreeness, have long been lost due to abuse. But are in the process of being found and released once again!

So, yeah, I am certainly looking forward to feeling again fully! Feeling again fully will come to fruition. I am getting there, I know I am. I know I have been experiencing the surfacing of raw painful emotions on my journey in order to mend. Nevertheless, I know there is still a ways to go.

Hey, I am like the next guy, I certainly do not enjoy feeling deep emotional anguish of having my abuse surface where I just want to quit and die.

As survivors, we have been told that we have gone through the worst of our pain while it was actually happening. Even though knowing I have to go and walk through the pain really only one more time, this time cognitively knowing God is with me to reach to the prize of freedom, then it is totally worth it!!!


  1. Sometimes you have to fight to keep walking to freedom. God is walking with you.

  2. God restores our soul. What a beautiful promise from the Lord! Think about that for a moment. God restores your soul! Your soul is made up of your mind, your will and your emotions.

  3. Reference the picture, you can't feel love with a rubber glove.


  4. Wherever you go, God and His Son go with you. Remembering you in prayer . . .


  5. He will give you
    the courage,
    the strength,
    the healing.
    Keep leaning into him.


  6. I'm excited for you, because when God starts churning our emotions in this way, it's usually a forerunner to a mighty work He's doing in your spirit. Wah Hoo!!!

  7. as they say 'what doesn't kill us, only makes us stronger' a true believer in emotion, fearing the times/moments when numbness consumes and those emotions are locked and buried away... your on your way :)

  8. I've got to agree with Deborah Ann.....Sounds just the the Holy Spirit turning over the soil.
    Believing with you ........Ph'p:1:6: Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:
    Hugs, GG

  9. If it hurts deeply, keep going.
    Love and hugs, Paula

  10. I just kept thinking...beauty for ashes, beauty for ashes. Hang in there!

  11. I agree with Rose..God will restore everything that you have been robbed of.... in His timing... I too was abused for many years as a child...

  12. Sweetie, here understanding you. Getting to know more about you as your process.

  13. Do not let go, hang on sweetie.

  14. Hang in there...feeling is scary, isn't it? I was on a roller coaster last night as well, and sometimes it's almost unbearable. But I try to remember that even if I have no one else, I have God. And if I don't hang on through all of this for anyone else, I have to hang on for God. Good luck..I will be praying for you.

  15. I know this is difficult. Facing our deamons will set us free. I keep you in my prayers for the strength it will take.

  16. That takes so much courage...to let go. I hope that someday I can. It's great to know that this time you don't have to walk alone.

  17. I so agree with you that the pain we go through as children is great, but that pain we experience stays with us as adults and we are left to deal with it, heal, keep moving forward despite living in this "frozen state" at times. Your words that were repeated (and should have been shouted from the mountain tops), "I FEEL AGAIN" resonated with me in such a huge way. How else could I/we/any survivor of childhood abuse or marital abuse as was my case also have survived without stuffing those feelings. I for one was NOT allowed to show my feelings, so there they went-stuffing them down into that deep dark hole of my soul. I do believe that is one of the big things I'm working on with God's help is to not only feel again, but to even identify WHAT I am feeling. But, as you stated, I WILL FEEL AGAIN and God will give me the courage to even feel those raw emotions of pain that I have done such a good job of stuffing for way too long. I admire your courage and your strength to post so honestly in this area. You'll never know how it has benefited me. Thanks my friend and let's continue on with God in our healing. xxxooo Janie

  18. "To Feel Again!" - It's a long road, but one worth it when we know the goal we have in Christ, and that God is with us every painfilled step of the way.
    God bless :)