"Yet a time is coming
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23

My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.

Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.

Daddy let me be secure in You only!

Saturday, February 20, 2010


Had an interesting encounter with tears of anguish this afternoon. I was watching the movie, Dances with Wolves. Seen it a couple of times before. As I was sitting in the comfy of my home, for some reason when the early scene where the Indians (Pawnees) found the man, Timmons who gave Kevin Costner (Dunbar) a ride on the carriage and proceeded to shoot arrows into him, and with his dying breath he said, "Don't hurt my mules." The flood gates were open!

I could not contain myself. I was doubled over crying profusely on the floor for about five minutes. These tears came deep within my soul along with moans. What is up with that? It was bad enough the guy was being shot repeatedly with arrows and dying, and then for him to utter those last words to set me off. Only thing I could figure was I connected deeply to the mans pain within my pain of grief and I did not want anything else to suffer needlessly including mules!


  1. You are such a beautiful person, bless you.

  2. Obviously ya just needed a good release sweetie!

    God bless and enjoy your Saturday!!!

  3. What came to mind for me is this ~ that someone could actually love their mules more then your mother may have loved you. (I'm not trying to be mean so please don't be hurt by this.) I apologize if I offended you in anyway, I just wanted to share what came to my mind.

  4. As I read your post, at first I thought like Just Breeze did that his care for the mules triggered because someone cared for them and someone cares for you, but as I finished reading I see - you are concerned about all around you despite the pain you are in. You are crying out 'don't hurt my mules' while arrows sink into your own heart.

    I hear you. I think one of the reasons its so hard for me to talk about my pain is that I fear it would cause another pain.

  5. Denise, thank you for your kind words.

    Nezzy, obviously is an understatement. Thank you.

    Just Breathe, I have thought about this many
    times. Being I own birds, I am very concerned about them and at times wonder why. You did not offend me. Rest assured. Thank you for sharing!

    Beth, thank you for your insight. Hmmmm.... sorry for your pain as well.

  6. It is amazing to me what can trigger the tears to flow. What touches a place in us that is raw and still needs healing. We think we are doing well, and maybe in part we are, but the tears show there is more. I think sometimes it's God's gentle way of saying, "we have more to do".

  7. Sometimes movies get to me too-- usually when I need to purge all of my emotions. Maybe that was what was going on?

    I hope all is well,

  8. You know, emotions are strange things. When my mother died, I got through the hard things. But I'd suddenly cry while trying to order a cheeseburger or standing in line at the DMV. That's just how it is. You had something that needed to come out, and that's how it did. Love and hugs to you, JBR.

  9. Kathy, appreciate you sharing some painful memories. Thank you for the hugs and love.

    NOS, thank you for your continued comments. Glad to see you dear one.

    Mary, yes you are right, the rawness of our hurt is so evident at times, especially when tears are triggered. Yes, He does have more to do. Blessings.

  10. Bless your heart. I could so feel and relate to that. My first thought was that you were so touched for his concern for his precious animals in spite of his own agony. Kind of like Jesus on the cross, or Stephen at his stoning.


  11. JBR: I agree with many of the comments here, this was a huge release of emotions and sometimes that comes when we are least expecting it! But it comes from the deep places in our hearts, and it's a healthy release. Remember the beautiful verse that promises that God keeps all our tears in His bottle... I love that!



  12. For me tears are cleansing. It is good to cry and let out those emotions that have been held so deep inside of you.

  13. Sometimes when I have been going over painful things, something will unconsciously trigger tears. I just let them go, for I know with each tear my internal pain is lessening. Take care! *hugs* <3

  14. That was just pent up tension and it needed a trigger to let it looses, as tears.

  15. I think those tears that were released during that scene we meant to be released. I have a b.f. I've met at work since moving to MN., her sister just passed unexpectedly a couple of weeks ago. She keeps saying, "I haven't had MY crying time yet." She was listening to a song on the radio and was full of emotions...we both agreed that we had difficulty in releasing the sadness and grief we have experienced. God uses different tools/methods to allow us to just get it out. I'm glad it happened to you. As for your moans, that was coming from very deep within I believe. Hang in there go. I've got your back and am praying for you. janie